Comment

Comment by Michelle H on November 18, 2013 at 8:46pm

I agree with Lynn, Vasanthi, you are amazing. Your words cut right to the soul and they are beautiful! I hope we can meet someday in the future.

Lynn, I haven't written down my dreams recently. I think I've only done that a couple of times in my life. Some of my dreams since Chris died have been so bizarre...I'm not sure I'd want to remember them. LOL.

Jane, I had the same problem with my feelings when my mother died 3 days before my 13th birthday. Actually, most of my life. My father was the kind of person who wasn't comfortable with feelings, at least nothing but anger (his). I'm a therapist, but knowing and being able to do are different things sometimes. I often wish that I were able to feel more. But I've always numbed out with food...a lifetime battle.

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 18, 2013 at 8:40pm

Vasanthi
You are an amazing healer, your words are so soothing and comforting. Thank you so much for being here for all of us. I can't remember my dreams at all, maybe in time I will. Michelle
Do you write down your dreams when you wake up.

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 18, 2013 at 7:53pm

Jane, the reason you are OK when you are out of the house is because you are forced to deal with the 'present'..once back the mind goes to its usual haunts and dwells on the sorrow.. I see a clue here for you to slowly take charge. I think that if you can everyday in between decide that ,'Ok for the next 10 minutes, I will wash the dishes and do it fully, feel the warm water, take out the grease etc and I will not allow my mind to go anywhere else but will gently get it back to the task at hand" ..slowly by broadening this kind of thing everyday maybe there will be more moments of quiet.. and try not to resist the present.. I know only too well how difficult that is and how sorrow wells up in the heart but sweetheart do try...

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 18, 2013 at 7:47pm

Michelle, Connie,

dreams can have many different interpretations but its best to go with the most sensible explanations.. whatever is playing on your mind , foremost is most likely to be expressed in dreams.. it is nature's pressure release, a pressure valve...so Michelle, it is not necessary that you are cut off from expressing grief while awake that it comes.. it could be that you are continuing to express that grief and since the mind is more relaxed in sleep there is a free reign to the expressions. Sometimes its wish fulfillment.. maybe when we yearn to meet a dearly loved one and in the waking state we know we are not able to, then in the dream state there is some relief.. some people feel they have left many things unsaid and deeply wish they could tell their loved ones how much they continue to care and so in the dream you meet a loved one and tell them what was left unsaid.... some dreams may be actual contact with a loved one.. you know it is so by the feeling of immediacy and concreteness.. such dreams will not be disjointed but rather will flow and will not be populated by other people by and large in that dream..anger , sorrow, joy, grief are all finally expressions of love. its a pity that we all have to hover between states and yearn , perchance to learn?

Comment by Jane P on November 18, 2013 at 6:57pm

Michelle

I never dream but I also have no feelings. I have not had any since Danielle left.

Connie

Yes, we are very similar. Even the kid's names. You have Daniel and I have Danielle.

I try to keep myself going but then I crash. I have to stop everything until it passes. It can go on for days. I try to think of myself as being "sick" and lay down all day and night.

When I'm out of the house to do my volunteer work, I'm ok. But as soon as I come home to the emptiness, I feel hopeless once again.

 

Comment by anne on November 18, 2013 at 6:40pm

I am so sad for you Adrianne. You are so right. That is horrific, but not your fault. Things just happen. Sometimes they happen so fast. My heart is very sad for you, and your family. Peace, and Love to you, and yours

Comment by Michelle H on November 18, 2013 at 12:24pm

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I seem to do a lot of my grieving in dreams while I'm asleep. I wonder if this is because I'm so cut off from my feelings while I'm awake?

Comment by Grace on November 17, 2013 at 9:08pm

<3 PEACE <3

Comment by Jane P on November 17, 2013 at 7:38pm

Things are not the same.
There is no joy.
I seem to be facing my reality
I have noticed it coming for a while now
On dec 2 it will be one full year
And I am just now starting to face what has happened
I have cried every day for 8 years now
How can I have any tears left
So this is it?
This is what I've been left with?
A life of pain and sadness

Comment by Jane P on November 17, 2013 at 6:17pm

Vasanthi
I wish for the same....

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