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Comment by Teresa D. on October 30, 2013 at 5:43am

For a minute there I felt as though I was sliding backwards, now I'm just feeling emotionally drained. 

I'm not planning on a tattoo but I still agree with you Dick grief changes the way we think.

Comment by Vasanthi S on October 29, 2013 at 5:28pm

am with you all.. Anne I found what you said very courageous and agree,, it feels better somehow to just allow things to happen instead of resisting the present.. it is tough as many times I feel everything receding into some past and i do not want it to be PAST.. how i hate this , how i hate this ordeal.....

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 29, 2013 at 2:24pm

My daughter Kyra had a tree of life tattooed  on her left wrist.  The day of her memorial service her sister, brother and his wife had the exact tattoo put on their wrists.  They carry her legacy on. 

Comment by Connie K on October 29, 2013 at 11:35am

My son had a tatoo of the OHM sign on the inside of his wrist. On his birthday this year he was to be 18 and he and my husband had planned to go together and get a tattoo. My husband never had one or thought of having one! But on bis birthday he went and got the same tattoo as Daniel in the same place. Daniel's best friend did also. I wasn't ready and am designing something that will one day be on me. I think that is what is special about tattoos. The story or person it symbolizes. Go for it!

Yes Dick grief does change your thinking...

Hope everyone finds some peace today.

Comment by linda hernandez on October 29, 2013 at 6:35am

i am 57 yrs old and no it not a bad thought to have your child's name put on you as a memory i have my daughters name on the calf of my leg its of a bird in the heavens with a ribbon in its mouth and it says angel i have yet to get my sons name under her with the word David on it to me it helps the pain and its always be with you if this is a help i am glad i could be here for you.

Comment by Dick on October 29, 2013 at 6:26am

All my life, I thought tatoos were not for me and some young fad. Now I can't think of anything other than having my son's name tatooed on me. Am I nuts? I am almost 60! What am I thinking of? Grief has a funny way of changing your thinking.

Comment by anne on October 28, 2013 at 8:07pm

The holidays will come, and go. We don't have to celebrate them if it's not in our heart to do so. I carved a pumpkin this year because it felt right. When the kids were little we would have pumpkin carving parties every year. When lil Del died the parties stopped. We carved pumpkins but the party part of it was gone, and we all knew it. The girls are grown now, and Ben is also gone so pumpkin carving has never been the same. I enjoyed the fun of Halloween for many years, but it just doesn't have the spark it used to. I thought once my grandchildren got older the joy would return, but they moved away, and the real joy moved with them. My daughter has her own pumpkin carving party now at her home with her children, and I'm glad she now has the joy I once knew. I carved a pumpkin this year alone. I couldn't carve anything scary or death like, so I carved a happy faced Frankenstein. I never considered Halloween a holiday, but saw it as a day for fun for the children. I guess I'm happy to have the memories, but like other things after  my children died I am resigned to leave some of it as a memory. The real holidays are coming, and I will be working on gearing up for them. the magic of the holidays is not as magical as they once were, but maybe it's time for me to not expect too much from them, to enjoy the things that make me feel good, and to concentrate on the real reasons for them. I used to wish they would just rush by, and get it over with, and now I just roll with the flow. Not much else I can do. I hope for those of you who should know the truth about your childs death get it. Without it, it makes this grieving thing even harder. Here's to the truth, may you find it. Peace, and love to all.

Comment by Connie K on October 28, 2013 at 6:03pm

Bern and Dick, my heart and prayers go out to you on your children's birthdays. I just wish I had more I could do to take some of the pain away. And to have such horrific circumstances surrounding each death is heartbreaking. I also had to face the young man (age 19) who was driving and make the reckless choice to speed on a wet road and passed a car he was angry at ON THE SHOULDER. Only the shoulder ran out.

He lied about it for months but there were witnesses he didn't know about. It was only because WE asked the judge to reduce his felony charge to a misdemeanor because We didn't want him to go to jail (now I sometimes regret our decision) buthe did finally stand up in court, turn to us and apologize. Finally. And I did the same thing , I went over higged him and said I forgave him just like Ann said. Because I do not want to carry the burden on top of the grief. He will pay for his mistakes and did get his share of punishment from the judge. So Bern I pray that one day you can find some peace surrounding your son's death. I hope the truth prevails and if someone is responsible, that justice is brought to them. For sure, they will have to face God some day and that reality is a lot longer than this life. Oh God I am just so sorry to all of you.

Lynn, your daughter is beautiful. Daniel loved Halloween too but we will not stay home this year to celebrate. We always had a big party and etc etc. Just too hard right now. These "first" holidays are truly hard. He died on Dec 1, 2012 and that date is fast approaching and with each approaching day the knot in my stomach gets tighter and tighter. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.

Comment by Karen R. on October 28, 2013 at 1:52pm

Lynn, thanks for sharing your photos, I hope you'll be able to celebrate one of her favorite holidays.

Comment by Lynn Williams on October 28, 2013 at 10:46am

One of my daughter's favorite holiday's is Halloween.  Every year after college she would have a costume dance party on the weekend before Holloween, wherever she was. I now have a horrible cold and every time I cry which is now happening my head feels like it will explode.  Her is a picture of her the morning before she died at the farmers market in Montana 8/17/2013.

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