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Comment by Jane P on March 17, 2014 at 5:48pm

Thank you Connie.

Comment by Lynn Williams on March 17, 2014 at 5:08pm

Good news on your blood test results Dolly. I don't think we will
Ever feel like we did before our children died. Today it was seven months ago since I saw my daughter alive. I kept myself busy all day going to the gym and doing a craft project with three friends. I just finished a book called the afterlife of Billy Fingers . It was a true story written by a woman who lost her brother. It was a view of heaven. It is still so cold here in Vermont with lots of snow and ice. The sugar makers have not been able to collect maple sap once yet. Our maple season is usually finishing up by now. I will light a candle for Kyra tonight and look at some picture albums if I can. I have no sense of time anymore especially with retiring last June. I lose track of the days. Just want to feel the warm sun hitting my face and my hands in the dirt. Will spring ever come again. Hugs to all.

Comment by Michelle H on March 17, 2014 at 4:56pm

Dolly, yes, grief can make you sick. In addition to gastritis, and a bunch of other things, I awoke today with the 7th cold I've gotten since Chris died. That's more than I've had in the past 20 years combined.

Grace, so glad you're here with us. We need you as you sometimes need us.

Connie, yes, trusting with faith can be more challenging now that our children are gone, but it's the only thing that gets me through. I'm glad you, too, found your special necklace.

A year ago today, Chris and his wife left on the cruise that he died on. Friday, the 21st, is his one year anniversary.

Comment by Connie K on March 17, 2014 at 3:19pm

Back at ya Vasanthi!

Comment by Vasanthi S on March 17, 2014 at 11:52am

Grace, sending loads to love to u.. time is not measured as we did earlier anymore.. please be here as from everyone here I draw so much of strength... some days I just read and ponder and feel each one's posts in my heart and dont want to comment because some days words do not convey the feelings well and some days I like to reach out to all here knowing that I will never be misunderstood... I thank u all from my heart.xoxoxox

Comment by Connie K on March 17, 2014 at 11:15am

Jane I am sorry you are feeling so sad today. Hugs to you.

Comment by Connie K on March 17, 2014 at 11:13am

Michele, so glad you found your necklace. Of course he remembered his mom! I also felt that you would find that with the help of your special angel. It's funny, because I had lost a special necklace I wear in honor of my son and almost freaked out but felt and heard that little voice saying that I would find it and I did something amazing - I trusted my faith and didn't freak out. VERY unlike me as a I am the freak-out queen! For a couple of weeks, I have kept looking patiently here and there with no luck. Then yesterday, like you, I found it in a place I had looked several times. Just sitting there. Why is it so hard to trust that faith always? That is what I am working on. It's hard when you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest.

But organizing this drum circle for Daniel's birthday has gotten me in a more positive frame of mind. Just how everything is falling into place and I feel such closeness with him, like he is helping me each step of the way and knows about the "party" (I think because it was his idea). It will be a blessing to have all those he loves and who love him doing something he loved to do. I can't wait to beat on the drum and send out those vibrations right to his heart.

Peace to you all today. Sending you extra prayers Bern

and Happy St Paddy's day to any of you Irish folk out there. Don't forget to wear green

Comment by Grace on March 17, 2014 at 11:00am

Thank you all for your kind words about my dream.... Friday was very hard... full of Snotty Nose Sobs...... but I'm ok.... this morning, as I was driving to work I heard  Sissy's Song by Allen Jackson... it was one from Niles' funeral.... and it says  "Don't Worry About Me" in the lyrics..... Ok Tears again flowed......  he is always on my mind..... I miss him so much... he was 14 and this year he was supposed to be 18....      Some days I think it has been 5 years... maybe I don't need this group so much any more..... but then I am so glad you are all here and I hope that I can show you all that we are 5 years down the road and some days are good but we still have our sad days... too.....

Friday a friend came by with Spaghetti and Meatballs for lunch and told me similar stories .... that Niles came to just give me a hug..... somehow though.. I still cry and will always want him back.

Comment by Michelle H on March 16, 2014 at 1:09pm

Vasanthi, you were positive right from the start!

Bern, I pray for many better days for you. It is a hard journey.

Comment by Bern on March 16, 2014 at 12:12pm

I keep looking for a better day.

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