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Comment by Vasanthi S on September 30, 2013 at 11:22am

Teresa , we do need our privacy. It feels weird if just about anyone can peep in. I love that your daughter is so sensitive and is showing her love for you. I'm sure you will show her how she is cherished and at the same time how she must live her life as that will give you immense satisfaction.

Marilyn, all those signs mean so much,

its just something so intangible and deep and we are struggling to grasp it...

Michelle will get the book online and read it as as this point everything however small is a straw to clutch at and yes the brain after all is like a part of machine 'body' so it certainly isn't the answer to life.. it helps us analyse and then the heart has to take over.. love to all.

Comment by Michelle H on September 30, 2013 at 10:43am

I just want to connect with each of you at the beginning of a new week. It's hard not being able to respond to your many wonderful posts during the weekend, but am grateful that you do post a lot during the weekends. Vasanthi, I was so deeply moved and excited for you when you related your experience with Mick's friend and the dreams about your son wanting his friend to visit you. I have NO doubt that Micks really came to the friend to mildly chastise him for not being more attentive to you. How awesome, too, that Micks was wearing the shirt that was in your photograph. It must be real. And I'm glad that you experienced comfort and joy from the visit. You deserve to feel your son's presence and his ongoing love for you.

I cherish EACH of you here and pray for a lightening of your sadness and increased awareness of communications from your children. Marilyn, I read Hello From Heaven right after Chris died and it gave me increadible peace. I do believe all the experiences that people have had and have had  some that I know were from Chris. Love transcends time and space.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 30, 2013 at 7:44am

Comment by Teresa D. on September 30, 2013 at 6:21am

I* was away last week.  I needed to get away with ever5ything that has happened.  Michael's one year mark and then my cousin involved int he murder suicide.  I needed to breathe alone. 

I came back to my daughter telling me she is coming home.  I was shocked by this because she loves to travel and try new cultures.  I couldn't understand why the turn around until she told me this.....

She read my posts on here. She said she can't stay away knowing her mom is so sad.  She was bored so she started googling names and when she did mine this site came up and she could read the posts. 

I considered this my private place.  A place I could come and tell me inner thoughts.  Of course I'm sad that she leaves now that Michael is gone but at the same time I don't want her to give up her dreams to come and sit by her mom who is grieving.  She can't replace Michael.  I am going to try and talk to her today now that I know why she has been so sad and why she wants to come home.

I love that she loves me that much but at the same time I don't want to be responsibole for her not living her life.

How can I stop my posts from appearing when someone googles my name.  I guess I have to remove my last name to prevent further posts from coming up that way.

I have to get to work.  I need to catch up with everyone and I want to share my experience with everyone.  Also Jessy, my cousin, wants to come this weekend.  I tyhink she thinks I have answers for her, but you all know I don't.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 9:49pm

Marilyn, what are the names of the two books suggested to you? I would like to read them too. I got one on after death communication suggested on this site and all of Brian Weiss and others. It all reiterates that the leaving of the body is not THE END. Selfishly I wish that ok its not the end but is it the end here for those who leave and is there another kind of amnesia after that, like we don't remember anything when we are born so too when we die do we forget it all? I hope not and i feel not because otherwise we would not have received the 'contacts' made.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 9:45pm

Anne, you are one of the most inspiring people here. I am so glad you shared. It feels like we keep in touch with every post from all here. I know that prayers will not go answered so I am sure that you will feel the love Ben has for you and the contact and connection throughout your life in many small and big ways. I pray that we all can connect with our darlings through the joy we have been recipients of. 

Comment by anne on September 29, 2013 at 9:06pm

I am at the beginning of my month of anniversaries. I pray every night that this year will be different. That this year I will spend more time being grateful, and less time feeling sad. I never know how it all will go. I always brace myself, and think of how I'd like it to be, but I will accept whatever comes. I'm just too tired to fight this year, so I will just go with the flow. I bought a new phone yesterday. It has a slide show feature. I watched all 300 pictures. There it was. My last picture of my Ben in his brand new Army blues. The only time I saw him in the new uniform in person was the day I buried him. I didn't cry. I just looked at him and smiled!

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 1:17pm

I hope Dawn is having an ok time with her husband and in laws... Teresa, Jane,Berna, Anne, Michelle, Mary, Dawn  how are you all? please take care of yourselves.

Comment by Vasanthi S on September 29, 2013 at 1:11pm

Oh Marilyn, I am sure they know each other and are helping us in their own special way... it feels crackpot like to talk like this but thats how I feel.. I can imagine how you felt Marilyn..its bad enough recounting it to oneperson, imagine going through it again and again:( A professor of Mick's from his college heard about it yesterday and kept telling me how numb he felt. I ended up consoling him and I also felt drained after that, so I can imagine how you felt. Now take quiet time and just feel the strength of the love that Brandon has for you and you will soon smile.

Connie, my thoughts are with you and I think of all here who are struggling with so much and have to deal with so much and I feel the hurt and confusion this throws up and I pray that God , You are Almighty, I am no one to say Give strength and all but please please please shower your grace God otherwise we might as well lie down and die too.

Comment by Connie K on September 29, 2013 at 12:59pm

Vasanthi

 You give me hope. I feel the same as everything you said. I feel like others can express how I feel better than I can! This horrible grief we bear does come with it's learning experience, as it is supposed to. It is awesome when you get to the point of feeling the love of Spirit is REAL. We can't see it but yet we can in the faces of others we love. I am so happy you have found someone to share your life with and as good friend said who lost her husband a few years back,"we can still love with a broken heart." God sent you someone to help your heart stay open so you can receive those beautiful gifts from your son. I know they are watching over us. Otherwise I couldn't go on. Have a good day and try to keep that feeling you had when you heard about the dream, alive. OX

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