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Comment by Karen R. on October 12, 2012 at 12:04am

I too have the desire to speak with a medium. I am hooked on a show that comes on he TLC network called Long Island Medium with Theresa Caputo. I signed up for her waiting list, which takes years. It's so funny how someone recommended her to me a few weeks after my son passed, she had no tv show at that time and was just doing small group meetingd in her home or people would use her for medium parties, she was not famous then.  I kept contemplating calling her, I am so sorry I didn't. That was just about 3 yrs ago. She's been on Dr. Oz's show twice. I do believe that my son protected me and his little sister from a what would've been a fatal accident about a year ago. The car missed us by inches, literally, and the driver had to be going a minimum of 100 miles/hr. in and out the lanes. Just as he barely missed us, he unfortunately caused another car to swerve and hit the metal railing on the highway, it was horrific.  I saw it coming from my rear view mirror and braced myself, I just knew that my little daughter and I were gone, those poor people in that other car. I don't know why but I truly felt like my son helped us because I suddenly decided to change lanes just as the car was coming.

Comment by Sophia on October 11, 2012 at 11:06pm

Karen, I too wish Jimmy would reach out to me. I have felt him, especially when I'm outside in nature and I focus on his face in my mind & think hard on my memory of his voice, etc. I don't know if I'm actually communicating with him but I hope I am.  I'v felt that he's telling me things I know he would based on knowing him. But I too will only believe that he is ok & at peace when/if I am given a sign by him. I'v considered going to a psychic but I'm weary of being BS'd. A friends husband passed away a few years ago and she went to a psychic who she claims was right on mark with her entire reading. I may go to that one but I'm not sure.  I know what you mean about thinking we're immune - most of us think this until...! I shutter at the thought of living with this for the remainder of my life. I also, for the first time in my life, have absolutely no fear of death. I don't wish for it by any means (as I have 2 other children) however I have no fear of it and will welcome it, when it is my time, in hopes that I will see Jimmy again. People have told me "he's watching over me", which is so cliche, but I do believe this is true.

Comment by Karen R. on October 11, 2012 at 10:33pm

Yes Sophia, you said it so right!!! I still can't believe I write, type, think, say or even feel like my son passed away/crossed over. It just seems so unbelievable' yet I know this is the painful side of life. I side I wish I had been spared. Why did I think my children were exempt from this fate? If only my son would reach out to me and confirm that he is at peace and is truly ok. It's like I will only accept it from him because my faith has been broken, my comfort zone is gone, I took for granted that my children would bury me.

Comment by Sophia on October 11, 2012 at 10:08pm

Hi, I know this isn't exactly what you mean however; I just read Karen's post & when my son first passed I also had fear he wouldn't be able to visit me from 'beyond', as crazy as this sounds I do believe the spirit lingers in our 'world' for some time before moving on. I had recently moved and he hadn't been to my new home. He had been out of town and then went to stay at his fathers home. He passed just weeks after he returned home. I had seen him, fortunately. I brought him some of his things to his fathers. I spoke to him last just one week before he passed. As parents we will always feel that we need to protect our children, be there for them - they should know how to reach us no matter where we are or what we're doing.  Also, I had my son's remains cremated only because I can not bare to have his remains laying in the ground. I plan to bury his ashes one day because I know he would want to have a grave stone memorializing his all too brief life. I hope he understands my needing to keep his remains close because he and I were so close. I also know I have to bury some of his ashes and give him the grave stone he wanted. I didn't know what to do as far as burial or cremation because I would never think to discuss with my children what they want done upon death - its always the other way around. A few months after his passing his girlfriend informed me that they had discussed it at one point and he wanted to be buried. I felt guilty and I wish she would've told me at the time I had to make the choice. Honestly we were both in shock and were not thinking clearly enough to stop to consider even discussing this. I stil feel a bit guilty but given that to a certain degree I do believe he is now free of all our worldly concerns that he understands that I didn't want to place his remains in a cold cemetary ground. Even writing this is mind blowing to me - I stil can't believe this is even something I have to think about! It's too much sometimes - other times its alway there (on my mind) but it is just so aweful to be writing this to be thinking all this to be living this.

Comment by Karen R. on October 11, 2012 at 9:25pm

Hello to all, wow, I panic over thought of moving anywhere. Not just from the fear of him not being able to find me....because this must be a horrible mistake, he must be lost. Then I go through phases of thinking, if he is "gone", then who will maintain and visit is final resting place like me? Who will care like me?....no one, because I'm his mom. I also go through the feeling of guilt if I moved away, I feel like my son will think I have moved on and "moving on" to me equates with this is all "ok" and it's not. I keep thinking that he will feel like I am like everyone else who in my eyes has forgotten about him. I just don't feel like I can move forward with anything, I don't feel like could ever be happy again. Happiness seems so unobtainable.

Comment by Sophia on October 11, 2012 at 5:53pm

Hi everyone.  Thank you Stephanie for your kind words and I hope & pray you are right about me seeing Jimmy again! As well as all of you seeing the child you've lost again one day! 

Comment by Michelle W on October 11, 2012 at 4:40pm

Angel,
You are not alone its 11 months and 16 months ago we bought a 5bdrm to have kids then grand kids live and enjoy with us,., if it became to big we would move..., I could never move now... As you said ( which makes me crazy to everyone) what if he came home how would he find me if I wasn't there???!so we will. E there now forever..,,and I now can't sleep again only 6 hours in the last 3 days.,,, just like when it happened....,I'm trying to tough it out....hugs to all today ... Another challenging day.,..,

Comment by Stephanie on October 11, 2012 at 3:19pm

wow Angel, it is so very rough... i hear what you are saying, what pain this is... what pain for a mother to endure

Comment by Angel on October 11, 2012 at 2:55pm

It took me ten months to  realize my daughter even died...I had dissociated because I couldn't touch it.....so when I came to after ten months I freaked out and ended up in a crisis unit overnight...talked the Dr. in the morning and he started the meds...I couldn't live without something to help....it then took me ten years to be somewhat normal..I can remember being afraid to move because she wouldn't know where I lived WHEN ..not ..IF she came back....I'm holding my own now...when she came and took my husband on her birthday....I knew she was OK...and it was a sign for me...we all need to have blind faith in the Lord....if I didn't think she was safe and at peace and my husband wasn't with her out of pain...my mind wouldn't be a part of me any longer...Peace! Angel

Comment by Stephanie on October 11, 2012 at 2:36pm

and also SOPHIA, u certainly will see your precious Jimmy again. For now we have to do the best we can for our other kids. I think maybe I purpose here is all about giving any love and kindness to those who need it, here on earth... and we do that IN THE MERIT of our loved ones who are already on the other side x x x x x x

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