Comment

Comment by Jesse's Mom on July 23, 2016 at 10:41pm

Jill, I don't understand either. Not at all.

Comment by Teresa D. on July 19, 2016 at 5:50am

September it will be 4 years that I lived without my Michael.  The other day I found myself with my nose deep inside his work boots trying to smell him.  When I realized what I was doing I laughed at myself while tears streamed down my face. 

Comment by Michelle H on July 18, 2016 at 2:04pm

I don't get on here very often anymore. I guess it's my way of being in denial. It always saddens me to get notifications of new members being added to this group. It's a hard walk to bear, regardless of the age of our lost child. Hello to everyone.

Comment by Lynn Williams on July 18, 2016 at 12:07pm

Cindy, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. The first year is such a roller coaster. The intense pain and heartache ease but holidays and their birthdays still flatten you. July 8th would have been my daughter's 29th birthdAy. It will be three years August 17th that she died. Most of us have been on this site for a while helping each other along. I think some disbelief that this could have happened always stays with you. Hugs and hopeful days to everyone here. Love lynn

Comment by Sharon on July 17, 2016 at 2:20pm

I agree Jill. This is not getting easier. It's been over a year and I feel like my pain is worsening. All of the shock has worn off and we are left with only raw grief.
I am also struggling to understand why God would take my son. Hopefully we will understand one day.
Hugs to you Jill.
Sharon
Troy's mom

Comment by Jill E on July 17, 2016 at 11:33am

I have been struggling with this for a very, very long time. It may not be "popular" but I am trying so hard to understand. If there is a God and I want to believe it, I want and pray there is one because I want to be with my Josh again someday. But why, please tell me why someone as good and kind as God is why would he take our babies from us? I just don't understand. There are mean and horrible people walking around our there alive and well and here we are broken, empty and in pain after losing part of our heart and soul. I don't understand. My son was amazing. I miss him with every once of my being. It is only getting worse with time.

Comment by Jill E on July 17, 2016 at 11:28am

So months now after my Daughter-in-law asked for our address "and nothing else" so she could send us some of our sons things we still have not received anything. My husband and I thought it was time to mention it to her. I tried to text and then remembered she had blocked me. So I emailed her unsure if she would even get it. We had been trying to figure out why we hadn't received anything. We thought she maybe waiting for us to give her shipping money. Everyone said not to give her money. Any way I got an email back that said she was getting ready to send a box next week. It has been slow going. Really? What about me? And oh so next week really??? If I hadn't have emailed her how long would it have been???? It has been a year and 8 months. Josh's 35 birthday is on August 5th. I admit it I can't stand her. She is cruel, she is selfish and she did not take care of my son. She never gave us a chance to help him. We didn't even get a chance. Even if I couldn't help we didn't even get a chance. I don't know maybe someday I can let go of it but I am not ready. Yes I do believe she had a big part in my sons death and I hate her for it. I said it "hate" I don't like that word and very, very rarely use it but I can't help it. So we shall see if she does send us anything. If she sends us memories or just stuff like she did before we moved. We have some of Josh's treasures that he had left in our garage so we have them here for his brother but what does she plan to do with the rest? The football jerseys we bought him...so many other things that bring good memories to mind. Well only time will tell. WYWH My Joshie love you

Comment by Teresa D. on July 9, 2016 at 11:13am

Dolly, I'm glad you popped in. All I can say is, "Ditto".

Comment by Dolly on July 9, 2016 at 8:58am

always sad to 'welcome' someone new to this group... but its safe here.. you can be exactly who you are... who you have become... I know I have become someone different... someone even I don't know ... disconnected... lonely... sad... lost... trying to hope.. trying to feel grateful for all that I STILL have... and sometimes succeeding and mostly failing... but trying at least... I think I'm trying at least.. others don't always agree but then they're not me... so since I don't really have anything encouraging to say about the future I find myself staying away even from this group.. so as not to just add more gloom... but now and again I come in to see my friends and hope to find some peace with those who know what I'm talking about...

Comment by Teresa D. on July 7, 2016 at 12:16pm

Christine thank you for sharing.  While my life is no better it actually makes me feel normal to hear others are having the same experiences.

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