Comment

Comment by Vasanthi S on June 5, 2013 at 12:09am

The word,'loss' doesn't even begin to describe it-- its ur identity and soul that is torn away.

Comment by Shelley on June 4, 2013 at 3:39pm

No Michelle I love his friends very much they also spoke very heartfelt words at his funeral service. but I do feel jealous. And I was told a few minutes to let his girlfriend have his dog. I'm sorry I can't. She would not take care of him like I do and he (the dog) is the last link I have to my son and I won't ever let anything happen to him.

Comment by Michelle H on June 4, 2013 at 3:30pm

Shelley, I doubt very much that you're begrudging your son's friends or girlfruend their lives. But right now, you're seeing them stepping into some areas that were your son's in the past. And you probably wonder why it's not him. You're struggling, like all of us here, to deal with a world that ni longer makes sense. I hope you won't be so hard on yourself.

Comment by Shelley on June 4, 2013 at 2:24pm

I don't know Michelle... this is so hard sometimes I feel like I am being selfish and then I feel even worse it that is at all possible. :(

Comment by Michelle H on June 4, 2013 at 2:10pm

Shelley, you're not being selfish; you're facing the difficult of seeing your son's friends going on with their lives. And it hurts. By all means, keep your son's dog!

Comment by Shelley on June 4, 2013 at 2:00pm

Karen R ....My son was the manager of a small garden store. Now his very good friend that he got a job there for is the manager. My son's girlfriend is also working there. Every year they all went to a 4 day music festival that my son discovered and they all loved. They are all going this year with out him. My son had just bought a 2006 Dodge Charger and his girlfriend is trying to take over the loan. His girlfriend spends all her time (and yes nights) at my sons good friends house. I am so jealous that they get to go on with their lives and my son don't. its only been 4 months and I miss him so much. Am I horrible for being jealous? I am soooo crushed. Only thing is I am keeping his dog. I am.. if and when his girlfriend moves out of my house the dog is staying with me. his girlfriend may be mad but I am keeping the dog. Am I being selfish?

Comment by Michelle H on June 4, 2013 at 1:36pm

Does it...or did it...seem like after your child passed away that a whole lot of other things went wrong in a relatively short period of time? Almost as if losing a child wasn't even to push you over the edge? I guess that's just the normal stuff of life, but it seems like life is being especially cruel. I'm ready for a break!

Comment by Karen R. on June 4, 2013 at 1:13pm

Wow Teresa, you are so right, that's exactly how i feel, I feel like I'm grieving my son's future. I always say that I feel like my son and I were both robbed of his young life. I have mentioned before how i sobbed uncontrollably at a friend's wedding while her new husband did his mother/son dance. I tried to hold it in but I erupted into tears and began to wail. I felt so bad for not being able to control my emotions at such a joyous occassion, i didn't want any attention to be on my sadness, after all, it was her day. Watching him dance with his mother just reinforced that I would NEVER be able to have that dance with my son. I felt awful but everyone thank goodness was very supportive and comforting....or at least tried to be. I feel like I have to be fake, I hate making others feel uncomfortable around me...well, usually I feel bad but sometimes I don't, I feel like they need to know how I'm feeling, of course in a situation like her wedding, I felt bad. That's why I usually prefer not to go to any events. Everything is just a cruel reminder that my son is gone! I couldn't even dance at my own daughter's wedding, I haven't danced since my son passed and it will be 4 years in October....dancing is something I had always loved.

Comment by Karen R. on June 4, 2013 at 12:58pm

Michelle, I think you're right, they are "fixers".

Comment by Jane P on June 4, 2013 at 11:46am

When do you know you're in trouble? I am like others who are finding the grief getting worse. I am only sad and have no other feelings. It takes too much strength to wear "the mask". I am broken. 

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