Comment

Comment by Michelle H on August 11, 2013 at 8:14pm

Chris, I am deeply sorry for the recent loss of your daughter. I hope you find some comfort in this group of caring people.

Comment by Chris M on August 11, 2013 at 8:01pm

I know. My daughter was also my best-my only-friend. We shopped, we ate, went to the movies, took cards to the coffee shop and played Rummy. The nightmares are all while awake.

Comment by Grace on August 11, 2013 at 6:53pm

When I had my first nightmares... it always was me leaving Niles at the hospital and him still lying in the ICU Bed... then I imagine the total Organ Harvest... them cutting his body to get the heart... the bone.... and so forth... then the other nightmare was of the actual cremation process.... I always said to my friends that have said "I can't Imagine what you are feeling".... I think to myself... if anyone knew what went through my brain.... then they would lock me up in a rubber room....  there is a Horror movie in my brain that is worse than any Anyone has ever seen in the movies... And there are times where I just can not even tell anyone ..... because it would never be anything the mind should even endure.....

Comment by Jane P on August 11, 2013 at 6:00pm

Nightmares

Mine come to me the second I wake up. They stay with me all day long. Every action I make reminds me of my daughter. The food I eat reminds me of my daughter. It is non stop for me. It is everywhere at all times. It's like wearing a "coat of grief".

Comment by Michelle H on August 11, 2013 at 5:57pm

Marilyn, you and your family are beautiful! (Don't put yourself down, please.) You all look so happy and it's easy to tell there is a lot of love in your family. I, too, like having a picture to go with the name. Brandon and your kids have been so lucky to have you for a mom. I know how hard this is. I wish none of us ever had to experience it.

Comment by Connie K on August 11, 2013 at 11:08am

You're right Marilyn it is the most horrible, awful thing. We can only take it on one moment at a time. I know (we all do) how you feel. There are those moments when the only thing that seems real is the fact that my son is not here with me...for the rest of my life. It is hard to fathom and I wonder, even with faith, how I can endure it. Loved seeing your picture and putting a face to your posts. Hang in there. (((( ))))

Comment by Vasanthi S on August 11, 2013 at 8:32am

Love the pic Marilyn, pls dont remove ur posts...hugsss

Comment by Michelle H on August 10, 2013 at 8:20pm

Marilyn, who are all the people in your lovely photo?

Comment by Teresa D. on August 10, 2013 at 8:04am

Grace that was like my dream of the kitchen floor swallowing my daughter.  I woke up so upset even though I knew it was a dream. 

I tried to negotiate with God more then once to give me Michael back. I do this while awake you just did it while asleep.

No one can take our children from us.  Yes they are gone physically but emotionally no one can take them from us. 

I will always be Michael's mom and I will never stop being his mom. 

Just as you will always be Niles' mom.

 

Ammy your encouraging.  Thank you! 

Comment by Vasanthi S on August 10, 2013 at 7:09am

Grace, thinking of you.. don't allow that dream.. and its just a silly dream ..to take away the good feeling u have about your son..hugsss

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