Comment

Comment by Teresa D. on November 22, 2014 at 5:28pm

Dolly that is excellent news!

Comment by kim on November 22, 2014 at 5:57am

michelle, ill be thinking of you and wishing you the very best, please take care  hugs  kim

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 21, 2014 at 7:22pm

Michelle I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. No mother should have to be going through that.

Comment by Connie K on November 21, 2014 at 4:39pm

Michele - thinking of you tomorrow. I will light a candle for your son.

Comment by Connie K on November 21, 2014 at 4:25pm

That's fantastic Dolly! It must be a huge relief for you both. I am also a cancer survivor - 10 years this month. I always felt I survived because I had to take care of my son.

Comment by Michelle H on November 21, 2014 at 4:12pm

Tomorrow marks two years exactly since I saw my son alive. Less than four months later, he died unexpectedly. Thanksgiving is hard, because 2 years ago, Nov. 22 was Thanksgiving. Wishing everyone peace.

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 21, 2014 at 3:23pm

oh and Jim said the same thing about the hard stuff.. you think I'm stupid?? Well.. I didn't...

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 21, 2014 at 3:22pm

yeah I get that.. I still get mad at times at my Jim thinking WTF were you thinking???? and yes WHY??? but I know if I keep up the why it will be the death of me.. and I have two daughters that I have to be strong for.. TG I have them and 3 granddaughters now bc they're saving my life! It would be so easy to just stay in my dark corner and cry forever.. so even though I don't want to, I get up, put on my 'public' face and pretend like I'm 'normal'.. Right?    

Jim and his GF got pregnant when they were 16. I was the first one they told. I encouraged her to have the baby and said we would even adopt it.. but she ended up keeping her and I am so glad now they did.. she's 8 years old.  My Jimbo died when he was almost 24. 15 months ago. Her mom ended up marrying one of Jim's best friends and he's a great daddy to Alexis so it's all worked out for her.. 

How long has Randy been gone?

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on November 21, 2014 at 3:03pm

Oh wow, Randy knew how I felt about the hard stuff too, I also didn't really care about weed.  He swore to me he never would do the hard stuff, that he wasn't stupid, I wanted to believe him so bad, when I first found the needle pre-rehab I was completely shocked. The therapist at the rehab place said he was "intriqued" by the drugs, at my age when we were in our teens and 20's - we were scared!! And we should be scared.  I think back to him in rehab and he was so good and looked so good.  The first time he went to the hospital, he tested positive for weed, Zanaax, Coke and hereoin, WTH!!!!!! I get so mad, what is he thinking.  His baby pictures and his life pictures surround me in my office and its so awful, I want him so bad, I want to hug him, I hadn't even seen him for a couple of weeks, I hate myself for that.  I kept telling him I wanted us to get together but I don't think he wanted me to see him. When will the deep hurting awful pain subside? I cant imagine when it will be.  Last year in January he was in re-hab and now this January grief counseling? What a joke...I so related to what you said about the sirens and blocked calls, he got in trouble so many times for possession of weed, selling it, etc. it has all been so ongoing for so many years and he's so young, why would he do those drugs, there I go again...the Why is so awful. You are an inspiration to me, thank you for being there. I do understand that ultimately they have made these choices.  Unfortunately when he got out of rehab he wasn't yet 18 so there were no halfway / sober houses to put him in except one that was for minors for $2000 a month, yea right...

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 21, 2014 at 2:50pm

Sandy, the other drug was meth. I didn't find any track marks or needles or anything so not sure how he took it.. I'm guessing there's other ways to ingest it. So shocked he had that but he knew how I felt about the hard stuff (I really didn't care about weed) But he would tell me things even though I didn't really want to know about them.. but that's the relationship we had. I really wanted my kids to be able to talk to me bc I couldn't talk to my parents so generally they would talk to me about a lot of things- and sometimes things I didn't really want to hear but I felt like I could maybe protect them better or help them or just be there for them if I knew what was really going on, ya know?

Oh and the 9 month thing was basically - 30 days treatment, half-way house, out on the street a few days using, detox, 30 day treatment, halfway house, repeat... but this last place seemed to really have gotten through to him. He was calling me talking to me for hours about things he was learning and realizing and that was not like him at all.. (unless he was drunk or something) but all the things I had prayed for for years that he would just GET he was getting.. even started going back to a church there and stuff..  so I guess at least he was on his way up with a set back when he left instead of being so far down in the hole like he'd been so many times before... right?

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