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Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 1:01pm

My cousin died as a result of alcohol too.. he had tried so hard to quit drinking... his job put him in situations where there was social drinking that he couldn't seem to get out of doing as part of what he thought was expected of him... he crashed and was killed on his way home... either from the alcohol alone or because it caused him to go to sleep at the wheel.... it was a tragedy for his family for sure.. and he was such a friendly person, and so funny.... and it was impossible to tell when he had been drinking or not I think.... he 'handled' it well if such a thing is even possible.... alcohol is a terrible drug if you can't control it.... as bad as any drug I think.. I mean it can destroy you just as badly as most of the problem drugs today...

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 12:37pm

I now "label" alcohol as an extremely deadly drug...one that can take even the young, not just the old man leaning on the bar with drink in hand everyday and stumbling home and later to be taken by this legal drug. It can take a young 33 year old man with everything going for him. Where no one knew (supposedly even his own wife)he had any problem until it was too late. I just don't understand. I never had a chance to try and help him...even a chance...alcohol as deadly as any drug. I love you my Joshie and I miss you so. Please let me know you are ok and that someday I can hug you and hear you say "I love you Mommas".

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 12:28pm

Dolly I look for signs everywhere, everyday...thank you for helping me believe that there are signs from my baby...

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 11:43am

WINTER NEEDS TO GO AWAY NOW... what a nightmare February has been.... I WANT THIS HIDEOUS WEATHER GONE !!!

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 11:41am

as time goes by nobody asks anymore... that's ok in most ways but then I need to talk about Brandon... and when I do some if not most people seem uncomfortable as if I shouldn't be thinking and talking about him anymore now that it's going on two years... TWO YEARS... as if I will EVER forget him and stop talking and thinking about him... I guess they think I'm just hanging on to memories that I should pack away somewhere now time has passed... but the memories of him bring him a little closer... and of course I know most people think I'm a total maniac for believing in any 'signs' I might see or hear or sense on another level... its so lonely out there in that world... in here its kinder and gentler as we share... and grieve... the clock is ticking towards Brandon's 24th birthday....

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on February 15, 2015 at 10:46am

Sharon so very sorry to have to welcome you to our group. My beautiful son was 18 when I lost him October 27th.  It's the worst thing ever, the pain is unbearable.  So sorry and drugs are taking so many of our babies, it's just sickening. Sending you hugs.

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 9:48am

I hope Zell finds help in here... I didn't want to hurt her more but this month is tearing me up... Brandon's birthday month...and there have been times when I felt like it could have turned out differently if only I had checked him SOONER instead of going out to the balcony for a morning cup of coffee first...I had no clue what was going on as I sat there enjoying my coffee... and it makes me feel like such a horrible mother.... so I guess when Zell talked about 'almost' losing her son it just was the last thing I could hear... sorry Zell... and also since my husband has been fighting his health issures I am terrified of losing him TOO and so its hard for me to put it all together without imploding or exploding... and I guess this time I exploded emotionally... I hope Zell can find help somewhere in here though... I would never wish a grieving person to be alone...

Comment by Maureen on February 15, 2015 at 9:11am

I feel for you Sheri. You may feel like everyone around you is there for your husband, but we are here for you. You're not alone.

Comment by Teresa D. on February 15, 2015 at 8:16am

I saw the response Zell had for Dolly. I would never minimize anyone's grief but it is very obvious by her response she is just another person who just doesn't "get it."

While she made an attempt to relate to us, she just can't.  This is a grief you just can't begin to understand until your child is the one gone.

For me melting down and then reading things like "almost" and "relieved" felt like being teased.  I wish my situation was "almost" but it's not.

Now to try and tell us it is our fault she is walking away from support is just terrible wrong.  We expressed to her how she was affecting us and  instead of just quietly backing out she wants to justify herself and tell  us it is our fault she is walking away form support. 

I truly think there is a reason rooms are divided on here.  I think it is much more helpful to talk to those who share the same experience. 

I would never go to a site for a lost spouse and start telling people how to face it.  Simply because it is not my experience. 

We all recognized her grief while she recognized none of ours.  Yes I'm feeling angry. 

Zell I wish you the best and again I'm sorry for your loss.  I hope some day you find love again. 

Comment by Teresa D. on February 15, 2015 at 8:02am

Sharon, it is never easy to see someone join us. I am so sorry you have to live this.  My heart and prayers are with you as you try to understand this.  Please know we are here to support you and to share what we are learning as we travel down this road.  Troy loves you and always will.

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