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Comment by Maureen on February 15, 2015 at 7:23pm

Loss does suck! Especially the loss of my child. I've never in my life dealt with something like this. It makes me so angry at times. I've never felt so angry at everything and everyone. This has changed me.

Jill, I used to be married to an alcoholic. I was in counselling due to a tragic death involving a friend who had been drinking too much. One thing my counsellor told me about alcohol that stuck with me, and it would be the same for any drug I suppose. He told me that the difference between someone who drinks and an alcoholic is the problems that is caused by the alcohol. If drinking is causing you problems, whether it be with your work, relationships, health....whatever,and you continue to drink....then chances are, you are addicted to alcohol....otherwise you would stop drinking. You're right though.....there's no magic number or line that if you go over...that means you're an alcoholic. Everyone is different, and alcohol affects everyone differently.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on February 15, 2015 at 3:43pm

Thanks Jill...

And Yesterday I found out that a very good friend who was one of th few that supported me during this time with Jesse is most likely terminal with stomach cancer. She is only slightly older than me. Yeah, Loss just sucks...no matter what.

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 3:12pm

Thank you Dolly for understanding my rant/lecture. I love you

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 3:11pm

Laurie- my heart goes out to you...Peace

Comment by Jesse's Mom on February 15, 2015 at 3:04pm

I can only say that I have always found Zell to be personally kind and well meaning. There were times when I interacted with her and Bluebird and also Jo and have some great, very healing conversations. By interacting with others, I was able to read an absolutely stunning ADC, that was the most extraordinary one I have come across. I have found that when death hits close, that there are some incredible encounters across the veil and spiritual experiences that can follow bring some measure comfort to all. However, Loss just sucks. Six months before my son died, my cousin's son, also named Jesse, died at age 22. I brought my son there to attend that funeral. In October my son died. Since, my mom has had 4 siblings die in the last year so it has been tough there. She is now the oldest. Death sucks, grief sucks. As we were preparing to bury my one uncle (who was the grandfather of my cousin's son who died before mine), my sister's father-in-law passed the day I came down to support my mom, so then we dealt with two funerals at once. Then that same weekend, my father's friend (my age) who I was just introduced to had his daughter die on Mother's Day( that weekend last year). My father attended the 20 year old girls funeral on the same day my older sister, Julie, passed in 2001. This has all happened in a brief 2.5 year span... Loss just sucks no matter what. It just does.

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 2:36pm

I know Jill...

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 2:11pm

I am soot if I mixed up my words but my whole gist is that there is no line between controlling your use to when it controls you. There is no magic number or sign

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 2:08pm

Josh never admitted he had a problem at least as far as I know. I don't know and I probably will never know. Alcohol is like any drug, you say if you can't control it, then it is like saying that other hard drugs you could use as long as you can con control you use of them...where is the line between controlling your use and when you can't control it...when do you lose control, how do you know when you have crossed the line where it is for"pleasure" or addition. My son died because he was in the end stages of alcoholism, liver and kidney failure, the weeks before he was working at his job, then he was gone.

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2015 at 1:01pm

My cousin died as a result of alcohol too.. he had tried so hard to quit drinking... his job put him in situations where there was social drinking that he couldn't seem to get out of doing as part of what he thought was expected of him... he crashed and was killed on his way home... either from the alcohol alone or because it caused him to go to sleep at the wheel.... it was a tragedy for his family for sure.. and he was such a friendly person, and so funny.... and it was impossible to tell when he had been drinking or not I think.... he 'handled' it well if such a thing is even possible.... alcohol is a terrible drug if you can't control it.... as bad as any drug I think.. I mean it can destroy you just as badly as most of the problem drugs today...

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2015 at 12:37pm

I now "label" alcohol as an extremely deadly drug...one that can take even the young, not just the old man leaning on the bar with drink in hand everyday and stumbling home and later to be taken by this legal drug. It can take a young 33 year old man with everything going for him. Where no one knew (supposedly even his own wife)he had any problem until it was too late. I just don't understand. I never had a chance to try and help him...even a chance...alcohol as deadly as any drug. I love you my Joshie and I miss you so. Please let me know you are ok and that someday I can hug you and hear you say "I love you Mommas".

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