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Comment by Grace on November 24, 2013 at 6:16pm

I'dlike to send a FB link with a video of some concert video that my daughter made with her cell phone...but I am not too good at that Tech stuff.... but we had a good time jamming with a Piano man and a Harp player to "Piano Man" by billy Joel....  I agree Dolly... I was talking about that last night at the concert...how the contacts I make with "Special" People are very inspired and encouraging to me.... the Piano man playing with us last night also wrote very inspirational music....  so unfortunately our concert was not a full house...but hoping next one will be better.    Maybe if I could connect her via Facebook... I could share video....but I'll need help/

Comment by Jane P on November 24, 2013 at 12:15pm

Dolly, Adorable Picture of Bo! That's quite the ATV!!

Thanks for the beautiful picture and your thoughts. We are just beginning to see the snow falling here!

Grace, I would love to see a video, also.

Comment by Teresa D. on November 24, 2013 at 10:40am

The resting bench was a beautiful idea. 

Grace, do you have any pictures from the concert or better yet a video clip? 

 

 

Comment by Jane P on November 24, 2013 at 9:30am

During the last 2 years of Danielle's life, she had become so disabled, we had to use a wheelchair for her.  We also had a lift and other equipment.

During that time, we both came to realize how tough it is to be disabled.

And both of us gained an "understanding."

We have beautiful hiking trails in our local forest. This spring they are building a trail for the handicapped!!! It will run beside a local donkey sanctuary. I have been there, it's so beautiful.

I am not celebrating Christmas this year, so my husband and I decided in lieu of gifts, we wanted to do something special in memory of Danielle.

So we have donated a resting bench for the new wheelchair accessible trail! Danielle would be so proud.

We hope it makes a difference in someone's life as they sit and watch the donkey farm, and beautiful Mother Nature.

Comment by Jane P on November 24, 2013 at 9:15am

Dear Grace

Your concert post is so touching. What a beautiful moment it all must have been, especially "the family" coming together for this. That must have been the BEST feeling you could have. GOOD FOR YOU!!

 

Comment by Grace on November 24, 2013 at 2:38am

PEACE everyone,  The concert was attended mostly by my VIP Guests of Special Needs folks.  I was hoping for a fuller house, and more donations.... but I was happy to bring a show to the people who are who my mission for the Niles Benefit Fund Serves.... There was a small Profit... and Encouragement that the Holiday Concert may be better attended.  Another good thing is that all Of Our Family participated to do this Concert in Memory of Niles.  My Son ran the Sound and My daughter and her boyfriend the Lights .... So many wonderful volunteers.  PEACE be with us all...

Comment by anne on November 23, 2013 at 4:20pm

Dear Ammy,

I wish I would've seen your post before I wrote mine! Thank you! Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 23, 2013 at 4:08pm

Dolly have a wonderful visit your oldest son. We are all loved by a higher spirit. His love is non-judgemental and inclusive. If I live my life bringing kindness and compassion to others, I have lived a good life and that is what is important. Everyone has to follow their own path on this earth. In the end all that matters is how we treated others and not what we said to them.

Comment by anne on November 23, 2013 at 4:07pm

You all need to take it easy. Angry comments have never done  anything for anyone. This site is for all who are grieving. You don't have to agree with all comments, but getting angry at each other is not necessary either. Dennis gave his opinion. The question was asked on an open forum. Losing a child is the worst of the worst when it comes to death, but it is not an excuse to lessen someone else's pain. You may not see that now, but someday I hope you will. No one is perfect. We don't always say things the way we should, but hopefully they are said with good intentions. Personally I didn't like that piece of scripture myself, but I decide what's in my heart. Dennis has helped me before, so I think he was just trying to help. I know I have said words that I thought would help, and I felt some anger from those who disagreed with me. Sometimes you just gotta let it go. The last thing any of us needs is anger pointed at us. I am not a church goer either, and I have my reasons. I have never read the whole bible, but I do find things in the bible that have helped me on this journey. We are here to help, and comfort each other, not tear each other down. I know your hearts are raw with pain, and sorrow, and I understand the fact that if you have never buried your child you couldn't possibly understand the feelings, and everything else that goes with it. I also know from my own experience that getting up tight about scriptures, and other things like it served no purpose for me, and only added to my pain. It's ok to agree to disagree without hostility, and anger. Funny how a person can feel the negative without even being face to face. We are all here for each other let's not forget the purpose for this site. I care about all of you. I wish I could reach out, and take away all of your pain. Since that's not reality I do try to help by sharing my experiences. I've been on this journey for a long time. I've been through a lot since my first little boy was killed. I found this site after my second child was killed, and that was after almost 2 years of him bomb hunting on the front lines in Iraq, so there's a lot more to people than what they post on this site. I choose give people the benefit of the doubt, and yes I do get emotional, and I do get worked up, but that comes with the territory. I liked coming here because I felt safe, and I could use my blog as a way to vent, and let out the ugly I felt. I come to read about others who have had huge losses so I don't feel all alone. I have to keep an open mind, it's part of my survival. I have had a lot of experience with religion, but I have learned to let my heart lead me to God. There's no wrong way to believe if it feels good in my heart. Thanksgiving is coming, and I'm thankful for all of you here now, and in the past. Peace to all

Comment by Ammy on November 23, 2013 at 3:26pm

Wow, I am surprised at the hostility here.

Each of us has the right to believe how they wish.  I don't think Dennis was judging.  I believe he was trying to share what he believes.  As I recall, some of you were questioning about mediums when the subject first came up.  Maybe he was just showing you his thoughts. 

I wanted to jump in myself when this topic first came up but I know how hard it is, especially in the first year of grief to accept anything other than what we feel inside.

I could say a lot about mediums and how they started in this country but I can't change your hearts.  I believe only God can do that. If that is what you want.  I can only grieve with you, love you, and pray for you.

I have been quiet on here lately because to me it seems to be a little cliquish around here.  No one  here invented grief and no one's grief is worse than anyone else's.  We are all hurting.  Some just choose to not express it as much as others.

Hopefully things will calm down.  I know the upcoming holidays bring on added stress and sometimes the anxiety is overwhelming.  

This is not intended for any one person on here, just a reminder that this site is filled with grievers and even though we feel we have lost the worse kind of loss doesn't mean everyone else's grief is not worth respecting.  

I was going to just post what is below but my heart wouldn't let me.  I pray you all have some comfort, peace, and love this weekend and during the coming holiday.

“Silence is sometimes the best answer.”
From an early age, we’ve all been taught the importance of problem solving. Yet, sometimes, we can help people more by not trying to find solutions. In fact, on occasion, silent listening and empathy can be a priceless gift.
Families who are grieving the loss of a loved one, need time to mourn, not quick solutions. They need someone to listen while they pour out their hearts; they want a silent hug, not instant answers.
I've been silent, but know that I'm listening and hugging you all in my heart.

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