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Comment by Jane P on February 14, 2015 at 6:33am

Thinking of Teresa today.
Happy birthday to Michael.
Xxoo

Comment by Connie K on February 13, 2015 at 5:37pm

I know Teresa. It sucks. It like the more of these special days go by, the thought of facing a lifetime of them seems impossible.

It is especially hard for you having the birthday and Valentines on the same day. I'm sorry.

I got valentines from my mom and sister with little gifts , like we have all our lives. I can't even do that because I don't want to think about Valentines Day. Even though I have by dear husband, he doesn't want to have to deal with such "happy' occasions either. So I think unconsciously I block it all out. Guess it will have to be a cyber card from me this year.

Comment by Teresa D. on February 13, 2015 at 11:45am

How do you deal with their birthday? The day you brought them into the world.  How do you deal with the loss of the future, that every mother dreams of? How do you answer "how many children do you have"? How do you sit through weddings and birth announcements knowing your child won't have any? How do you talk to the grandchild left with no dad or mom? What do you say to the parent that had to nurse their child to their death?

Zell no offense but your describing "almost" while those of here didn't have the outcome that you had. We never got to feel "relieved" and we never will.  Again no offense but I don't want to read about an "almost" while I'm trying to keep myself from a total melt down.

Comment by Jill E on February 13, 2015 at 9:09am

my faith in anything is gone. Why did he take my son? What if there is no "heaven" and I never get to see my beautiful son again. It sounds crazy but I pray to get faith in someone, something. "someone" that will promise me that I will be with my son again. Damnit there is no promise so how do I go on with the agony of never seeing my Joshie again.

Comment by Jill E on February 13, 2015 at 9:01am

I am having so much trouble finding faith in "God". I just don't understand why he would take my son?

Comment by Dolly on February 13, 2015 at 8:21am

always sweet, always loving, always full of joy... when you left this earth you left a colder sun, a crueler land, a hole so black and deep that NOTHING can ever fill it except to be with you one day... my hope... please God ... for to NEVER see you again is beyond my ability to contemplate... it just can NOT be .. please God

Comment by Dolly on February 13, 2015 at 8:18am

after all the shaking and the slap and the screaming came the CPR and more screaming and praying and begging God and nothing changed the fact that he was GONE just like that .... just NOT THERE ANYMORE... my baby ... God I miss you BRANDON you little sweetheart of a man... and you were a man a REAL man ... full of courage I have NEVER seen anything like... and still in all your painful years you were our LIGHT and JOY... and now we are all here waiting til the day we will be with you TOTALLY again... love you my son my beautiful son..

Comment by Dolly on February 13, 2015 at 8:14am

I shook my son and shook him and slapped him and screamed at him and he DIDN'T wake up...

I can NOT imagine losing my husband but I KNOW what it is like to lose your CHILD...

I don't know if I can understand your grief fully and I hope I never will

and I don't think you can understand mine and I hope you never will..

Comment by Teresa D. on February 13, 2015 at 6:40am

Dolly Michael would love it!!!!  THANK YOU for thinking of me.  Michael Mommy Loves you!!!!!

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on February 12, 2015 at 5:01pm

We couldn't change things... I wish I could have had one more chance to put him back in rehab but he had to want to change.  I ask myself the same things...when did he do heroin? Why would he ever do it? Why why why and there are no answers.  That makes it really really hard too! Ladies we will never have the answers we need.. Hugs and love

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