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Comment by toni m dicarlo on March 15, 2013 at 6:49pm

18 months  goneand I am now facing Gabriels 18 birthday, This is not my life and every day i get up to go to work and i am the walking numb, I dream about  his beautiful face almost every night and wake up crying. It seems that after an okay day the next is so very sad and physically painful, I never knew such sadness could be so physically painful

 

Comment by Robin Jone on March 14, 2013 at 6:51pm

Have not been on here for awhile, my youngest daughter moved back home which is good for me any way. I don't have as much quiet time to just sit and think. On the 3rd of this month, it had been 18 months since I lost my son, Zach. For those of you who are new to this group, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish that we would never have to have new members, I don't wish this pain on any one. I will say that most days for me have gotten a little easier, though it seems like the last week or so I have been having some hard days again. Not really sure why, but I am remembering times with Zach growing up and having some regrets. I have three daughters also, and I just had a different relationship with Zach them I have with them. I didn't have a whole lot in common with Zach, but as he was getting older we were getting closer. I regret that we weren't as close or did as much together as I did with my daughters. The other night I just lay in bed and cried feeling so sad that I didn't do more with him than I did. Does anyone else ever have those feelings. I am sad that just when we were beginning to spend more time together, that is when I lost him. I miss him so very much, and wish I could just give him one more big hug and tell him how much I love him and miss him. I have to believe that some day I will see him again or I would go crazy. Sending prayers and hugs to all.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on March 11, 2013 at 5:44pm

Tammy things will never be the same.  All you can do is go with the ups and downs of the days that will go by.  I keep myself busy and do these projects that I told myself I need to get done.... but deep inside I'm so broken.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  Grieve when you need to, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Only you know what is right for you.  Hugs from me.  Hugs to everyone here on the site.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 11, 2013 at 2:31am

Tammy. I'm so sorry. We know the pain. The grief you are experiencing. It never will be okay. Never be better It just gets different. Sending you and the others a hug.

Comment by Karen R. on March 10, 2013 at 9:23pm

Hi Tammy, I am also very sorry to learn of yet, another tragic loss. It has not gotten any easier for me since my 21 yr old son passed away in October 2009!  I just feel like it will NEVER be "ok". I would also encourage you to join us all here, where we all truly 'get it'. So sorry.

Comment by Ammy on March 10, 2013 at 10:07am

Hi Tammy, I am so sorry that you have had to experience the loss of your son.  To me, there is no loss as devastating as that of a child.

I just wanted to let you know that what you are feeling is completely normal.  Do not expect to get over it as some think we should.  Take your time and grieve.  Each day may be a little different, but you will have calmer days.  It takes time.  You will never forget or stop loving and missing him, but it will not always be as hard as it is.  You are still fresh in your grief.  5 Months is not long at all.  Let yourself grieve as you need, but also try to take care of yourself.  

I also lost my son.  In 4 days I will be at 32 months and some days are just like it happened, but I do have days that are not as bad.  Each one of us walk the same road, but in slightly different shoes and at different times.  It's okay.

Come here and write.  It's helpful to get out your feelings & frustrations.  We are all here to do that and to help and be helped.

Blessings & hugs to the group.

Ammy

(Mom of Chas 7/14/2010)

Comment by tammy burch on March 9, 2013 at 7:24pm

MY NAME IS TAMMY I LOST MY SON IN OCTOBER TO SUICIDE HE WAS 22 I MISS HIM ALOT . I SOMETIMES WISH I WOULD WAKE UP AND HE WILL BE CALLED FOR ME .BUT I KNOW HE WILL NEVER DO THAT .I CRY ALMOST EVERYDAY  IT IS GETTING HARDER AS THE DAYS GO ON NOT EASIER AS PEOPLE SAY IT DOES

 

Comment by Karen R. on March 7, 2013 at 1:20pm

Oh my dear Adrianne, I know.....here's a hug.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 7, 2013 at 12:00am

We pretty much all have the same torments. Karen you put in to words what I'm going through. I don't want to think about the autopsy but I do. I couldn't ever deal with him being hurt in any way. I'm tired of this pain. I pray for god to just take me. it is a struggle to be in this much pain 24/7. I miss him so much. I failed to keep him safe.

Comment by Karen R. on March 6, 2013 at 8:40pm

Hello to all, just hurting and crying with you all.

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