Comment

Comment by Nb on November 13, 2016 at 10:58pm

Thanks, Connie, you are so right. Jill, I hear you on the holidays. Rhis will be our first Christmas and Lucas' birthday without him.

Comment by Jill E on November 13, 2016 at 7:28pm

All of our decorations will stay in the boxes. I don't know when or if they will be brought out again. Going to see my son in Texas. That is my present. The only present I want I will never receive. WYWH My Joshie.

Comment by Connie K on November 13, 2016 at 7:10pm

Jill

The holidays get harder and harder to deal with. I just avoid as much as  I can and show up for the day if I have to. I haven't sent a Christmas card in 4 years . Every time I think about the amount of effort, my soul is too tired to even think about it much less do it. I send e-mails to those who have it and well one card - to my mother. I will sing as much as I can. i feel like we are together then. And gifts are going to be a gift from the Heifer Organization. And the longer it gets when you tell someone they act like that a lot of time has passed. as we all know - it feels like yesterday sometimes

Comment by Connie K on November 13, 2016 at 7:06pm

Dear Nb

That story about your clergy just makes me angry and sad. This is a person who id=s supposed to be offering guidance and is obviously oblivious to the reality you are going through. I believe it was Albert Einstein who said "A great grief is easily managed by all who do not have it". I would encourage you to look elsewhere for spiritual guidance and comfort. There are caring,  loving spiritual leaders out there who would better serve you. I have said to people who make comments like that to me that 'well it's really hard to explain how difficult it is unless you've experienced it yourself and I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. So I get that you can't understand. But thanks for caring.' They usually stare blankly at me and change the subject. Point made.

Comment by Jill E on November 13, 2016 at 11:54am

Connie-December is such a hard month...not only the anniversary (hate to call it that) but then there are the holidays...

Comment by Jill E on November 13, 2016 at 11:51am

That is awful. I don't expect a response like that from my friends let alone your clergyman. I am so sorry. It has been almost 2 years and I know now there never will be a time when I will be "over it". It is kind of the way it is. I pray it gets easier. Maybe finding a new church is a good idea. I have a wonderful therapist that I can unload on weekly. We all need somebody that listens...understands...Hugs

Comment by Patty on November 13, 2016 at 11:02am

Omg.  I can't believe that a clergyman said that.  After that amount of time my pastor/counselor told me that it would probably get worse for a time.   Agreed, never let that man around a grieving mom.    

Comment by Nb on November 13, 2016 at 10:58am

I had a clergyman tell me to "get over it" yesterday. He's the same one who told me at the burial of my son that the saddest thing he'd ever seen was the burial of a newborn. I think he meant to holy me out of my sadness...after all I had my son for 18 years. Meaning no disrespect to his position, but the man should be allowed nowhere near grieving mothers. He said, "I lost my dad." I replied, "it's not the same". And when he told me it's time to move on, I said, "It's been two months." I need to avoid that church, clearly.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on November 12, 2016 at 12:38pm

Dolly, agreed with everything you wrote. 

So sorry to the new ones here. 

Connie, hugs to you and to Jill as you both near angelversary dates.

Today, we received a notice in the mail that the girl who killed our son is going to appeal the court's decision. 

Her phony -- I am sorry -- in the court, I refused to accept it because she is not sorry, neither will she ever be. The judge asked me if we would accept that it was an emphatic No from me, so right that I held true to my inner guidance.

Comment by Connie K on November 12, 2016 at 11:50am

Hugs Jill. Our date is Dec.1 Just the hardest time

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