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Comment by Teresa D. on February 14, 2016 at 7:58am

Comment by Teresa D. on February 14, 2016 at 7:54am

I love you Michael! I miss you so bad! 

I hope your dancing with the angels today!

MOMMY LOVES YOU MIKE! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!

You'll always be my Smurf!

As much as I tried to prepare myself dam this HURTS!!!!!!!!

Comment by Teresa D. on February 13, 2016 at 4:49pm

Comment by Connie K on February 11, 2016 at 1:24pm

Oh Ammy I am so sorry to hear what you've been through. I am an 11 year breast cancer survivor. There was no way that cancer was going to take me out. I had my son to raise. He was 10 at the time. 3 years later he was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and I became his caretaker. My cancer made me stronger  to deal with all the hospitals etc he had to later. I know it was hard on my son while I was going through treatment for a year. But I think it helped him too - to understand that we can get through the worst. And he did - only to ripped from this earth in a damn car accident. All of our life experiences have value. You know now that you can handle ANYTHING since you've lost a child. I am so happy to hear you are cancer free now and will keep you in my prayers. I know your son is with you and yes we are all one day closer to seeing them again. Thanks for your kind words.

Comment by Ammy on February 11, 2016 at 1:15pm

I have not been here in what seems like a long time.  Last Oct.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer and with all the doctor appointments, testing and surgeries (2) I have not been online much.  I finally had to have a mastectomy on Jan 21.  I should be cancer free now but I didn't seem to be stressed out when they told me I had cancer.  I just took it calmly and my family couldn't understand my attitude as they were upset.  I think that after a child loss nothing can shock us that much.  At least I guess that is how it is for me.  Each day I am grateful to be here with my family but I also count it as one day closer to being with my son again.

Connie, I am sorry that you are not feeling well.  I know it' can be harder on us when we are physically ill.  Seems to bring things so much closer to the surface.  I hope you will soon be feeling better. 

For all the new Moms that are here I can only tell you to take it as it comes.  Feel your pain, cry, scream.  Whatever you need to do, just do it.  It doesn't seem healing at the time, but it is and gradually it will ease.  It's a slow process but you are all strong women or you wouldn't be here.  Your children have only physically moved.  They are always with you; in every memory, every picture, every breath.

Love and hugs to all.

Comment by Connie K on February 11, 2016 at 12:01pm

sO true Michelle. My Daniel,was an only child also and I know that feeling of nothing more to come....all those things I thought I would pass on to him and to his kids are just sad reminders that no one else would care at all about any of it.

tOni good to hear from you. Daniel Would have been 21 this March 31. I also wonder what he would have done. just cannot believe this is my life either. hUgs to everyone

Comment by michelle schlund on February 10, 2016 at 7:39pm

Feb. 15,2016- will be 9 months without my son, my Logan, forever 20. I lost him 5/15/15 in a kayaking accident. I still can barely function, cannot work, therapy every week, medication for depression. Lost , so lost. I raised Logan as a single mom- he was my world. there will be no college graduation, no marriage, no grandkids, no one to even leave anything to when I die. Society,people have absolutely no clue...until it happens to them.

Comment by toni m dicarlo on February 10, 2016 at 7:02pm

Gabriel (Lolly)

WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF . I did not expect to be here after I lost you, I thought , no I knew I would just die in my sleep but I did not. May 26, is 5 years and I do get up each morning and wonder what you would do on your 21st birthday coming up? How can this be my life. How was I so blessed to have a wonderful caring son.  

Comment by Connie K on February 10, 2016 at 12:29pm

I am sick with a bad cold and it makes me feel so out of control. I can't keep it all together when I feel this way. Last week was both mines and my husbands birthdays. I always feel so guilty getting to have a birthday. Those times really drive home the truth of this life. Daniel is never coming home. I still can't deal with everything in his room. It's getting hard to be in my house but right now we can not move. I need to change my house, maybe redecorate. Make his room the music room. I know he'd love that. But I have no energy, no motivation. I feel stuck and in despair. But I know he lives on and I hear him say "I'm right here. Don't give up."  I have faith in a divine power so I keep going but time seems to have no meaning. I cannot believe it has been over 3 years. I feel stuck in that moment I found out he was gone. Day to day life is so tough. I am trying to learn from it all and change those things about myself that I regret. Giving service to others helps - but when you are sick it's hard to do that. Just needed to vent today - feeling so down. Hugs to everyone

Comment by Teresa D. on February 10, 2016 at 8:38am

Tammy all I can tell you is it is a slow process and in time you will find yourself moving to a different place.

Sharon...Medication, mediums etc....they are all personal choices. I say do whatever you need to to survive it.

I remember in the beginning I thought the harder I tried the quicker I could deal with it. I was wrong!  Ladies just do what you need to to take care of yourself and to process this.   Don't rush yourself or think you need to be healed to please others.

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