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Comment by Connie K on February 3, 2015 at 1:58pm

I am right there with you all. This time of year seems to be especially hard. I cried so hard last night when my thoughts go to never ever seeing him again. My whole being screams NOOOOOOOOOO.
Yes we may learn how to handle this grief better but the pain remains the sane. In fact the longer I dont see him the Harder it is. Oh to hold our sweet valentines. Our truest love, our most precious love. It was my husbands birthday yesterday and it always is so hard. I know how sad he was not to have his boy. I think there are ebbs and flows. I'm with you Lynn I need a retreat

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on February 3, 2015 at 10:56am

Teresa, you are saying how I feel exactly.  Each day seems to be getting harder.  I cried so much yesterday, the pain is getting deeper. The thought that I'll never see my sweet baby again is making me beyond sick.  I'm so busy at work and I can't focus either.  I just don't know why he couldn't have asked for help.  I want him so much.  Yesterday I was thinking I took him candy on Valentines Day last year when he was at rehab and he was so happy.  I'll never be happy again. How could he do this.

Comment by Lynn Williams on February 3, 2015 at 9:31am

I understand so well your feelings of being lost Teresa. I have been so filled with anxiety and thinking about Kyra's accident these past several days. I will feel more grounded being in my own house with my dogs. We have been in New Mexico visiting my step-son and his family for three weeks and leave this Sunday. I need to be back home and following a routine. I need some solitude to let my feelings out my tight face is also wearing thin. Love to all here lynn

Comment by kim on February 3, 2015 at 8:02am

Teresa, im sorry you are having a bad time, but I know what you mean, I to feel that way everyday. like falling deeper and deeper. I hope it gets a little easyer for you, hugs and love  kim

Comment by Teresa D. on February 3, 2015 at 7:48am

I'm losing focus, I feel so lost, this month is hitting me hard.  I can't seem to distract myself.  All I can think about is that last call and where he would be now.  My fake face is getting tight, all I want to do is throw it away but I know I need it to make it through each day. 

I live for the day when this gets easier. 

Comment by Vasanthi S on February 1, 2015 at 2:54pm

Teresa, I can understand how hard it is.Everyday this month builds up to V day and that really is so painful. Love to you.

Comment by Teresa D. on February 1, 2015 at 2:15pm

I'm trying to stay in the day, but it is so hard when reminders are everywhere.  Michael's birthday is on Valentine's Day.  I wish I could ignore it but it's everywhere.  For me that is the hardest day of all to deal with.  Michael you will always be my Valentine, Mommy loves you!

Comment by Connie K on January 30, 2015 at 7:22pm

Thanks. So glad he could touch your heart. I think I'm going to write music for it for our Ashram. Hugs to everyone

Comment by Jesse's Mom on January 30, 2015 at 6:40pm

Connie, that is a truly inspiring poem by your son, Daniel.

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 28, 2015 at 4:01pm

Love to you Connie.. what a beautiful poem Daniel wrote. Much love and wises for peace to everyone here.

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