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Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on April 3, 2014 at 3:10am

My husband gets quiet when I talk about Don. Uncomfortable. Makes me sad.

Comment by anne on April 2, 2014 at 5:22pm

It's rare that I talk about my boys, especially to my daughters. They tell me not too. There's very few people I talk too about them. I think it's because people are of the mind set that unless it's happened to them they don't want to deal with it. I'm learning to understand it, but I'm sad that people are so narrow minded about the death of a child. I think it might be fear. People who were my friend before are no longer. I have been told that I am a jinx, and that others are afraid that it will happen to them if they are a friend to me. Totally ignorant, but this is my reality. Before I experienced the death of a child myself, when I would hear about this subject my heart would hurt for them, and I thought it was only right that I treated that person with love and understanding. After Lil Del died I learned that I was probably the only one who felt that way, and that others are not as sympathetic. Sad too say that everything I thought was right turned out to be not true when it came to my reality. I believed I killed my own child because that's how I was treated afterwards. It took years for me to understand that it wasn't my fault. I've read many books about grief, but I haven't come across anything that helps people on the outside of death learn what is helpful, and what is not helpful to grieving parents. Fear is a powerful emotion, and can cause great pain for those of us whose reality is the loss of a child. That's part of the reason I have turned to God for help and comfort. Atleast here we can share our stories, and emotions without fear of being hurt. May Peace, Love, and understanding be with all of you.

Comment by Lynn Williams on April 2, 2014 at 4:17pm

First day it really feels like spring here. Just thinking about Kyra not being with us to enjoy it. I hope it is a beautiful day wherever she and all our children are. I hope they can see us and feel how much we still love them. This first year is something else.  Some days I could fall asleep in a chair around 4:00. Thank you all for helping me know I will get through this somehow. Hugs to all.  

Comment by Ammy on April 2, 2014 at 3:02pm

Dolly, I understand.  I feel the same way, no one talks about our son except his daughter will talk to me about him.  I think she is forgetting him and wants to be reminded of what he was like.  Sometimes she will ask to look at pictures or watch movies.  

But after I read your comment I thought how I hardly ever bring up my son to my husband or daughter because I don't want to upset them.  Wow, that was an eye opener for me.  And yet I want them to talk about him.  Maybe we all walk on eggshells.  I don't know.  Everything about this seems to becoming more confusing to me.

How is Bo doing?  Do your other son or daughter talk about Brandon with you?  

Blessings of peace & love to all.

Comment by Teresa D. on April 2, 2014 at 6:23am

Dolly we will never forget Brandon.  They are just afraid to upset you.

Anne, I remember you sharing that.  It's just frustrating how people expect you to just move forward like nothing.  These are our babies. No matter what age, they are our babies. 

Comment by anne on April 1, 2014 at 7:18pm

I know exactly how you feel Teresa. My mother and sister compared the loss of my sisters dog to the loss of my boys. I know that any kind of loss of life is painful, but to compare the loss of a child to a dog or boyfriend is absurd. I chalk it up to ignorance.

Comment by Connie K on April 1, 2014 at 5:02pm

Yes , a VERY inappropriate comparison. You need support from people in your life not them diminishing your pain.  I'm sorry you have to lose a friend as well.

Comment by Ammy on April 1, 2014 at 12:20pm

Teresa, I'm sorry that your friend can't see the reality of your loss.  We would never want them to have to experience it, but that truly is the only way for some people to understand.  Brush the dust off and leave it behind.  We understand.

I hope you will enjoy the sunshine and warmth today.  

Blessings to you and all here.

Connie, I am blessed that you had a good day with Daniel's friends.  I hope the memory of it will always give you a smile.

Comment by Vasanthi S on April 1, 2014 at 11:22am

What an inappropriate comparison Teresa.. I'm sorry you had to hear that ..people are mad!!!

Comment by Teresa D. on April 1, 2014 at 7:29am

I forgave the friend that told me it was time to get over it, but she is now trying to compare her break-up with her boyfriend to my loss of my son.  I can only hold my breathe for so long.  I told her she was selfish and ignorant and hung up with no intention of ever calling her again. 

You want people to understand what you are experiencing but the only way for that to happen is for them to walk in your shoes and I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone. 

A break up of a boyfriend like REALLY! 

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