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Comment by Connie K on June 29, 2013 at 4:19pm

Marilyn, that's beautiful. I truly believe that spirit finds ways of letting us continue a relationship (in a different way) with our sweet departed children. They are still alive and happy with God, we just can't see them. So those little physical reminders are there to help us keep our faith that they ARE still with us when days become so sad and bleak. It's the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind. What a wonderful gift of a visit from your son. I am a singer and love, love, love Alison Krauss. I sing "Down in the River to Pray" seen her several times in concert and don't think I have heard of this song. I am going to look it up right now and learn it for my baby Daniel. Music is one way I stay connected and find release and some peace. Thank you for sharing and God bless you. Oh yeah - I think he already did by answering your request!

Comment by anne on June 28, 2013 at 5:42pm

I too still have those days. I don't think they ever really go away. They are less for me now, but those days sometimes can kick me to the wall.  When they hit I still get scared that they wont stop, but they always do until the next time. It's very hard getting to a place where those days come few and far between.

Comment by anne on June 28, 2013 at 5:34pm

The owl is beautiful! I hear them at night calling to each other on the farm. I always wonder what they are saying.  Hoooot, hoot, hoooot,hoot! I think i'm lonely

 

Comment by Teresa D. on June 28, 2013 at 8:24am

Michelle we raise our children to be who they become.  Your son knows how much you love him.  We will never stop loving our children, we're moms.  My Michael will live in my heart and the hearts of those who knew him for the rest of our lives.

Marilyn I have days just like yours.  Struggling to face the reality. I look at the calendar yet it feels like no time at all has passed. I'm functioning but am I living?  My heart is still pumping but am I really breathing? 

 

I was feeling ok the other day until I had to go pick someone up at the airport.  Last year right at this time I took a trip to London with my Michael.  As I looked around I could see him walking through the airport.  I could hear him and how excited he was.  My eyes started to swell up and I couldn't refocus.  Just then a lady came up to me all excited and asked me if I was waiting for my son to arrive from a graduation trip.  I broke.  Couldn't stop the tears. 

Comment by Michelle H on June 27, 2013 at 9:29pm

Really sad and depressed today. Not just because it's Thursday, but because I'm really struggling with something. I'm wondering if Chris finally understands things that I think he struggled with on earth and if now knows how much I loved (love!) him. I wonder if he knows how hard it was to love him from a distance and go for months without hearing from him. How I loved him in the way he seemed to need when it was excruciatingly hard for me...but I did it out of love. I wonder if now he can really love me back. I need a sign that will leave no doubt...

Comment by Vasanthi S on June 27, 2013 at 6:16am

Thank you Mary,

Will try and get hold of both the books,hopefully can get them online.

"every little thing is going to be all right"...powerful and affirmative a statement. Thank you, will hang on to it.. Tk care all.

Comment by Vasanthi S on June 27, 2013 at 1:36am

Mary, I want to share what someone very close to me asked me to do in a different context but it works nevertheless. Just breathe deeply  for a little time, forget and drop the thoughts for just a while and feel the tension ease-- all is well , pls believe that and sleep..love to u and all here.

Comment by anne on June 26, 2013 at 7:22pm

The pain and exhaustion will gradually subside. Your body along with your heart has been through a traumatic experience, and the exhaustion is your body trying to heal itself. When your grieving, especially for your child the body breaks down also. Sometimes it can make you very physically ill. It will take a while for your body to start to function normal again.

Comment by Michelle H on June 26, 2013 at 10:34am

Marilyn, since my son Chris died, I have seen 2 seagulls fly over the backyard, one fly over a place I call my sanctuary (á small stream near a walking path in my subdivision), one fly past my car at Walmart (that one after asking Chris to let me see another one); I saw a turtle stopped on the path near my sanctuary. At home I heard flute music (no radio or tv was on) and the Notre Dame fight song (he graduated from ND); a clock play music weeks after I set it to NOT play music, and some other unusual and unexplained occurrences. I don't think these things are coincidences.

Comment by Teresa D. on June 25, 2013 at 7:43am

Mary we all want to be angry at someone.  Before my sons death I had no contact with my ex-husband and wanted none.  Funny thing is.. now I am his support.  Knowing the pain I feel I know his is greater. He didn't have the relationship I had with my Michael, and now he has to live with that.  While this may have been an opportunity to throw it all in his face....I couldn't. Instead I figured his pain has to be much greater than what I feel.  I know he loved his son and as mad as Michael got with him on occasions I know he loved his dad.  I've decided to let all that past pain go because in reality I have no room in my body for any other pain then what I'm feeling over losing my Michael.

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