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Comment by Teresa D. on November 14, 2013 at 6:09am

The candle lighting...thank you for making me aware. 

Comment by Teresa D. on November 14, 2013 at 6:07am

Brenda, I know what is in my head it is just hard to put it on paper.  Your right I need to let my heart flow.

Dolly I want to support you and tell you to write that article for the newsletter, but who am I to tell you and I can't do it.

I write, I cry, I delete.

Michael was extremely hyper from the moment he was born.  Back in 1983 no one said the letters "ADHD".  A snap shot into Michael: Right before Michael turned 2 they came out with the little BMX bike.  It was so cute, little two wheeler with training wheels.  He loved the bike.  So now his birthday came and he turned 2 and then the Spring came.  I took Michael outside to teach him how to ride his bike.  He got on it went about 2 houses, got off the bike, walked it back to the house and told me something was wrong with the bike.  He went in the house came out with his dad's tools and removed the training wheels.  He then started to get on the bike.  Knowing he never rode a two wheeler bike I got up to try and teach him to ride it.  Before I reached him he jumped on the bike and flew down the street.  At first I was amazed but then concerned because he was heading right towards a stone wall at the end of the block.  Then I thought OH NO he doesn't know how to stop!  Well......Michael crashed right into that wall. Got back on the bike rode it back up the street and said, "Did you see that? Watch me do it again."  Michael may have only been 2 but this was a typical day with Michael.  Before he was 2 he climbed up on a 2 floor roof.  Now mind you this was before cell phones so here I am in the yard with my 2 year old on a roof that I can't get up to.  After that one my greenhouse had to be torn down, he was using it as a ladder.  I could go on forever with the crazy things Michael did growing up. 

Ok I made myself emotional now.

Comment by Connie K on November 13, 2013 at 6:56pm

That will be perfect Dawn-o. A lot of people just do their own lighting.

I am going to share the info I received in my newsletter below:

"Held annually the 2nd Sunday in December, TCF's Worldwide Candle Lighting unite family and friends around the globe as they light candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have dies too soon (that their light will always shine). As candles are lit at 7pm local time, thousands honor children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries. Believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, The Worldwide Candle Lighting creates a virtual 24-hr wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of candle formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten. For more information, check out the website at www.compassionatefriends.org". I love this.

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 13, 2013 at 10:38am

Jane.. Happy birthday to you, sending hugs and kindness. 

Comment by Michelle H on November 13, 2013 at 9:35am

Jane, I wish you a peace-filled birthday and a special message from Danielle, if possible.

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 13, 2013 at 9:10am

Comment by Jane P on November 13, 2013 at 8:11am

How is everyone doing today?

Comment by Jane P on November 13, 2013 at 8:10am

For those with an opportunity to write about their child, and knowing how very sad it is to do this, I wish you the best in your writing. I would love to read your writings.

Today is the first time I will spend my birthday without my child.

No one else ever remembers my birthday. Danielle was always the one to make sure my birthday was special.

I am going to lunch with 3 girlfriends instead.

And then I will come home to cry................

Birthdays are no longer special for me. It's just another empty day for me.

I guess one could say these special days are no longer part of my "new life".

Comment by Brenda Ann on November 13, 2013 at 7:05am

Teresa, as I was reading your comment about putting into words reasons why you want to do this tournament it struck me how difficult that would be for any of us. When did Michael begin to like hockey? What drew him to love the game? How do you feel the game helped Michael? How will the tournament help others?

It would be impossible to put into words the value of his entire life on a single piece of paper but maybe just one facet of his life is a good place to start.

Writing can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

So open your heart and let it out. . .

Brenda

Comment by Teresa D. on November 13, 2013 at 5:53am

Michelle, I've done that. 

Lynn I want my old life back too.

I have to write a one pager telling people who Michael was and why I want to do the tournament.  The thoughts are in my head I just can't get them out on paper.  It's a hard thing to do.  I get as far as the first line and then hit delete.  I don't want it to be "sad" and I can't tell his whole life story, which I keep trying to do. 

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