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Comment by Ammy on March 30, 2013 at 10:06pm

Just wanted to send everyone a hug.    

Comment by Sophia on March 30, 2013 at 4:33pm

I've realized that i do whatever i can so that i'm never alone in my thoughts. When i'm not at work i must have the tv on because if its not i'm overcome with thoughts of Jimmy. I cannot concentrate on reading a book & i can barely complete any work at home, especially when i'm alone. When i'm alone, which is most weekdays after work, i'm flooded with sadness & i still feel as if i'm in a nightmare i'll wake from. I miss him so, so very much. Holidays, birthdays - everyday seems more sad than the last. For me the intense grief is only getting more intense with each passing day. Easter, then mothers day (which is always either on or wirh-in the week of my damned birthdsy), then Jimmys birthday (would've been 24 yrs this year). He was always kind & thoughtful about mothers day/my birthday. I miss him & i want him back but the reality is i wont & i'll forever feel his loss.

Comment by Michele Hayes on March 30, 2013 at 7:16am

Linda- we went to the memorial at the hospital that Ivy died. Everyone was crying. I personally think its a good thing. I think I tend to bury my grief so it was good for me to deal with it head on. Hang in there. Its killed me to lose one child, I can't even begin to imagine losing two.

Comment by linda hernandez on March 30, 2013 at 6:03am

yesterday i  received a card from the hospital where my son died that ask me to attended a memorial in his honor as well as other who have past in the last year of cancer,was also ask to bring something to remember him by.last time i did this was 20 yrs ago when i lost my little girl it killed me then so i am asking if anyone thinks i should do it know,they play always the circle of life and that's where i loose it.and as it was said here its another empty holiday filled with memories but my plans is to have a picture taken wearing our shirts with the caption always remember but never forgotten.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 30, 2013 at 1:44am

Almost Easter. Another empty holiday filled with memories that are bittersweet.

Comment by Karen R. on March 28, 2013 at 1:22pm

Thanks Grace and I am also very sorry for the loss of your husband. Thanks for everyone's support and love.

Comment by Grace on March 27, 2013 at 5:54pm

Today I got a letter from the man who recieved  Niles' Right Kidney.... I think we will contact each other.  He is Married with Children and his name is Stuart.   I have met the Heart recipient and have become friends with her...  I guess I am happy that we did the Organ Donation but I still had the dreams of the actual harvest.... over and over.... and the cremation process...  My imagination...because I really have not seen these ..... except maybe when it is addressed on TV.

I also had dreams that I had somehow misplaced my son and was in a continual search to find him.  Maded me feel like a mother dog looking for a missing puppy.

Karen.... I lost my husband in 1983 and also my son....  both were with irreversible brain injury/death....  It is so hard to walk out of that room.... they still look the same.... hard to believe that some one can pronounce that they are dead.... like turning off a light switch....just like that...  And we still see THEM... as our child...laying there... we should be taking them home...not leaving them there....  It is so hard to accept....  even after 4 years.

Comment by Ammy on March 27, 2013 at 5:08pm

BTW ~ In the state of PA, for autopsy reports I think you could ask your family doctor to request it (no fee), or you can request it from the medical examiner/coroner but they charge you per page.

Also, in our state, after 1 year it becomes public record at the court house.

I would first ask family doctor.  Call and find out if you want it.

Just posted my weekly post on my son's page.  I really feel like I have to focus on quitting this, but I don't know why exactly.  Couple of reasons bounce around inside my ditzy head.

Love & hugs all. 

Comment by Ammy on March 27, 2013 at 4:11pm

I read an article today - "What they don't tell you about grief."  The writer lost her mother, but I think the last paragraph fits so well ...

~They don’t tell you that, at the end of the day, all you can think is that grief is not a wall that comes crashing down on you all at once like you expected.  Instead, it’s a wall whose bricks fall (bit by bit, piece by piece) and bruise you and break you and beat you down, slowly.~

And as time goes on we know it will never have an ending.

My heart is aching for us all today.  ♥

Comment by Connie K on March 27, 2013 at 3:11pm

It's not that I'm afraid to read the autopsy report just don't want to see any pictures that will make everything harder. I am just glad he didn't suffer - that it was quick. I guess I would be more interested in reading the report if I didn't know what had killed him - a blow to the head from a steel post at 60 miles an hour. I wish everyone hope and prayers going through this.

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