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Comment by anne on May 27, 2013 at 11:51pm

Last week I was out of town. While I was asleep in the middle of the night I had a terrible nightmare, which I have on occasion, and I heard my little boy crying for me, and somehow I got out of bed to run to him and found myself standing outside in the torrential rain. I wish there was a way to stop this from happening. Does anyone else have this problem? I sure could use a little help. Blessings to all of you, you deserve it the most.

Comment by anne on May 27, 2013 at 11:46pm

to all of you out there hurting as bad as I do today, you are not alone!

Comment by anne on May 27, 2013 at 11:43pm

Today was memorial day, and all I could think about was seeing my Soldier Ben in his dress blues the day I had to bury him. I'll never forget the day he received them. He was so excited, and couldn't wait to show me how handsome he looked in them. He was killed before I got the chance, so I had to see them for the first time on him in his casket. They didn't mean the same to me after that.

Comment by Connie K on May 27, 2013 at 6:01pm

Adrianne and Ammy- It is sad to wish you had said things or had not said things. But I think they know and all is forgiven. I believe that but truly wish I had done exactly what you said and told him more often of the wonderful things he was and did and not focus on what he didn't do. So many emotions to work through and deal with! It's so hard and I feel for all of us who have to go through this. Prayers to all.

Comment by Ammy on May 27, 2013 at 11:57am

Adrianne, I know exactly what you mean.  The last couple of weeks I have been thinking so much of all the things our son helped with.  We didn't thank our son enough either.  Seemed like we paid more attention to what he didn't do than what he did.  So sad.

Hope everyone has a decent day today.  I am hoping to just veg and not think of the holiday except for those that gave their lives in service.

Sending prayers and hugs to all.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 27, 2013 at 2:16am

Another holiday tomorrow without my son. Don took care of all the set up and clean up. I never thanked him enough. Sad.

Comment by Vasanthi S on May 24, 2013 at 10:25am

Teresa, am praying for all here. I had worked for one year without a stop after I lost Micks... then I found it all too much-- and 'took a break' since Jan 2013.. well now its time for interviews again and I find my self dreading the question, " so who all are there in your family, do you have children  etc".. Twice in a panel interview I cried while saying that well I had the best boy any mother could have wished for ... and then I wonder who will employ a vice principal/principal for a school when she is sniveling at the mention of 'son'... sighhh Monday I have another interview and I am steeling myself. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going for inetrviews yet the option is to sit and stare .. my parents live in the next flat-- we had made a connecting door as I used to work outside very often so when Micks came home my mom used to take great care of him with so much of love.. I imagine what it is like for her to have her only grandchild whom she adored not there anymore and have to look at me trying to put on a brave front... sometimes i wish i was all alone so i didn't have to put on a front and sometimes i dread losing my mother too as she is 75.I'm scared I will lose everyone. hmmm well today an ex student of mine was visiting and she is a year younger than Micks and was his friend too. We went out shopping and for a movie-- in the movie I saw the young hero looking so appealing and seeing him I missed my son terribly. I told my friend Reens this is very difficult for me-- she said I can imagine but who can? well I'm glad to be back home again now...I opened his cupboard and smelt his favorite shirt and felt somewhat comforted.

Comment by Teresa D. on May 24, 2013 at 9:25am

Vansanthi I do the same thing.  I look for him even though I know I won't find him.  I call his phone even though I know he won't answer.  I asked God everyday, "Please just give him back."

Comment by Teresa D. on May 24, 2013 at 9:21am

Linda, It was your son that kept her protected. Thinking of you and your daughter today.

Comment by Vasanthi S on May 24, 2013 at 9:00am

Milt,I so totally understand what you are saying. My son too used to have a bike and later his car. The bike he loved cos it was there since he was 3 yrs old. Sometimes he would park it down and ask me to keep an eye on it. I would say ,why?' and he used to say ," mummy cos it is a living thing!!"I know the sound of his bike so well I was a single parent and he is my only son so i mourn yet I know that being the sweetheart he was, he is in a wonderful place for God did not make a world where people come and go at random. In times of distress, I firmly hang on to God who in his utter love and wisdom will never fail us. Milt, Linda, our children are fine , never doubt that and they love us and will always be there for us, do not doubt that. Linda that scare about your daughter would have shaken anyone. Hang in there...Love to all the parents who are suffering this most wounding loss and you are all in my prayers.

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