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Comment by Vasanthi S on September 19, 2013 at 9:00pm

Judy. It is so distressing a time and combined with a partner who cannot understand it must be hellish-I'm hitting rock bottom again. and feel dismayed so often that at every step one needs to reevaluate and prioritize,and combined with the deep sorrow we all carry it is overwhelming... i don't know what to say or do even in my own life so just to tell you that you are not alone-there has to be some purpose to suffering in its various forms..am still trying to figure out why and what to do...you hang in there and come here and talk about it and it will help a lot. it makes it much more bearable,,love to all my friends here.

Comment by Grace on September 19, 2013 at 11:33am

I'm sorry you are overwhelmed Judy... I certainly know the feeling...my husband was the father for all of my kids and we still have a strained relationship... and I pretty much have written off the rest of my family including my mother who has said such hurtful things about my deceased 14 year old....Niles

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 18, 2013 at 10:41pm

You are all such a blessing..Marilyn thank you for showing me the second rainbow, it lifted my spirit and I am so grateful to you for taking the time to point it out,May God always bless you with all the love in the world...Jane thank you and Michelle for your thoughts.. i wake up and get here and read what all are saying and in the midst of heartache draw so much solace...Berna.I am with you, i can understand the frustration due to helplessness and pain we feel.. On Timothy's birthday will send him special loving thoughts and lots of hugs and kisses--poor babies they had to go so soon but they will never be alone--our love will be a sheath of love for them too...my heart goes out to all the sweet children we lost..seems so meaningless...but I love them and you all, all the more fiercely for that...

Comment by Bern on September 18, 2013 at 9:02pm

My son Timothy Milton Jr. Birthday is Saturday, September 21. He is 21 years old.

Comment by Jane P on September 18, 2013 at 8:45pm

Did you know that a rainbow happens when a ray of sunshine passes through billions of little raindrops?

Mother Nature at her best!

Comment by Michelle H on September 18, 2013 at 8:44pm

Jane, I apologize on behalf of those in my profession (I'm a counselor, not a social worker) for the unprofessional and uncaring attitude that you've been met with. I wonder if it's more of the same thing: people are uncomfortable with death. It's pretty upsetting, though, that even the grief group got cancelled. You deserve better.

Comment by Jane P on September 18, 2013 at 8:37pm

Yes Marilyn, you are a gift!!

Comment by Jane P on September 18, 2013 at 8:32pm

Since the loss of my daughter, I sought professional help. I met with a grief counsellor through our local funeral home, he fell asleep and forgot my appointment twice! Then I signed up for a group for bereaved parents, it has been cancelled. I have been feeling very desperate, so I hired a private therapist. She has a Masters in Social Work. I have met with her three times. Each time, I told her a "little bit" of my personal feelings. Each time, she came over, she brought a list of "other" therapists in case I wanted a choice. Each time I told her that I was happy with her, she finally sent me an email that said she did not feel she could offer the "intense" counselling that she thought I needed. SO SHE DUMPED ME!!!!

You've got to be chuckling by now!

So I now feel like someone is telling me to quit looking for someone to make me feel better.

I know I will always hurt, I know that.

But maybe I can make a difference in other's lives by giving my time to them.

I am going to do more volunteer work when I think I am strong enough to commit to more.

I have also put together a team for cancer fundraising. Again, in memory of Danielle.

I am trying to keep busy, so I don't go insane.

 

Comment by Jane P on September 18, 2013 at 8:15pm

I am now volunteering some of my time each Monday.

I work in a Food Bank Warehouse. We pack and sort donations that are then distributed to our county's food banks. It feels good. It really does. I devote my time in my daughter's memory. I think she would be pleased.

 

Comment by Jane P on September 18, 2013 at 8:10pm

I am so sorry for all our sadness and troubles in life.

In addition to the unbearable pain we live with each day.

There are so many "extras" that we must also take on.

But that's what makes us such loving and caring people.

Each day is so hard to get through.

But somehow we are........

xxoo

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