Comment

Comment by anne on January 24, 2014 at 7:08pm

Dolly don't give up. I know these feelings, and they will come, and go, but I also know that they will get farther, and farther apart. Your heart, and mind just need a rest. I like to put in one of my favorite movies and try really hard to not think of anything or feel anything. The more I did it the better I got at it. Sometimes your brain and heart just need to think about or feel nothing, even if only for a few minutes. Sometimes I can shut down my brain and my heart through a whole movie. It has really helped me deal with too much stimulus. Peace to you! 

Comment by anne on January 24, 2014 at 6:57pm

I would just like to say from my own experience, I couldn't feel my lil Del near me for a very long time. I believe it was because there was so much interference by others. Unasked for, not wanted, definitely not needed, and totally ruining my family interference, and from many people. Anyway I didn't feel him near till Ben died. You see because of all of the terrible interference, it took me a very long time, long time to even begin to be able to think straight enough let alone feel anything but pain, and fear. Actually if I were to sit down with all of you, and tell you about the 9 years that followed after Lil Del was killed in that damn car, you probably would not believe me. Sometimes I can't believe it myself. Everything that was done to me by the medical, physchiatric, and church facilities was wrong. I think what the pastor at our old church did, did the most harm to me and my children, but that's another story. 9 years went by and 19 months of Ben bomb hunting on the front lines in Iraq. I never had time to take care of myself or allow myself the time to grieve because in between being ill, and getting locked up everytime I needed surgery, I was fighting to save what was left of my family. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to put the pieces of our lives back together, but there was no stopping me. Through all of this I thought it was all a punishment from God. I believed I deserved all of it. I was wrong. It wasn't a punishment from God. It was life. It was a human thing. Of course I blamed God. I blamed him a lot. Every once in a while I still catch myself giving God the business for one thing or another! God did not do this to me, and I don't believe for a moment that God does this to anyone. I didn't know it then, but He was at my side through it all holding me up. Right before Ben died I started to feel Lil Del around me. My heart started to feel his smile again. When Ben died I promised him that I would never let anyone get between me and our family again. I was pretty busy with my daughter after Ben died because she was in the ICU after the accident for a month. The hospital is 160mi away from our home so I stayed in the town during this time so my husband could stay at the farm and keep things going. 3 months later when we brought our daughter home from the hospital I decided it was time for me to allow myself the time to grieve, and grieve my way. That was 6 years ago, and to this day I allow myself the time I need, however long that is. I also can feel both boys near me now. When I'm sad I feel their hugs. When I'm happy I feel their smiles. I believe God does that for me. I believe with all of my heart that God gave me the gift of those feelings. I believe He gave it to me when my heart was ready, and my soul was accepting. I just started figuring out some of these things in the last couple of years. I think there is a difference between being ready to receive something good and not being ready. I see it now, but I didn't see it before because I couldn't. I wasn't ready. Does that make any sense? My point is that I believe that when you grieve in your own way and at your own speed, your heart, and soul become ready to receive some good sooner. I do believe that God does this for all of us whether we see or feel it, or not.

Teresa, that is a beautiful poem, thanks! I'm counting on being all together again one day!

Comment by Michelle W on January 24, 2014 at 12:50pm

Teresa,
I love your poem... Hugs to everyone

Comment by Connie K on January 24, 2014 at 11:36am

Teresa thanks for the beautiful poem (how can I download it from here?)

Dolly thanks for the beautiful pictures.

And Dolly I think you are right that when we leave this body, we are only our purest most love-filled soul consciousness, we have no ties to human ego and negatives emotions.

Love to everyone today.

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 24, 2014 at 10:04am

What a lovely poem Teresa..

oh yes that commercial stinks.. i hate it fervently every time i see it!

Connie when you feel that it is a visit, I am positive that it is, because of the certainty that it gives and the feeling of glowing love enveloping one..when the yearning reaches its zenith there is always a soothing after that.

Comment by Davi Burford on January 24, 2014 at 7:19am

Oh Teresa that peom is beautiful.... hugs to everyone today

Comment by Teresa D. on January 24, 2014 at 7:10am

Comment by anne on January 23, 2014 at 8:52pm

Connie, you just hang on to that message as long as you need to. It is special!

Okay I saw the Subaru commercial for the first time about a half hour ago. If they only knew. That's what I call giving false security. I found the commercial very insensitive, and false. I wish I could talk to the PR firm that handles these commercials. I'd have to smack em' upside the head with the truth. Peace to all

Comment by Connie K on January 23, 2014 at 4:49pm

Dear Jane

Ann is right - you are not losing your grip. We have all lost our children, part of us and our own lives the way they once were. I am so sorry for your deep sorrow and not being able to find support locally. I hope you can find some comfort here. Perhaps you could find some peace by taking a meditation class. If there's not someone in your town, there are many options online. Just an idea... it helps me when I'm really down.

Ann - I had the very similar experience with my only voice mail from my son. I thought I had lost it when I upgraded my phone and was absolutely devastated and sobbed in the Verizon store. BUT they were able to retrieve it and I still have it now on my computer. I'm not ready to get rid of it even though I don't listen to it often, I'm still holding on to that sweet voice. I am missing him so much today. I had another dream about him last night and feel like I had a visit. Still can't believe I will never see him again...

Comment by Lynn Williams on January 23, 2014 at 2:59pm

Waiting for a plane to a much warmer LA. I had an amazing experience talking with a medium. I now believe there is life after life, and I will see my daughter again.

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