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Comment by anne on March 1, 2014 at 9:35pm

You must remember that God did NOT do this to any of us. All that stuff people say like, God needed and angel, it was his time, only the good die young etc. it's all a bunch of crap. It's the wicked one who does this to us to get us away from God. God loves all of us very much. That's why he waits for us to be ready to receive Him. It's hard to get through to us when we doubt Him. God loved me even through all the terrible things I said, and did. I believe this because I can feel His comfort now. I believe because almost every day something makes me smile! I believe because even on the dark days I can feel Him near. It took me 9 years to decide for myself if I believed or not. God waited all that time, and took all my abuse, for me to ask Him back into my life. I wish I would've ask Him to be with me sooner. I didn't because I had too much fear, anger, and sorrow within me to ask for His help. I'm glad I finally did!  Don't give up on God. I know He won't give up on us! Peace and Love to all!

Comment by Ammy on February 28, 2014 at 10:18pm

Thanks Anne.  I guess I just worry, but it feels like fear to me.  I don't say or show it to the family.  I keep my thoughts to myself.

Praying, wishing, hoping we all have a gentler weekend.

Comment by anne on February 28, 2014 at 7:59pm

The difference between worry, and fear is, worry is normal. We all worry about our families, health, etc. Fear robs you of the ability to see the good. It can impair your rational thinking, and judgment. Fear can also make one do things you wouldn't normally do such as follow your kids around because you want to protect them, and not want your loved ones out of your sight. Plus fear steals the good days you should have and robs you of any happy thoughts and memories. This is just from my experience. I was in fear for many years, and it did nothing but make me and every one I live miserable. Things are going to happen whether we are afraid or not so why waste time and energy being afraid of things you can't control. Peace and Love to all!

Comment by anne on February 28, 2014 at 6:44pm

It still is very sweet Teresa that your daughter did that for you! That's some kind of love!

Comment by Vasanthi S on February 28, 2014 at 12:58pm

My heart is aching , aching, aching..it never stops aching and I am so tired.

Dolly, neem oil works better than neem soap.. Lovely quilt.. reading all that you all write here and just feel so sad that we have this reality to live with.

Comment by Ammy on February 28, 2014 at 12:57pm

Teresa, thank you for sharing your quilts.  They are magnificent.  I pray that yours will give you much comfort.  Just being able to have something that meant so much to your Michael is a blessing.
I have wanted to have that done since the first year.  Mainly for my granddaughter, but as I told you before, my daughter came here the next day after and she said we have to get rid of his things.  My mind wasn't functioning correctly (as I'm sure you all know) and I let her bag up his things.  Mostly his dirty clothes that were in his laundry basket, but I didn't let her take his jeans/shorts and some of his T-shirts that were in the drawers.  And the strange thing is that for some reason I remembered one of his favorite T-shirts that she had put in the bag and I made my husband go get it out of the trash.  Oh, how I wish I would have made him take the whole bag out.   (⌣̩̩́_⌣̩̩̀)

Comment by Ammy on February 28, 2014 at 12:31pm

Dolly, it's so good to read that you see some improvement, and the MRI came back positive.  I pray that the blood work will finally give you some answers and some healing.  Hang in there.

Comment by Ammy on February 28, 2014 at 12:28pm

So many posts to catch up on.  I was thinking this morning of messaging Anne to ask about fear.  I didn't want to post it on here so as not to cause anyone stress, but since the topic came up I did want to ask if this seems like a normal reaction to our loss.  I didn't fear it in the beginning but as time is passing I am now feeling this fear for my daughters and grandchildren.  I do not want this to be a part of my life, and I wouldn't want anyone else having it in their life.  Don't we already have enough?  I'm not sure I know the difference between worry and fear in this area of my life as Anne put it.

Comment by Connie K on February 28, 2014 at 11:13am

Hello everyone. Well LA is finally getting some WEATHER. Big rain overnight and tonight. ope it doesn't flood. Dolly I wanted to tell you that I am so happy you received what seems to me a message from Brandon. You have been praying for it and you found it. Sometimes I think when I look the hardest you don't see them but when you are truly surrendered to what is, you can see those gifts from Spirit. I hope that is has helped you feel more hopeful and renewed your faith that you will see him again. It's all that keeps me going. Also hope they find the root of your physical problems. Could be candidae. Once I had to take the Diflucan for a solid month for a fingernail fungus! Maybe even some sort of allergy or drug reaction. Jeez I am so sorry you have suffered so long with this.

Teresa - thank you for the quilt info. I have been saving t-shirts all my life of places I've visited or sang at a with the intention of putting them on a wall. Now I will have those made into a blanket or quilt as well as Daniel's tees and jerseys. I can't wait. But I do have the same sad feelings as you did about cutting them up....

Comment by Davi Burford on February 28, 2014 at 9:41am

Oh Teresa the quilts are beautiful and the thought that Michael is hugging on you when you wrap yourself in that comfort is just so awesome. Thank you for sharing them with us. I send hugs to everyone. 

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