Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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It takes time and grief work and a commitment to find a new life for yourself.
Be patient with yourself. Remember, you did not love for a few weeks, so do not expect to resolve your grief after a few weeks either.
Remember, love never goes away. It remains in your heart forever, and every day you can renew that love.
And, someday, memories of your child will bring you warmth and joy again.
Sending special hugs to you Connie. This will be my 3rd Mother's day. I found that as time goes by it gets harder. Mainly I think the reason is due to the realization that our child is not here with us anymore. My grief is different from what it was 2 years ago. But it's still grief. My heart will be forever broken. So strange this week, I feel like my son's spirit is with me more this week.... kind of like just letting me know that his spirit is still around. Missing him so much today.
Last weekend my niece got married and I was happy to be able to attend. I was doing okay until the Mother/Son dance and the grief poured in like it had happened that day. It's been5 months and it's just harder. I sometimes think he will be home and with each day that goes by, it is clearer that I will never see him again or hear his voice call my name or laugh. I read another mom say that is like giving birth in reverse - it has a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual affect on us -
in reverse. But what hit home was that she said that when she was pregnant she would say she was eating for 2 and now that her child is gome she has to live life for 2. I strive to find the spiritual courage to somehow embrace my life again but am struggling. He was my only child and it has changed who I am. I am wondering how to get through this Sunday, my first Mother's Day without my sweet boy. I think we have to all remember that we are STILL their parent and celebrate that we had them in out lives for the time we did. Easier said than done however... sometimes I feel like I am just going to die from the grief. Thanks everyone for being here and sharing your journey. Thank God we at least have each other to lean on. I am sorry for the pain you are all going through.
Celena, the thing you wrote earlier about remembering and forgeting... that stuck in my head yesterday..... I almost wrote but did not until now... I read and respond in my head more than I write sometimes..... sorry... because I know how important it is to know someone has read your thoughts here....
FORGET/ REMEMBER.... I think we all worry that we are going to forget special moments or our child as time goes by.... or that if we hurt or grieve less or feel better that we will forget them. We fight to hold each memory because that is all we have left.... memories.
My son died May 2009. It has gotten softer the pain...but I still miss him.... My first husband died in 1983. I still remember him but the pain is much less. My life became a new book.... not just a new chapter. Each experience has become a part of us... that creates who we are today. Sounds like wisdom that I am writing.....
BUT I still grab on to those Memories... Cherish them and worry that I may forget things.... My son was a challenge with his Autism... so I may even make more of my memories the pleasent ones..less of the stressful ones.
I still do not look forward to Mother's Day.... but I will put on my Happy Face for my other 2 adult kids.....
Hey Celena , So sorry for your pain. What you said about this pain being so deep beyond anyone's imagination is so true. This pain makes not only makes us emotionally sick but physically as well, its like my heart literally aches and I feel like I've had a headache since 2009 when my son passed away, I still feel 'stuck' in that day, Oct 16, 2009. I still hate typing it, writing it, saying it or even thinking it....that my son actually passed away, I don't see how I will ever be able to accept and still don't know why I have to. I am so angry, I just want my son back, I want this all to be some kind of horrible mistake, I want it fixed!!! It's so difficult for me to share my true thoughts and feelings with any of the "lay people" so to speak, you know, the people that have not had to bury their child. I am glad that I have the support on this site but yet sad that such a site even exists. Sending you hugs.
Hi Linda, thanks for sharing.
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