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Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 12:19pm

Where is everyone?:(

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 2:36am

Connie,

yes the sudden lightening of the heart when I heard about the dream, his friend's pottering about the house, I felt a sudden realization dawn that this is a definite communication and one of the best kind which is so soothing, it gave me so much of hope and I felt a strong love knowing he is being protective...lots happening now which I wouldn't have even dreamt of a year ago-- I had resigned myself to being alive since I breathe. and had resolved that in some way I should be of use to people here and not a burden, and when my time comes,I will escape with a sigh of relief ... Craig coming into my life has been an act of grace. Since i got divorced in 1998 I gave no thought to remarriage as I had to strive and see that my son and me were fine in all ways, emotionally as well as financially.. it all went so beautifully as I was blessed with an exceptionally kind, bright and good boy. ?the last 4 years before Micks passing , I used to thank god fervently for so much of grace shown to me.Then in 2011 Dec my world collapsed... now again I am amazed that I do look forward to being with another kind and loving soul.. the relationship is of course different but not different in essence. Craig being very sensitive, I feel protective and there seems to be a purpose , that I again have to care for and love another human being. I had asked that my life be of use and I am given an opportunity for that. So I thank God for keeping me fit to serve. It is through that , that I hope for deliverance. All my love to my dearest friends here.. you all mean so much to me and give me so much of strength.

Comment by Connie K on September 28, 2013 at 10:52pm

Vasanthi, what a wonderful story. I am so happy you received such a beautiful gift from your son and his friend. We still have a relationship with our children - just in a different way. I live for those moments. And I know how a visit from my son's best friend makes me feel like he is still here in a way. God bless evryone. Sat night at this time is always so tough...

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 28, 2013 at 2:05pm

Marilyn... hugssssssss .. xoxoxoxox wishing you  lots of love to keep u safe and happy

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 28, 2013 at 2:01pm

btw.. when Rinku was in Micks bedroom he saw the pic i keep there and said," oh he was wearing the same shirt in my dream... it was a broad striped red and white t shirt... coincidence or confirmation of sorts I wonder.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 28, 2013 at 1:29pm

One of Micky's childhood friends, Rinku (Mahendra) wrote this on his fb timeline..

"Micky : I am still wishing you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Because “You” coming to this life was a great gift for so many people that I would still celebrate it every year. And it is my way to say; I didn’t forget you, I miss you, I miss your jokes and I miss having you around. You are always on our minds; you will remain forever a part of us, of our memory, history, of who we really are with a legacy to learn from. Your qualities and the “Man” you lived to be will fill many posts and pages. My friend, your life was short yet beautiful and meaningful. miss u Bro "

I was so touched, he had so many many b'day wishes and yet I kept feeling so very very sad.I had promised to maintain quiet and peace within but I found myself fighting back tears  and the more I tried the worse it got.

In the evening, Rinku suddenly showed up... He was with me for about 4, 5 hours, reminiscing about his dear friend.. He said," Micks came to him twice in dreams. The first time he was laughing n kidding around and then asked him," why havent you gone to visit my mother?" Rinku said ," yes i know, its always on my mind , I will go"... then after a few days  another dream.. here Micks laughed again but he also then gave his 'I am annoyed laugh" which Rinku knows well and he then again asked," why have you not gone and met my mother? she is hurting and then he scolded his friend and said" If this had happened to you and I had not gone and met your mom how would you feel eh?" Rinku said he felt it like a whiplash and said " i will, i will, i will" and thats how he visited me this evening.

Nothing can express the gratitude i feel for Rinku's visit.. the entire evening was spend with him talking about Micks which is music to my ears and him sitting and fiddling on the computer trying to get me some apps for my old cell phn which I use-- they are micky's cell phns i keep...

this was my son's birthday gift to me-- a lighter heart by the end of the day, a promise that he knows how much I am hurting even when no one else around can fathom the depth of the pain...

Coming here and seeing this lovely b'day card for Micks and reading about all that everyone shares... it makes me say hang on, we really are not alone.. our children and dearly loved ones know how much we hurt and they are in so many tangible and intangible ways reaching out with the same love... be alert and open for it my dearest dearest friends here.. hugssssss and kisses to all here ... 

Dawn Opfer I am glad you met your mom and dad... any parting now hurts with 100 times the normal intensity I know, but now you can focus on being there for your husband and in laws? I pray that they extend all their love and support to you.. we need to be taken care of too and it hurts to sound so needy but we are, we are thirsting for some way to ease our path, someone to apply a balm to these raw wounds.. I am here for you all always.. just a small message away..xoxoxoxoxoxo

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 28, 2013 at 11:30am

wowwwwwwwwwwww Marilyn, and all here THANK YOU... oh god i am so touched.. have a story to share n need time to tell it so will  be back in a while and share... love u all , and thank you from the bottom of my heart

Comment by Connie K on September 27, 2013 at 8:21pm

Damn it! I want my son back. I guess this is the "angry" phase.
Another Friday night missing my son and all his friends descending upon me. Manwiches all around! What happened to my life?

Comment by Connie K on September 27, 2013 at 8:18pm

Comment by Connie Vaughan-Kaplan just now
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I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Vasanthi. You sound like you are a great Mom. Sending you love and prayers and the strength to celebrate your son's birth because as horrible as this grief is, having never had them is unthinkable.
We found that planning something on our son's birthday helped. My husband and my son's best friend got a tattoo that Daniel had. I am still "thinking" about mine! His birthday happened to be Easter which was even weirder because we could not find the strength to do a family gathering. I feel such a connection with you all and wish I could hug you in person.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 27, 2013 at 11:09am

hugsss to everyone-- u r all always in my heart.. take care all of you Connie i know what u mean-- tomorrow is my son's birthday and i have promised myself that i will spend the day in peace and quiet--

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