Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.
Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Comment
Some people are just plain ignorant. You can't take their ugly words to heart, because it can set you way back. It doesn't matter how the accident happened. It happened, and other people have no right to judge. My 12 year old son burned to death in a car that my oldest son was driving. Word around town was they wondered how I would punish him. a friend of mines daughter was killed in a car accident, and all I did was ask her father to go to her, and hug her and he told me that all I think about is my burned up kid in the cemetery. so you see people can be cruel. If it had happened to their child You can bet they wouldn't want anyone talking like that about their child. I try to ignore some of it, but there are times when I remember those nasty words, and they hurt. They always seem to come into my mind when i'm already down, and out. My father in law told me if I was a better mother my boys would still be alive, and although I know that's not true normally, when I'm down they repeat in my head, over, and over. There will always be ignorant people, but there are no ignorant humans here!
Dawn - that's horrible. I am so sorry you had to even find that message! I had a couple of comments by strangers in reference to the car accident my son was in that were hurtful and misinformed. So sorry.
DAWN-O .. what a terrible experience-- one of my 'best friends' , soon after I got the news was on the phone and I was rambling on about how Micks was always proud of me and for that I have to show strength blah blah and she said, " are you mad? this is the time to grieve", I said I must be mad then and put the phone down and haven't spoken to her since.. so I know how much another s insensitivity can hurt-- hugsss to you.
Anne, hugssss xoxoxo and to all here who are so much a part of my life .. lots of love.
Anne
Thank you
xxoo
Anne, HUGS!!!!
ok will change ... just initials? or we add some nickname ?
I think we can just change our names to our first name or initials. I changed mine because I never thought it wasn't secure unless you joined first.
But thanks for the heads up! Hugs to everyone
I too fall apart every once in a while. I think when my boys died falling apart is going to be a part of me I'll never get rid of. Although the falling down is less. and less, it still happens. I don't fall as far as I used to, but none the less I still fall. It's ok. It took me a while to get better control when I'm around other people because they really don't understand. Those who have not walked in my shoes no nothing of my pain. So I have learned to be in better control in front of others, but when i'm alone I let it all hang out. I yell, scream, cry, kick furniture, and whatever it takes to get it out without harming myself or anyone else. I have changed so much since my first boy died. I am a lot more private, and I write a lot. I am at a place now where I can talk about it, answer question, and shed a tear here and there. It takes a long time to get to this point. When I get asked questions I still tear up. What mother wouldn't ! I don't have any problem shedding a few tears when people want to ask me things about it. I am human, I have a heart, one that's been badly broken, but I think if I don't feel anything then I'm not living. I have to live. I want my children here, and in heaven to know that I loved them so much that I will work hard for all of them. Besides I know my boys, and I'm sure I'm doing the right thing. I think if I don't let my feelings out in one way or another I wouldn't be able to live. The bad feelings to me are like poison, and if I don't get them out I get sick, mentally, and physically. So I say let it out! In the beginning when I would fall, and it just happens there's no warning, I started to learn who really cared about me, and who was pretending. Hurt on top of hurt. The people who care about me are the one's who didn't talk or gossip when I had a melt down. The others I cut out of my life including my sisters. Everything changed when my child died, and then again when my second child died. I feel I have earned the right to shed a tear now and then, and if I need to have a melt down, well then so be it! You are all in my heart!
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