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Comment by anne on February 3, 2014 at 1:32pm

There was nothing any of you could've done to stop what's happened to your children. Everyone has a premonition or two on occasion. The thing is that if you live with that kind of fear or regret your not living much at all. No one has the power to predict the future except God, and even He can't change what's already happened. Life can't be lived on intuition and premonition. Sometimes you might be right, and sometimes your wrong. We would all like to think we had that kind of power, but we don't. When my Ben was deployed to Iraq I had all of those feelings. I about drove myself nuts worrying that he would die over there. Then I saw an episode of The Waltons. The mother had a miscarriage. She was sad, and fearful. She thought that it was her fault it happened. She thought that maybe if she had done things different or maybe saw it coming she could've done something about it. Then Grandpa Walton said to her, "You must hold yourself pretty high up that you think you have that kind of power to make things happen or not" It got me thinking about myself. I am but a simple human. I cannot predict the future. I do not have the power to turn around things I have no control over. Only God can do that, and he has his reasons why he either does or doesn't step in. When Ben came home from the war I thought I was in the clear. After all the worry, and all of the waiting for the other shoe to drop, I thought I was in the clear. One year later Ben was gone at the hands of a careless driver. Proof that I had no control over who lives and who doesn't. I don't live with that fear anymore. That fear almost killed me. I still pay attention to my feelings about things. I still get those intuitions that come and go, but life can't be lived in fear. Intuition and premonition is a part of life, but they can mean many things, and they can be caused by many things. You can beat yourself up all over the place with the should've, could've would've, and none of it will change a thing. As life goes on one learns the difference between the things you can change, and the things you can't. I do my best to change the things I can, and I leave the things I can't change up to God. Peace and love to all today!

Comment by Connie K on February 3, 2014 at 12:27pm

I had a sense of doom for over a year, before my son's death even when things were getting better. I just couldn't shake it and did feel him slipping away in a way that's hard to explain.

Michele thanks for the Birthday wishes. Yesterday was my husband's and it is just so hard to celebrate.

Laurie - I think lost at sea is right. We definitely become different people than we were before. But I believe our children are with us to help get us through the vastness and bring us to little islands of rest and hope. But it's a long way to the mainland!

Wishing everyone some peace today. OX

Comment by Lynn Williams on February 3, 2014 at 10:52am

Kyra's accident was caused by someone driving over a tire shred in front of her and it bounced up and smashed her windshield causing the crash. Two days before her Dad and I were driving on the highway and a few large rocks fell out of a gravel truck next to us and cracked the windshield. A preview of what was to come for my daughter.   

Comment by Michelle H on February 3, 2014 at 10:27am

On March 2 of 2013, I woke up at 4:00 a.m. feeling very unsettled, with the feeling that Chris was slipping away from me. The feeling bothered me all day, so later that afternoon, I tested him to say that I was feeling a little concerned (not mentioning the slipping away part). He texted back that he was fine. Twenty-one days later, he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly while on a cruise with his wife. Was I being prepared somehow for the unthinkable???

Comment by Ammy on February 3, 2014 at 10:16am

Adrianne, I wouldn't say it was a feeling of something wrong but the last morning as he was getting ready to go to the doctor we were talking and when I looked at him there was what I call a glow about his face.  I kept telling him how good he looked.  I must have said it a half dozen times or more.  He finally got embarrassed and said something about how it was probably because he got a good night's sleep.  I have often thought about that.  It had never happened before and as I look back now I take it as a blessing that God gave me to remember how I felt looking at him that morning and how good he looked.

We're being hammered with another snowstorm today.  I am so ready for a change in seasons even though I know that every new season brings more pain again for awhile.

Blessings to all.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by anna l. on February 3, 2014 at 4:53am

Adrianne, a resounding Yes!  In 2010 my sibling group decided to have a sibling reunion in California at a spa some of the older ones would go to for winters.  I was so excited since I had never been there and one of my sisters I had only seen a handful of times in 30 years.  A few weeks before I was to leave I started to feel really weird.  I could not put my finger on what it was.  On my last day of work I broke down crying with a friend telling her I felt like the world was going to end, not like a wonderful reunion was about to happen.  I did go on the trip.  It took the whole day to get to our destination and we stayed up late visiting and I didn't turn my cell phone on.  The next morning the phone call finally got through to me that my son Karl had died through the night and his wife found him still sitting in his chair the next morning.  The morning I was flying away on my big deal reunion.  One of the first people on scene to help my daughter in law was a victim service councillor, who happened to be the friend I broke down with a week before.  We never really talked about that whole thing other than one time after I had flown home she hugged me and whispered in my ear we should have listened to my intuition.  I know we cant live in constant fear that something bad is going to happen, but I sure wish I could go back and listen to my little voice.   

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 2, 2014 at 11:29pm

Does anyone, looking back, remember some kind of feeling that something was wrong or about to happen? Or hear anything in their mind as a warning?

Comment by Michelle H on February 2, 2014 at 7:38pm

Happy Birthday to BEN and CONNIE!!!

Comment by Connie K on February 2, 2014 at 6:04pm

I had an Uncle Curtis too...

Comment by Connie K on February 2, 2014 at 6:04pm

Dolly _ I am so sorry for your loss of Uncle Curtis. I will be sending you  and your family love and prayers. Dolly have they given you Diflucan fo an extended time? Fungal infections can be hard to deal with and That usually works. Also you could be having some reaction to or drug interaction to an ingredient in something you are taking.  And if you don't have one, I would highly recommend a whole house water filter so you control whatever is being absorbed through your skin. Sorry you are suffering so much.

Hugs to everyone here today

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