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Comment by Michelle W on January 14, 2014 at 2:36pm

Hey all, isn't it funny how the silliest thing can't bring you down for a couple days... First my husband asked to go through this little box he found on the family room shed while he dusted the top shelf so I was excited to see what I may have miss placed ,,, I dump out the little box and boom it had all these silly pins he had collected over the years including the pin we had of or son in first grade when he was in tball .. All I could think of is all that happiness and hope he had... And for what? Then my daughter stop at the house to pick up a jacket we had of hers and we thought we found her retainer .. Yeah that will save us a couple hundred dollars.. Then later that night I get a text. .. Ewwe it's not mine.. Which of course means it was my sons.. Then the topper,, the Olympic commercial you know which one the proud mom one I was such a proud mom.. I just cried and cried,, I will never feel that special pride of my son being that perfect excelling young man doing it all . I went to every football basketball game every concert he was in violyn, guitar,, drums or even going to the honor society gatherings.. Now I feel like a balloon that has lost all it's air.,, I just keep herring his voice in my ear tell me all the things I can do because he was my strength, I love hearing all you story's and thoughts it brings me comfort ..hugs to all

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 14, 2014 at 1:31pm

Connie.. i am with you, sending you love and prayers to make your days peaceful. hugssss

Comment by Connie K on January 14, 2014 at 12:48pm

I've had 2 dreams this week of Daniel. I felt like one was really more like he was here. So grateful "see" him but when I wake it's so hard again...

In it he said that me and his Dad should be happy because he is fantastic and he is doing cool things. I want to believe it but still for we who are left behind the pain of missing them is so profound, it is still hard to feel happy. Then I feel guilty. The full moon isn't helping either!! Help me through this day I pray. I miss my boy so much it is like it happened yesterday.

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 13, 2014 at 6:39pm

Dolly again thank you for the cards...when i looked at it too i felt micks was playing the trumpet and asking me to go on with the dance of life..hugss. Connie. yes some people probably say whats topmost in their heads and don't really think about the implications and it must be difficult to think about implications at all times, so I do understand it but nevertheless feel the longing and the hurt to be with micks.

Jane thank you soooooooo much for saying he is there..it lifts my spirits even if it is for a little while...

Ammy, We skipped the dinner part today and that is ok, wasn't feeling like going out anyway. Your card really touched my heart as does all the support here.

Michelle, thank you ... i was waiting for something to show me micks presence but so far ..nothing:(

you are right Dolly, nothing really helps, just makes me want to curl up and never wake up again.

Lynn, thank you for your wishes.

Just knowing that all here feel my pain as much as I feel yours helps me .. I wish we had our babies with us, I wish we could see them and talk like before..but then when we can't i feel what Dolly said that they are blissful and singing and dancing with glee and abandon is what they have . .. then that is ok as long as they are really happy nothing else matters... love to you all...xoxoxoxoxo

Comment by Jane P on January 13, 2014 at 5:33pm

Happy Birthday Vasanthi.

You are not alone. He is there.

Comment by Michelle H on January 13, 2014 at 5:25pm

Happy and blessed birthday, Vasanthi! I pray that you feel Shreyas with you more than ever.

Comment by Lynn Williams on January 13, 2014 at 5:17pm

Happy birthday Vasanthi. I hope you have a calm peaceful day with friends.

Comment by Ammy on January 13, 2014 at 4:57pm

Vasanthi, I hope you managed through the day and are able to enjoy your dinner with Craig and friends.   ♥

Comment by anne on January 13, 2014 at 2:54pm

You will find that there will always be those who just don't know. You will also find that as time goes by the ignorance of others won't bother you so much. Time is the best gift you can give yourself. I think we have all felt or feel the despair. You will have other birthdays Vasanthi. I pray one day you will get a Happy Birthday. 

Comment by Connie K on January 13, 2014 at 12:15pm

Vasanthi -I was a little shocked when I read what your friend said about not having to worry about children :O I'm sorry.

Dolly we can always hope to be more hopeful tomorrow!

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