Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 451
Latest Activity: Nov 3, 2022

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 467 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 182 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

Do you ever feel like your pain from the sadness of losing your child, only intensifies as times goes by? 163 Replies

Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 49 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

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Comment by Ammy on November 5, 2013 at 7:54pm

Hugs to all.  I have just tried to catch up with the posts and all I can say is that I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for us all.  Reading your posts  hurts me and I am surprised that I can feel that pain for you all when I am in pain myself.  I just get it all.  I can so relate to much of what each of you are going through and feeling.  I do believe that what we have gone through does make us more compassionate toward others.  Even when they are not toward us.

I just had my second cataract surgery last Wednesday and I can see much better except for the computer screen.  I still need glasses for it and am not sure what strength so I have a hard time right now reading on the computer.  I found an old pair of reading glasses that are helping some, but not enough to be reading for very long. 

My heart is with each one of you, along with my prayers. I care about you all.   

Comment by anne on November 5, 2013 at 6:39pm

sometimes the loss of our beloved animals is very traumatic. I lost my favorite dog a few years after my first son died. Sometimes when I'm driving I still think about her, and cry.

Comment by anne on November 5, 2013 at 6:31pm

Dear Karen, There's no way that you can just pick up, and move on. Maybe your mom just cant stand to see you in such pain because you are her daughter. Family is not exempt from the ignorant things they say to us. I had to distance myself from my mom because I heard the same things. We are here for you, and you can cry, and vent all you want. I'm sorry, but nobody chooses to be sad in pics or otherwise. You are not looking for attention, your looking for love and comfort, and there's nothing wrong with that. No one has the right to tell you how to grieve including your mom.  Sometimes walking away is your best defense. This journey takes a long time to get to a point where you can breathe again. My mom lost my sister when she was 16 months old, and I would never go to her anymore for advice or comfort because she hurts me so bad. You would think my mom would understand because she has been down this road, but I feel like it gives her pleasure to hurt me. I love her very much, but I cant confide in her anymore. I'm ok with that. She was never there for me when I was growing up so I just don't expect much from here any more. We all need to go through this process, and none of it is easy, but I just don't expose myself to my family any more because it's just to painfull. Peace, and understanding to you!

Comment by anne on November 5, 2013 at 6:31pm

Dear Karen, There's no way that you can just pick up, and move on. Maybe your mom just cant stand to see you in such pain because you are her daughter. Family is not exempt from the ignorant things they say to us. I had to distance myself from my mom because I heard the same things. We are here for you, and you can cry, and vent all you want. I'm sorry, but nobody chooses to be sad in pics or otherwise. You are not looking for attention, your looking for love and comfort, and there's nothing wrong with that. No one has the right to tell you how to grieve including your mom.  Sometimes walking away is your best defense. This journey takes a long time to get to a point where you can breathe again. My mom lost my sister when she was 16 months old, and I would never go to her anymore for advice or comfort because she hurts me so bad. You would think my mom would understand because she has been down this road, but I feel like it gives her pleasure to hurt me. I love her very much, but I cant confide in her anymore. I'm ok with that. She was never there for me when I was growing up so I just don't expect much from here any more. We all need to go through this process, and none of it is easy, but I just don't expose myself to my family any more because it's just to painfull. Peace, and understanding to you!

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 5, 2013 at 6:04pm

yeahhh Dolly,  better to look what we feel than try n fake it n please ANYONE

Comment by Connie K on November 5, 2013 at 5:40pm

Judy

I am so sorry fr your loss. I know exactly how that feels. Last year I lost my 13 yearold kitty Monkey boy and the year before that my best dog ever who was also 13. They were best friends. Those were heartbreaking losses. Vasanthi is so right. Love is Love. No matter, where or who it comes from. I just believe that we come from somewhere and fhere we return. I bet your pup is playing with your son right now. Now your son can run and play with him without physical restrictions or pain. It is so hard for those of us left behind to continue learning our lessons.

I was just thinking yesterday that only a short time ago, we were all here, happy family of one child, 2 dogs, 4 cats my husband and I. We are both 55 and my husband lost his best friend about 6 years ago. At that time my son was only 12 and he said "Those people who have passed don't want to be mourned, they want to be celebrated. So with those wise words from my 12 year old, I try to get up each day and celebrate the fact that I was lucky enough to have them all. I want them back and am in despair most of the time. But I try to keep these thoughts present in my mind and truly try to believe. I know all this doesn't make the pain any less, just sheds perspective that this physical world is not all there is.

As we get older (or not) that is the way of life. Death is part of it. I like to think of death as just a short part of our journey and that our children are experiencing something wonderful now as they continue their REAL journey. I can only hope and pray for that. My husband made the comment that it seems like the older we get, that the people we are losing is increasing in number like it is raining.

You have had more than your share of loss and grief and I am so sorry. Hang in there. We are all here for you.

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 5, 2013 at 4:26pm

Dear Judy,

My heart goes out to you.. how awful to lose a pet too..love is love and we cant quantify it , be it for a human or for an animal.. they are also angels who come and light up our lives and we learn so much from just loving them.. I pray that you will get the strength and you have us all here in your time of intense grief.. am with you.. do maintain peace within , in yourself and you will find the peace outside too.. xoxoxo hugsss

Comment by Judy Edwards on November 5, 2013 at 3:56pm

Hello to all.  The 1st of Nov. marked my 6 month of losing my precious

son /Matthew.  I ache in every bone in my body from this pain.  The yesterday 6 months and 3 days from losing my only child  my animal her name was Kaylee I had her since she was 3 days old pass away also.  She was 13 years old but that pain and the pain of my son lose has be spinning.  
I feel out of control I feel I'm losing my mind there seems to be death all around me.  I know some may think that I am stupid about the lose of a animal and how it is  effecting  me in such a way as if she was another human no but she was my best friend.   So my son loss and hers have started the immense pain I felt when I first lost Matthew.

all over again. 

 I'm   sick to my stomach and the pain in my gut is real pain.  I know that a human lose is the worst pain you can feel I know because as you all know I lost a son. I don't know maybe I shouldn't wrote this but i have no one to talk to...  My partner is tired of my grief my dad passed in 2011 Then my son in 2013 May 1st, now the only animal I every owned this long.  The tears I wept since 2011-2013 then yesterday as I laid her  in my arms to get her ready for us to bury.  The tears I could of filled a lake and a Hugh one at that since 2011-now.  I miss my son so bad that there is no words I can put to how much I miss him for he was my best friend {human}  So when you lose both your best friend in this world were do you turn.  

  I'm in a dark pit and I can't get out of it seems all is going ok them wosh I get pushed back again.  Losing my father I knew was going to happen so I prepared my self as best you can of losing a parent.  My son there was no preparing myself I talk to him on Monday nite and Tuesday afternoon he fell in a coma and never recovered we lost Wednesday afternoon.  Then Kaylee  l knew she was acting strange a couple of days ago and had a appointment for yesterday but she didn't make till then.  So I've lost the only parent whom acted as such. Then my son and the ruled his death as accidental which leave me at what was it his temp of 110 the blood on his brain, the pneumonia he had.  His hepatitis or perhaps the drugs  in his system.

So you see I'm lost today and in a major all but as .  I'm sorry to spell my guts to  all but as I stated earlier I have no one for support except you Around my partner I have to hide it he tired of my tears he tired of seeing me in a rolled up ball unable to move.  I hurt everyday but seems around the 28th of each month till the 10 of the next I'm a walking zombie.   Thank for letting me share hugs to all Judy

Comment by Jane P on November 5, 2013 at 9:37am

"The case of a parent losing a child is very special because the most deep-seated protective and nurturant emotions are brutalized. Because this 'injury' is so severe to such primitive emotional processes, the grieving parent is likely to feel and express the pain associated with it for the rest of his or her life."

 

~Dr Joanne Cacciatore

 

Comment by Grace on November 5, 2013 at 5:59am

So Sorry to Karen and everyone here....this is the month of finding things to be thankful for... it is day 5 and I'm still thinking....  In mid August a girl came to stay with her 4 year old daughter... she is going to go home because she is homesick.... I am finding myself wanting her to just go soon.   I really am surprised that I have fallen for the little girl... I was so worried to have a little one in the house...listening to cartoons that my Niles used to love.... but I have done ok... better than I feared.  I am worried for this little one. her mom is a kid trying to raise a kid and there is just no stability for the child.  Anyway, I am so disappointed that the Mom has not been able to use this opportunity to improve her life for her child.  FRUSTRATED!

Maybe I am even more sensitive  now in my life?

 

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