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Comment by Michelle H on October 8, 2013 at 9:49am

Teresa, I'm so sorry Jessy has to experience what you--we all--are experiencing. How could a friend of hers expect her to be over her child's being murdered by his own father so quickly? She'll NEVER be over it! Prayers for you and her!

Comment by Teresa D. on October 8, 2013 at 7:07am

The past year I didn't think I moved in my grief at all, but after seeing Jessy and spending time with Jessy I realize just how far I have come.

Nothing and nobody can ever take Michael out of my heart. I will continue to tell him I love him, I will continue to talk to him and I will think of him everyday. Nothing not even death can take that away from me.

I didn't really get the "you'll learn to manage the grief" in the beginning.  I couldn't see that happening, but now I get it.  I can't manage it yet but now I can at least understand it. 

Vasanthi you deserve what has come your way.  Craig's article was very touching.   

Connie my poor cousin has already learned others don't get it.  I tried to tell her to ignore the comments but she hasn't been able to.  One person wrote on her facebook about how she couldn't wait for Jessy to return to herself and how she wants her to be over this.  Jessy went off.  I had to explain to her they mean well but they don't understand this does not compare to any other loss and that none of us will ever be the same again.  I told her she should do the same thing you did....smile and walk away. 

Comment by Connie K on October 7, 2013 at 6:08pm

Lynn I know how hard it is. Somedays I wonder how am I supposed to do this again? This weekend we went to an event and I saw a friend of a friend. I was telling her that my singing group has a concert this weekend in Carmel CA and we are going for a long weekend. But that it is hard for me to travel and go about things as if they are normal. Being with others constantly in close quarters is difficult for me. I need time to grieve and cry everyday. When I told her it is hard to go away and to come home she just said "Oh, still?" Really? My 17 year old died only 8 months ago. What can you say to people who don't get it? I Just said "I'm sure it will be a lovely weekend. It was nice to see you." Then I excused myself. HUgs to all...

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 7, 2013 at 5:47pm

Well I made it through another day.  What a roller coaster ride.  I experienced every emotion today.  Just trying to get my car recall service done and getting an inspection sticker was difficult for me.  How do people work and go through the the early grief period?  I had my daughters so late in my life.  My oldest daughter died in august at 26 and I'm a month away from 63. It doesn't make sense.   

Comment by Connie K on October 7, 2013 at 5:42pm

Vasanthi, what a beautiful article Craig wrote. I think you two will help each other love life gain and be able to give each other the understanding you need, Congratulations. That's amazing that you met him on this site. Truly.

Comment by Michelle H on October 7, 2013 at 5:01pm

Vasanthi, I read Craig's blog and it was inspirational. What a kind, tender soul. I'm so glad that you two have connected! You, too, are amazing, intuitive, and kindhearted; I'm sure many good things are in store for you. Don't you think Shreyas had a hand in your meeting?

Comment by Karen R. on October 7, 2013 at 4:08pm

Just want to say hello to all and any new members who may have joined since my absence.

Comment by Karen R. on October 7, 2013 at 4:06pm

Hello to all, I haven't been on in  LONG time, at least a long time by my standards. I've been going through a phase where I've tried to convince myself that my son is perfectly 'fine' and that absolutely nothing happened to him, he's alive and well somewhere where we can't contact each other......so how could I be a part of a group such as this, sounds crazy, I know but I really tried because I was desperately out of control with my pain and anger, still, yes, even after all this time. I told myself that this group is for parents that lost their child and my experience was just a nightmare, my imagination ran wild but it wasn't a reality, so I just couldn't get on.  Well, it didn't work! I still can't accept it, I still hope that he will walk through the door and say "mom, hey, it's me., I'm home, let me tell you about the big mistake they made!", my heart will forever be broken. This is too much, I guess I'm learning to live with it.

Comment by Judy Edwards on October 7, 2013 at 1:26pm

Good afternoon to all hope you doing Ok. I'm just checking in so you know I'm still around.  Have the best day you can.

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 7, 2013 at 12:37pm

Connie, yes, it will be so lovely to see you all sometime in the near future, and to share with those who can truly understand this .of course we want our children, of course , oh god just wish that somehow we could.. its not at all a selfish wish, it is an agony we have to deal with and yet live intelligently! somehow!

Michelle, once I am there and settle down a bit, will email all those interested.. I met Craig here on this site. He had written something very beautiful about 'delayed grief reaction' as he was struggling with the pain of it all. I started talking to him and in about a week max, we knew we couldn't 'lose' each other. The entire getting to know process never felt strange or forced and having met on this site , I took it as a guidance to me.am sharing the link to Craig's article.. I'm sure all here can empathise

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/05/voices-of-experience-delaye...

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