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Comment by Connie K on October 21, 2013 at 5:20pm

Dolly

ask your doc about Cymbalta. It's different from an antidepressant. It helps relieve pain as well. When I have panic attacks I try to breathe deeply and do some mediation techniques. If necessary I will take 1/2 of a xanax. Otherwise, the anti anxiety knock me out and make me feel even more emotional the next day! If you can walk a little, it will eventually increase your energy and help work off some anxiety. It is a constant battle and for me it requires being mindful all the time. It sucks but that's the way it is I guess.

Vasanthi - sorry about your old friend telling you to move on. They just CAN'T understand. And you know what - I hope they never have the chance too. Sometimes that is exactly what I say to people when they make off handed comments like that. "Well it is just so hard to explain. I hope you never are in the situation where you CAN understand."

I'm sorry to everyone going through this hell. Hugs to you all.

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 21, 2013 at 10:34am

Dolly, first meet the doctor and also tell him/her about your concern of putting on weight.. weight can be handled and when you feel better you wont think of weight and feel depressed.. and weight or no weight its how you feel that is important.. you are loved and U r adorable.. so do not start thinking about what problems you will face even before you meet the doc. Just go n meet first and then lets take it step by step.. Am with you all the way... hugssssss..pls pls pls go n take an appointment first.. if it doesnt work you can always drop it and we will think of something that works..love xoxoxoxoxo

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 21, 2013 at 9:07am

Dolly... please go to a doctor cos it feels so helpless to be unable to suggest something that actually works-- i wish i could hug you with all the painful things happening ,, physical /chemical issues can be handled well by a doctor so i wish you would go and start a treatment.. wish someone here knew what to so or suggest something for Dolly please.

yesterday went out n met friends whom i know for over 30 years since college.. that felt very soothing.. then went out with another friend in the evening as she lives near where we all met up.. n all i wanted to do was drive away.. she said now u just get on with ur life and forget the past... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... as if the past with shreyas was unpalatable... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 20, 2013 at 10:18pm

I'm going to forget about getting over anything and just focus on living with .. was thinking that our children would never have wished that any of us go through this !@@##$@, so we will not!

Read a beautiful verse by  Emily Brontë (1818-1848)

Though earth and moon were gone
And suns and universes ceased to be
And Thou wert left alone
Every Existence would exist in thee.

Dolly, what helped me when i feel panicky is to shift the focus very consciously.. and shift it to something higher than us.. maybe our child, or maybe get 'into' another persons needs or just be wit the thinking of anything you find uplifting... till its tried out , you won't know how much it helps.. so many here talk of meditation which is just being with oneself without wanting any change in whatever 'is'... please please do try cos the alternative is dwelling on the pain which is like some yawning void... thanks for the hugss on ur post, they made me feel so nice as does reading what all write.. Karen, Teresa, Lynn,Ammy, Michelle, and all others who are always in my thoughts...hugsss to all..wish i could personally hold each one close during our very painful times, I know how devastating this is for us but we really must get the better of it .

Comment by Ammy on October 20, 2013 at 9:50pm

(((Group Hug)))

Regretfully, I learned something new these past two months:
While we 'think' we are over the worst - our heart and mind can tell us quite the opposite.

 

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 19, 2013 at 9:10pm

I understand panic attacks Dolly.. I had so many when I was younger. After I had my kids I got a prescription for Zoloft and it made a big difference. I think when you are grieving like we are panic attacks and bad anxiety are common. Do you have any breathing exercises to help you calm down.

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 19, 2013 at 12:10pm

Sending love and peace to all my dearest friends here...

Comment by Karen R. on October 19, 2013 at 9:46am

Hello Grace, nice to hear from you again as well.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 19, 2013 at 8:30am

Grace nice to hear from you.  I'm in the same position with my mom, so I know how you feel.  Even though my mom has not been able to be there for me emotionally I am very lucky to have the great friends and family that I have.  They have all tried their best to be supportive and to let me know they are there.  They may not always say the right things but I know their intentions are good. 

Yesterday I spent the day with one of my friends who is more like a sister.  Helped her clean out her mom's things.  She has been holding on to them since she passed, which was 5 years ago.  I've known her and her family since 1976 so it was nice to walk down memory lane with her as we did this. 

This was good for us and I'm glad I did it with her.  We were able to do it with fond memories and lots of laughs instead of complete sadness.  It was nice to see her remember her mom with happiness instead of the usual tears.  I live for the day I can speak of Michael with happiness and not tears.  Just not there yet.

Try to have a peaceful weekend and know someone (me) is thinking of you and your children.  HUGS and Love to all.  Even those peeking in.

Comment by Ammy on October 18, 2013 at 7:35pm

Grace, it was good to see you here.  I actually thought of you the other day.  I had posted something about moms that take care of their children and it made me think of you also.  I pray you are able to find some moments of peace & comfort.

This life is just overwhelming at times, but, sadly, it's now our life.

Looks like a quiet day here on the wall.  Hope that is a good sign.

Thinking of you all and sending hugs.

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