Comment

Comment by anne on July 25, 2013 at 8:08pm

It is possible to crawl your way out of the dark, but it can be done. It's very difficult, and sometimes makes you want to give up, but the harder you dig to get yourself out the closer the light becomes to you! Sweet Karen, you are worth so much more than you know. You have touched many lives including mine.

Comment by Jane P on July 25, 2013 at 7:50pm

Marilyn, you're an inspiration!

Comment by Kar on July 25, 2013 at 9:19am

Thanks Teresa!    Hugs & strength to you all!

Comment by Teresa D. on July 25, 2013 at 8:40am

Karen I think your wrong.  I think you do have something to offer.  I'm grateful you started this site because I can come here and be among others that understand my grief. Personally I know none of you but I love all of you!

Comment by Kar on July 24, 2013 at 8:15pm

I relate to the drawing too Marilyn.  thanks for sharing it. 

Comment by Kar on July 24, 2013 at 8:12pm

Jane,   Yes- I started the group ... but, no thanks needed just hope you all find comfort & strength here.   I feel bad I do not come on very often anymore-   but, I think of all of you daily -

I am still really struggling ...  Just not sure I have much to offer.   

Comment by anne on July 24, 2013 at 1:43pm

Dear Teresa, a very intelligent man once told me that "Even the most educated therapist or Dr. can solve others problems better than their own", it's just how it works. You could be the most intelligent person on earth, but that doesn't prepare you for the loss of a child. As a social worker you are an angel to others, but you couldn't of prepared yourself for the death of your child. As for your mother, some people, even the closest one's to you can't deal with this kind of death. I know my mother is the opposite. She talks about it all the time, even though she didn't come to help me bury my son. After a few years of the death of my second son I finally had a talk with her. I gently said to her that I love her very much, but all the comments about the boys has to stop. I told her I couldn't take her going on and on about how God needed my children, and that their angels for God now, and so on, and so forth. She understood, but every once in a while she slips so I just change the subject. I can't go to my moms house because she has a shrine of my boys in her living room. I just can't handle that. I had to learn to comfort myself. I hope you don't have to resort to that. We are with you, and here for you!

Comment by Vasanthi S on July 24, 2013 at 11:30am

Teresa, 

this is too much for anyone to handle...the sources we look for for comfort strangely fail us and unexpected ones open up...wherever love comes from hang on to it and don't let it go... <3...love to all.. Marilyn, Ammy, Michelle, Jane, Mary, B Milt, Dick,.. all are in my thoughts always and always sending love so that we all cope...

Comment by Teresa D. on July 24, 2013 at 8:30am

My friends and family have been great in trying to support me.  But they tend to do the same thing as your friends Anne, the bring me their problems.  I am a social worker and people tend to see me as a strong person.  But this is even too much for me to emotionally handle.  This is the greatest pain I have ever felt in my life.  I just wish they would realize I'm not as strong as they give me credit for. 

My biggest problem has been my mother.  My father passed away suddenly in 2008 from cancer.  The very day he died my mother shut down in life.  I keep wanting motherly comfort from her and nothing.  She doesn't want me to talk about my son or even mention his name.  He was her first grandchild, they had a special relationship and while I know it hurts her, it is killing me.  I need my mom right now but she's not there. 

 

Comment by Teresa D. on July 24, 2013 at 8:18am

Marilyn, I bet a lot of us feel like that drawing. I know I do.

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