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Comment by Bern on October 10, 2013 at 6:45am

Sometimes I just want to cry but have to stop crying.

My head hurts so bad, I can't bend over.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 10, 2013 at 5:52am

I thought I was doing so well. But the past two days I think I'm falling backwards.  Yesterday I just couldn't snap out of it.  No matter what I tried to tell myself I just couldn't get control of it.  Now I'm sitting here at 6:50am and already crying. 

Comment by Karen R. on October 9, 2013 at 10:06pm

Just checking in to say greetings to all!  My heart hurts with you all.

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 9, 2013 at 8:01pm

Judy, am with you, sending lots of love to you. Have been reading and want to say so many things and go blank when i get here. Just feel everyone's pain and it is overwhelming , yet I know how brave and courageous everyone is... love to all and wishing for peace in our hearts.

Comment by Judy Edwards on October 9, 2013 at 7:50pm

Hello my friend s it Judy Edwards. I went to my first grief conseling today. It been 5 months and 8 days since Matthew went to. Other place. I been told I'm grieving too hard to feel my son with me. I'm doing terrible this mont but our birthdays all start and run the the 29 of this month and run till the 22 of dec. then my first holidays with out my 32 year old baby. I went in a dark place this week were I felt nothing and wasn't aware of what was going on around me. I felt. As if I'm losing my mind. Then yesterday I had to go to a woman clinic. I almost went there again seeing all the pregnant woman.
I got home somehow took one of my anxiety meds and when they woke for dinner I thought it was today I was so confused. I'm not handling my son lose this month at all this month usually by this time I'm at least going thur the
Motion of some type of living. Not happing this month. I get my grand babies this weekend somehow I've got pull myself to a place so they dont c me in a bad shape. So pray for me to get thur this weekend. I no that we. All
Going thur pain but I believed the things people told me at first it would get better. No it's getting harder and I'm afraid of losing what sanity I have left. The lose of Matt is so I can't put in words the pain I'm I'm but it the worst thing I've ever had to get through.. Well I hope my computer works Tommorow because I had write. This on my smart phone cuz I couldn't get my pc to work today. I just hope I get through Tommorow again my mind seems to be slipping. So till tomorrow good night my friends

Comment by Michelle H on October 9, 2013 at 6:04pm

Merry, it's hard to believe it's been that long. I'm glad you were able to make it through the day and be in a different place than during those first few months. For some reason, I seem to be backsliding, but I guess that's just part of the process.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 9, 2013 at 5:49am

My daughter and I have been spending a lot of time together and I'm enjoying every second of it.  At times I feel saddened because of course I think of how Michael's not here to share it or for me to tell him about it.

Yesterday while talking to her without thinking I started to tell her I needed to call Michael to .......I stopped, realized what I just said and yes cried. 

Connie I'm going to do that because when I first read the post I wanted to respond to the girl but I didn't, instead I responded to Jessy.  This will be a nice way to put it out there without targeting certain comments. 

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 8, 2013 at 8:22pm

I went to meditation tonight it is the one thing that centers me. I need too do this on my own at home a few times a week. I am fighting my way through the sadness and clinging to good memories of Kyra

Comment by Connie K on October 8, 2013 at 3:57pm

Unfortunately you find out who your friends are - the ones who will be there waiting for you no matter how long it takes. Most folks can't fathom this grief because it is their worst fear. As long as we seem to be back to "normal" then they don't have to think about the reality of death. But is a reality of life so to those who can't "go there", sorry that's too bad. We can't deny our truth just to make others feel less uncomfortable. If your cousin's friend is important to her then maybe she can explain to her it doesn't work that way or share the poem about what to do and not to do. I did that with my best friend and she appreciated it. I do have to recommend a book once again that deals with this issue in such a beautiful and right on way. It's called "Tear Soup". It really helps people understand that we all grieve in our own time and our own way.

I am sending love to everyone here today

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 8, 2013 at 3:25pm

Teresa I feel so badly to hear about your cousin. Facebook can be a harsh place. We think all our friends will be kind to us but it does't seem to happen.

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