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Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on January 1, 2014 at 11:44pm

Yesterday my daughter came back up to our village. She has so many friends there. She owns a hair salon in my boutique and after many months of panic attacks and anxiety she left to go to Orange County where her children live. I know seeing me in pain every day was hard on her and she did almost everything there was to do when her brother passed. My husband and I went to dinner and after we went next door to hear some music with my daughter and friends. I did smile. I laughed. But my heart was hurting and this morning. I woke with guilt for going. I know my beautiful son wants me to try. He loved me so much. I hate these mixed feelings and I just want him back.

Comment by Michelle H on January 1, 2014 at 8:57pm

It's inconceivable to fathom that this is a year that Chris won't have been around to see.

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 1, 2014 at 8:48pm

me too--dysfunctional,, cant even sleep , just get heavy headed-- this is shit

Comment by Lynn Williams on January 1, 2014 at 8:41pm

Very hard day for me today also. Wish my family was still near but life goes on

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 1, 2014 at 8:37pm

Don't know why but am unable to attach the pic.. will try again later

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 1, 2014 at 8:35pm

Dolly, me too.. have reached the end of my tether... wish I could just feel my son's loving presence around.. and a small pic to make you all smile a wee bit.. Tiger ( Our cat) and Sparkles the Guinea pig who was with us for a few days.

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 1, 2014 at 6:50pm

Amy, Jane P, Dolly, Dick, Teresa, Thank you all for your words of kindness.. I wish everyone here peace and love in this year. Teresa, that is so astounding.. its Micheal..:)

Comment by Teresa D. on January 1, 2014 at 4:17pm

I couldn't wait to get home to share this with everyone. 

 Even though I knew Michael would not be calling me at midnight I still had to have the phone in my hand just in case.  Silly right! 

Well midnight came and the phone didn't ring so while everyone was cheering in the new year my fiancé was holding me tight and letting me cry.  While I was crying I put the phone in my pocket.  After he let me go I just had to look at the phone one more time.

When I looked there were 4 miss calls.  I didn't look to see who they were from.  I figured the calls were either friends or family calling me knowing I was missing Michael's call so I'll call them back in the morning. 

This morning I looked at my call list to see who I needed to call back and there were no missed calls in my call list. 

I know I saw those missed calls.  I know they were there last night. 

I'm freaked out over it!  Of course I want to believe it was Michael, but my sane mind says there no phone in heaven.   

Dick, thanks for sharing the video.

Comment by Ammy on January 1, 2014 at 10:53am

Numbers play tricks on us.  At least on me they do.  I was kind of looking forward to this new year and suddenly last night I realized it's 2014.  14 use to be my favorite number and in a sense it still is, but it's also the my son's b'day and his d'day.  I'm now afraid that this year year is going to be a constant reminder instead of the hope I had for more acceptance and peace.

I'm probably not making much sense and some days I know I'm just a little out of it with my thoughts.

BUT THIS IS MY PRAYER FOR ALL OF YOU:  

May 2014 bring more health than sickness,

more laughter than tears,

and more forgiveness than anger.

May you have PEACE in your life,

JOY in your home,

HOPE in your heart,

WISDOM in your actions,

and LOVE always.

Have a meaningful, Godly New Year.

Comment by Brenda Ann on January 1, 2014 at 9:13am

To Jane P - (Isaiah 41:10) Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.’

 Your comment reminded me of this scripture and it really helps to remember that God lost your child this year too. Actually he has lost many children during this year. Your son was "the works of his hands" and he looks forward to when he, through his Kingdom Government headed by his son Jesus Christ will rid the earth of death as he brings back to life ALL those in the memorial tombs. John 5:28,29

Brenda

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