Comment

Comment by Michelle H on December 15, 2014 at 2:16pm

Today is Christopher's birthday. Hopefully, he's spending it in heaven.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 15, 2014 at 2:13pm

Me too!!! So stupid!

Comment by Marie on December 15, 2014 at 1:43pm

I can't believe your boss would say that!! That just makes me mad!!!

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 15, 2014 at 10:42am

Oh Teresa, thank you so much! I agree with Marie - very cool!! Yea my boss at work asked last week if I would be smiling when he got back from his trip - I said No.

7 weeks today, I feel so empty and sick inside.  The closer it gets to Christmas the sadder I feel, I miss him so damn much.

You are right, nobody understands how deep to our core this pain is.  Love and hugs to all of us... x0

Comment by Marie on December 15, 2014 at 7:40am

Teresa, that is so cool!! Can you post a picture of the candles? I want to do that too.
Dolly, I think the bird is your son too!

Comment by Teresa D. on December 15, 2014 at 7:04am

Yesterday I set up a circle of candles for us all.  LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!

Some people are afraid to be us. Some simply don't know what to say. While others just think we should be over it.  This is a process that only those experiencing it understands. 

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 14, 2014 at 11:34am

Oh Dolly, I think for sure it is Brandon. One day when my daughter was home, a hummingbird got into the sun room of our house and came up to the glass door and just stayed there and stared at her. I believe in the signs, unfortunately I haven't seen any myself. I'm so sorry it is so hard, sorry for all of us.  Love and hugs to you today.

Comment by Dolly on December 14, 2014 at 11:31am

I am having a harder time this year... I thought it would be less hard since the FIRST holiday season after Brandon left us is behind me.... but its NOT easier... its HARDER... and maybe because I keep trying not to cry... last year I just let myself cry my heart out... its never going to get easier is it.... just longer.... without him.... today a bird kept flying up against the bedroom window.. not hard enough to injure itself, but hard enough to make a 'thump' sound... I asked my husband what that noise was and he said it was a bird flying into the window and that it did it every day about the same time of day... he said he thought the bird was seeing its own reflection and trying to protect its territory by scaring off the 'other bird' it saw in the window... maybe so... sounds somewhat logical... or is it Brandon saying good morning?

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 14, 2014 at 10:58am

It's very hard to get through every day and pretend to be normal.  I also cannot sleep at night, I wake up every night at about 1:00 and am up for hours just replaying all the bad times in my mind.  I think if I think of Randy when he was young and happy, that hurts even more.  he was such a joy when he wasn't doing drugs.  I didn't get to say goodbye and 7 weeks ago today I spoke to him for the last time and he swore to me he wasn't using again.  My heart is broken and I just feel this awful void inside.  Hugs to everybody.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 14, 2014 at 10:52am

Brenda, welcome to our Group and I'm so very sorry for you losing your daughter.  We all understand, my son has been gone 7 weeks tomorrow and unfortunately it is these terrible tragedies that have thrown us all together.  The days are very hard but its good to talk to each other on here.  Hugs

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