Comment

Comment by Connie K on September 2, 2013 at 5:36pm

Such a daily struggle. Why can't I be one of those people who turns tragedy into a positive. Creating foundations, speaking, finding their path. I am trying but feel so incapable of having the mojo to create a new life. When your only child disappears one day, everything we have worked for seems meaningless. We have given away scholarships in his name and helped many family members with financial needs and planted a garden for him at school to tend. I feel it's never enough. Now we have to redo our will and trust because we are going on vacation this week. husband is looking forward to it. I find it hard to look forward to anything. And what if both die on this trip?! We don't want things to go into probate so having to deal with that is difficult. All the things that are meaningful that we would have "passed down" are meaningless. Who even wants these things. It is forcing me to be more spiritual. I guess that something. But like you Vasanthi I just sometimes freak out that he's gone. Really gone. Forever. Altho I know his spirit lives on. Why can't I feel joy at that? I just feel broken beyond repair today. It hurts too much.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 2, 2013 at 11:29am

Marilyn.. that pic sums it up!thank god for all of you here-- i feel sane when i see you all... i don't feel so alone... everyday i ask ..where is he? where canhe just disappear? why ? why? why?

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 2, 2013 at 10:32am

just to wish everyone--love n lots of it-- its all too much:(

Comment by Teresa D. on September 2, 2013 at 8:31am

September is here and I'm sick to my stomach, I'm forgetting things again, can't stay focused, and I can't seem to control the tears and the fear.  Am I doing this to myself?  I don't know how I am going to put on the fake face I've been wearing. 

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 1, 2013 at 9:51am

its horrible! went to parlour and the lady who was waxing asked me, " do you have any children?", I said , " yes, one son" and tried to change the topic.. then she says " oh how nice, what is he doing?" I wanted to scream and say " how the hell do I know?" .. I just said," He is abroad, working"....then.. Oh so will u be going there?"!!!!!! God I lied through my teeth and said yeah soon  and then i closed my eyes-- thank god there were no more questions after that-- i feel sick:(

Comment by Teresa D. on September 1, 2013 at 8:37am

Thinking of you all!

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 1, 2013 at 1:13am

Marilyn, Connie, Teresa ((((((( )))))))))) to all ... 

Comment by Connie K on August 31, 2013 at 6:56pm

Today it will be 9 months at 8:20pm. I hate getting farther away from the last time I saw him. Judy - I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel - I just want my Daniel back too.

Comment by Teresa D. on August 31, 2013 at 7:09am

Judy, Marilyn, Anne and Vasanthi said what all of us would say to you.  We are all here to support each other and share our pain as well as our victories in this journey. 

Right after speaking to my Michael on the phone he passed away.  Not knowing it (who would expect) he laid on his apartment floor all weekend.  Because his body started to decompose they would not allow me anywhere near him.  I didn't get to touch him, see him or hold him.  He was just gone.

I was so mad at first they kept me away that night.  I wanted to let my baby know I was there.  Now that time has passed I am grateful they didn't let me see him that way.

Judy I am real sorry to see you join us but I'm also glad since it has to be that you found us. 

This group has helped me deal with this more then anything has.

Comment by anne on August 30, 2013 at 6:23pm

Dear Judy, Your pain, and grief are so raw, and so new. I am sad you have to join this group, but being on here saved my life. So you have taken a really good step in this horrific journey. Just know you are not alone. We don't all grieve the same, but we all have a lot in common, and we know your pain. Grieving is difficult in every aspect, so give yourself some time, and some TLC. Surviving is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know it's possible. Peace, and hugs to you!

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