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Comment by Connie K on December 8, 2013 at 11:23am

Anne I am so sorry for your family made you feel so bad. They really just do not get it! It hurts that they don't.. Maybe you could write your sister expressing how sorry you are for her loss and then use it as an opportunity to finally explain YOUR loss and how devastating it has been to you. I don't know you family dynamics but I do pray that you find some peace wit then somehow for your sake. I hate that your are hurting even more. But we are always be for you at least to talk to

Comment by Grace on December 8, 2013 at 11:06am

yes... you will always replay that day over and over again.... thinking If Only.... could have should have would have

Comment by Ammy on December 8, 2013 at 11:05am

Teresa, thank you for the loving thoughts.  I too have my candles ready for tonight.  I don't have a meeting close to where I am or I would go, but I do the lighting.  

 

Comment by Ammy on December 8, 2013 at 11:02am

Yesterday seems like it was a day of constant reflection.  Sadness and tears; a sort of cleansing.  It's so hard when going through it, but it does help me to get it out.

Dolly, I often think why didn't I know; why didn't I see something.  As Dawn said, 'it's not our fault'.  I think somewhere deep inside us we think we could have prevented it if only......  In moments of clarity, I know/believe there is nothing I could have done.  But that comes from my faith.  The mom in me thinks differently at times.  It's just not easy.

Warm hugs everyone.  

Comment by Grace on December 8, 2013 at 10:38am

PEACE Teresa and everyone..... PEACE....

Comment by Vasanthi S on December 8, 2013 at 10:38am

Thank you Teresa.. I am so touched.

Comment by Teresa D. on December 8, 2013 at 10:36am

My candle today has 3 wicks; one for Michael, one for my fiancé best friend and the 3rd one is for all of your children. Today I am thinking of each and everyone one of you and your kids.  They will forever burn in our hearts.   

Comment by Mikad on December 8, 2013 at 9:37am

I had a breakdown on Friday . I went to my son C , after work closed. I got to his home and his Fiance told me that he has been by his brother and sisters grave since 4pm. I got to his home at 5.30pm. When he got back home, I could see the heartache in his eyes. It broke me to pieces and I was busy saying something in a sentence and I just broke down and howled like a baby. This grief is like a vulture . It picks at your very soul at random without asking . Today is a cold wet day by us ... I so wish the sun will shine. Im alone in the home and I feel like I have cabin fever. I so wish this whole Christmas period is over , not that it helps much . During Christmas the pain intensifies , and by the 25 Dec , all I want to do is go and sit by my children . My mind keeps on going back to the last December I saw my son , he had decided to leave on Christmas day and travel through to his destination. He came around to me , and sat with me a while. I knew he was in a hurry so I didnt keep him. NOW, I wish I could turn back time .. I would have made him stay longer and of course , tell him how much I loved him . My children never had much of a father. Yes hes around , but he never gave my children the chance to get close to him . I think now , he must regret that so . I pity him . I have to hate towards him or his new wife. Just pity .

My thoughts are with you all who are here. We are all in the same boat just sharing our grief and trying to find comfort. I have recently realized that I cannot open FBook much . Everything irritates me.

I need sleep / I find myself going to bed earlier more and more. Not much to do once Ive had a shower and eaten.

Take care all ... ((hugs))

Comment by Grace on December 8, 2013 at 9:31am

WOW Anne I read your rant and was ranting right along with you.... I agree with what many have said...Lynn, I too have not had much family support... and Teresa is right, I am sure we were once in the group of "Them" saying all the dumb ass things... I have lost plenty of pets... and I miss them and they all are special... I lost a husband when I was 21.... I lost my Dad... after I lost my son that was 14 and had Autism.... My sister lost an infant yet tries to compare that to my fight for 14 years for my disabled son..... and people telling me things like "It was a Blessing" ..."Now  you can have a "NORMAL" life".... GOD gave you this "Blessing".... and let's not forget my Mother and Brother saying I should have had a F*&KING Abortion any way....  Or that I  "Had to have that baby".....  Yes ANNE RANT On... I am ranting with you....AMEN!

Comment by Ammy on December 7, 2013 at 1:08pm

I am always thinking of you all.  I just haven't been able to function much lately, but I am trying to keep up with the posts.  Been having many triggers lately and I am supposing it is because of the season.

I think you all are amazing in your own special way and I appreciate getting to know you even though it has to be on this site.  I wish it could have been in another way but we are here and, sadly, we can't change the circumstances.

As always ... in my thoughts and prayers.  ♡♡♡♡♡

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