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Comment by Vasanthi S on November 12, 2014 at 11:18am

Connie , Teresa, 

so true..every word... our children have their own lives despite ours... we have witnessed a closeness to life through love and have had a chance to partake in the creative process and for that my gratitude that I was given a chance to love so easily and unconditionally.. we have seen our children's life as a trajectory from birth to death..its painful even to type 'death'... we knew not before they were born how love stole unawares upon us but we do know that love will never cease to be. Wherever they are they are so deeply loved and only good things will happen to our darlings.. that is not a hope but a conviction. Just wishing us strength in this non-negotiable situation.It is going to hurt to ask for what cannot be so I pray for wisdom to dawn on us and love to hold us close and joy to be able to give our fellow travelers on this journey of life. xoxoxox 

Comment by Teresa D. on November 12, 2014 at 5:39am

We are in a non negotiable situation.

Comment by Adrianne on November 12, 2014 at 1:02am

Still haven't figured out how to get my old page back. Anyone?
I'm struggling to look at pictures too. Dick, modeling isn't a great profession. It want his path. Linda, I do understand. Don was my first born. I remember how each day of that pregnancy was. Hurting for us all
Adrianne

Comment by Connie K on November 11, 2014 at 10:16pm

I know what you mean Dick. I want a do over too. But then I realize that our children had their own lives, their own paths. Their own choices. Their own destiny - despite ours. Our influence may not have been as important as we think and beat ourselves over.  Of course, hind sight is 20/20. Oh... but it weren't!

Comment by Dick on November 11, 2014 at 8:45pm

Could I have done something, sure. I strongly suggested Danny finish University, even though he got some job to do modeling in New York, New York. Houston is just not the place for that even though he did some.

Rather than commercial diving, he would have been a model and history would have been changed. I live that decision every day. Modeling would not have been so taxing on his body, not had the heart attack, ergo he would be with us. I want a do over, please God?

Comment by Connie K on November 11, 2014 at 5:52pm

it's 11:11

Comment by Jesse's Mom on November 11, 2014 at 5:50pm

Lately, it is like I am frozen up inside...I am finding it hard to look at Jesse's pictures, listen to his voice recording, or go to the grave. I have spent the last 2 years screaming in my head and sometimes wanted to dive off a cliff. I almost feel disloyal to him...but it has become so unbearably hard to look at his picture and realize he is not physically here.... 

Has anyone else noticed this happening to them?

Comment by Jane P on November 11, 2014 at 4:01pm

I've noticed we haven't heard from anne lately?

Comment by kim on November 11, 2014 at 10:33am

hi linda, yes I feel the same way and am doing the same thing. shawn was 40 my only child, when it hit a year nov 5 I thought I would die, and I want to. my heart is so empty and dark with out him.  my life now is crying and taking pills, im so tired like I never have been. god how I miss shawn,  hes the love of my life and  the pain is so unreal. hugs and love to you      kim

Comment by Linda on November 11, 2014 at 9:58am

as a mother who has lost her only child only months ago, I now find myself looking at expectant mothers and remember my own pregnancy. although my daughter was 31 when she left me it's as though it was just yesterday that I was rubbing my bulging belly and singing to her, buying the little things my precious gift will need, deciding what to name her. Oh how it hurts. So much pain.

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