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Comment by Dolly on November 2, 2014 at 9:24am

DICK talk to whoever set up the adoption... maybe your circumstances will touch someone and they will talk to the parents who adopted the child and they will allow contact... I have adopted three children and I would gladly share them with any parent that was sincere and trustworthy... I would be careful of course, but not hard hearted enough to deny one of them contact especially in a situation like yours... worth a try maybe?

Comment by Dolly on November 2, 2014 at 9:18am

DICK shortly before we went to the beach where Brandon died a few days later I told my husband I was for some reason afraid to go that year... I didn't know why... the morning Brandon died I for some reason  I reacted to his being sleepy [not unusual for him when we were at the beach and spending long days in the water and sun] ... I asked my husband to check him and make sure he was OK and for reasons that shocked me when I said it I asked him 'he isn't dead is he?' I don't know why I said those words... he came back and said he was just sleepy and he had turned him on his side and put music on his iPad and he said Brandon opened his eyes, looked at the iPad, smiled, closed his eyes and 'went back to sleep'.... a few minutes later I went to check again and he was dead... nothing brought him back.. we did CPR, the paramedics did CPR gave him epi or whatever.. nothing.... when I looked at him when I went back into the room and touched him I KNEW he wasn't there anymore... to this day the shock of it all makes me physically sick and overcome with the most horrible chills right down to my soul...

Comment by Connie K on November 2, 2014 at 8:57am

Laurie, Jane, it's 23 months for me too. Daniel died The Sat night before Danielle. Last night it rained for the first time what sees like 6 months. It was a drizzly night on Dec. 1 2012. I feel like I want to disappear these days. We are also involved in litigation to try to fx the illegal wall the car crashed into. It's bringing it all up again in the worst way. Good luck with the trial as hard as it is  for you. At least this girl will finally have to face the consequences of her actions.

Love to all

Comment by Jesse's Mom on November 2, 2014 at 8:43am

Linda, I had found Carol Kearns to be very realistic on everything a grieving parent could face.

 

Jane, I am in my 24th month...still am struggling hard.  Wehave a trial to go through as the girl who ran over my son is charged with homicide by negligent driving. I am exhausted.

My sister-in-law, who meant well, could not understand why I continue to post on a grief forum, she asked, "Doesn't it just keep you sad?" Thought I should "get out more" What crazy ideas people come up with for a grieving parent. I know she just doesn't know. (Never married, no kids, just dogs).

Comment by Jane P on November 2, 2014 at 8:01am

Christmas is coming.

Danielle's most favourite time.

I no longer celebrate any holidays.

I would just cry all day.

Comment by Jane P on November 2, 2014 at 7:59am

Danielle was born on a Sunday.

She passed away on a Sunday.

Comment by Jane P on November 2, 2014 at 7:58am

It is 23 months for me today.

That's a long time for me to live without my child.

I remember when it was 1 day, then 1 week, then 1 month.

I don't know how I have lasted this long.

Comment by Jane P on November 2, 2014 at 7:56am

I never know what to say.

We all hurt so much.

I pray for peace for all of us today, even if it's just for a moment or two.

I hope you receive your moment.

Thank you for all that you share.

xxoo

Comment by Linda on November 2, 2014 at 7:10am

Thank you for the link Laurie-Jessie's mom. I search daily for peace.

Big hug's to all.

Comment by Teresa D. on November 1, 2014 at 2:02pm

Dick I think it's good your venting.  Have you tried to contact the girl? Do you know who she is? 

Connie, during the first year everyday I hoped some girl would come knock on my door with a baby in her arms and say, "Guess what...". That child would be so spoiled right now, but no didn't happen.  Me and my damn sex education. The one time he listens. Damn him. 

When I look back even though Michael and I talked like we did that day all the time something about that phone call made me feel so special as a mom and now it's like we were saying good bye. Looking back it looks like the whole year was a good bye.   

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me but it was also comforting. I took steps I needed to and found comfort where I didn't expect it. I'm stumbling down this road but I guess as long as I'm stumbling forward I'm okay.

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