Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
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Latest Activity: Feb 24
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.
Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Sophia, i am so sorry that everything is happening around the anniversary of your son's death. I felt as if any increase in stress was just too much, especially in the first two years. I don't handle stress as well as i use to. Please try to take one stressfull thing at a time and take care of yourself. as you have learned we can offer our love to our surviving childern, and sometimes that all we have to give.
Hello to all of you. I am going through a "when it rains, it pours" time right now. It is the 1yr anniversary of Jimmy's death 11/13/12. My two living children are both depressed due to this as well as other things. I may be forced to move from a friends home where I've been staying because I am a bad friend and let her down (or so she says). I realize I haven't been myself the past year but if my oldest child dying isn't reason then what on earth is?!? My living children do not currently live with me and I've been un-employed & fortunately collecting un-employment. I am looking for work in my field and admittedly I put off looking for work a bit due to my sadness and grief. I am literally affraid to sit down and talk with this friend because the last time we did she tore into me like a tornado and I'v been shell shocked ever since! I didn't even really respond to her accusations and opinions at the time because: A. I couldn't believe how angry she was and B. I'm staying in her home and I didn't want to get into a full blown argument. I just let her tear into me and when her young kids came in from outside I got up and went to my room. I've been keeping my space as much as possible for nearly 2 weeks now, but it is ridiculous at this point. The holidays are coming, my kids are going through stuff, I'm looking for work and may have to move much sooner than I planned and my sweet oldest child is dead. What more??! How much can a person take??! I went to church sunday for the first time in a long time. Not to be selfish and pray for things to go my way but because I went to visit my Grandmother in another state and she asked me to go. I haven't seen her since Jimmy died which was the last time I went to church. I should go more often as I did feel a sense of peace afterward. I have an appointment with a staffing agency tomorrow (hope for the best). I'm worried about my children. I just want things to smooth over with my friend, even if she wants me out ASAP, as she said 2 weeks ago. We have known each other for 30 years and it would be a shame to have our friendship end. She is hard to please & very hard on people, always has been but I've been able to walk away in the past. Right now I'm about as sensitive, delicate and nervous as I've ever been and ever will be. Why are things so bad and wrong right now? I'm far from perfect & I'm the first to admit it. I'm sure I'm to blame for some things but all of this on top of everything else is nearly too much to bare!
Thanks for listening - thanks for this site!
it is true, this world is changed and so difficult to find ways to make sense of things and navigate. It is surreal, and yet it is too real. And no one ever tells you how grief takes a physical toll. I have never felt the pressure of an elephant sitting on my heart like I do now with Sy gone. Other health issues keep coming up, it just seems like part of the deal. Karen R., I don't feel like I need to accept Sy's death either. I don't think it works that way for everyone, and resent when others who don't understand talk about needing to accept & move on, and that my son wouldn't want me to be so sad... REALLY? No kidding. Somehow I think our kids understand that this sadness is part of the love we have for them & it is because we miss them so. sending hugs
I know how you feel Zelma, I can't say that dreaded "D" word. That "D" is equal to d evastation, d epressing. It's a little over 3 years.....wow, how I hate even saying that, that my son passed away and nothing has "gotten BETTER" yet!!! Better?...I don't even know what that means. Not only is my sadness intensifying, my anger is as well. I am still amazed how I survive each day. Somedays my grief and mourning over takes me to the point that I appear like I am having a full body seizure! It's as if my body/soul is trying to shake away the thoughts of my son passing away. Sometimes I get so angry that I try to literally beat the thoughts out of my mind, I truly feel crazy. I will NEVER accept what has happened to my son. I want him back!!!!
Sorry to everyone for all those rough nights and days, this is all horrible.
Yesterday was Ivy's fifth birthday. She died just over a year ago. We didn't do much- just cupcakes and had my bro in law and his family over. I was doing fine until they left. Then it hit me. I started thinking about how much she would have changed in a year. She'd be in preschool now. It just broke my heart. It was a rough night.
So true Robin. There are days when we can smile or share a laugh. But there are days where our world comes crashing down and our hearts breaks into a million pieces all over again. Sometimes it happens when we're just doing or daily chores around the house and a memory pops up and before we know it, the flood gates are opened and flashbacks come back into the picture. Sending peace to you all and strenght to go forward in this new world of ours. Hugs from me.
Today is the day my friend will bury her daughter. My husband talked to her yesterday, and of course as we can all remember, she is barely holding on. She wanted to know if this is all worth it, hanging in there or to just give up. It is so hard to help her see that it does, at least for me and my husband, get a little easier. Not every single second is so painful to breath. I have had days that I have been able to enjoy being with my daughters, granddaugthers and husband, and actually laughed. I didn't ever think that would happen again. I am forever changed, even in those moments, I am thinking of Zach and wish he were there with us. Not going to lie, I still have bad days, where I can just see something or have a thought, and it can all come crashing down around me again. I just have to hold on and know that I have felt that way before, and that I survived it to another day. Prayers for my friends on this horrific day, and for all of us missing our children. Hugs. Robin
sending love to friends here. it just doesn't get easier. Only longer since I have seen Silas... I go between numb and devastated.
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