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Comment by Dolly on February 22, 2015 at 11:47pm

JILL I'm not trying to dissuade.. some changes are for the better for sure.. it has to be better to be close to Derek.... I wish I lived closer to my oldest son and grandkids that's for sure... but we can't afford to live where they live and they don't want to live where we live... I'm just saying what I always heard to not make major changes right away.. I don't think EVERY change fits into that category EVERY time though.. so don't think I'm giving advice to you specifically... YOU know best..

Comment by Dolly on February 22, 2015 at 11:43pm

Happy 20th birthday in heaven Greta

Comment by Jill E on February 22, 2015 at 8:45pm

Just to reiterate. I know they say not to make any major changes during an extremely stressful time. But I have to professionals that support me, and think it is absolutely the best thing for me. I will be close to my youngest son Derek. I will always and forever have my memories of my Josh with me wherever I go and he will always and forever and ever be in my heart. We all handle things in our own ways and it maynot be right to make such a big change but for me it is the right one. I love you all and I will always be right here to listen and support everyone as I know you do me. Hugs

Comment by Jill E on February 22, 2015 at 8:39pm

Had a couple of very scary times in the last couple of days also. Three bouts of my heart pounding so bad it feels like it is pounding out of my chest. Psych is having a hard time finding the right meds to help me sleep without making me drowsy all day but then again I need to sleep at night...

Comment by Jill E on February 22, 2015 at 8:35pm

My psychiatrist has had me off on disability for almost 3 months since I lost my Josh. I am retiring from the state actually a week from tomorrow. Another thing that I can do in Arizona and not here in California. Far too expensive for us to stay here where in Arizona everything is much more affordable especially housing. I came across a lot of Josh's things this weekend which was very hard but it was things I forgot he had collected. It was very hard.

Comment by Jill E on February 22, 2015 at 8:28pm

My psychiatrist and therapist support my totally with my move from California to Arizona. It is stressful but it is keeping me busy and my days full. I still have my "bed days" but am looking forward to not have so many memories hitting me in the face everyday. I will take all of my memories of my sweet, sweet son Josh with me always.

Comment by Maureen on February 22, 2015 at 7:17pm

So sorry to hear of your loss Sharon. My thoughts are with you PK. My 21 year old son died less than 4 months ago on Oct. 31. I wish I could report that I feel any better now than I did then, but I simply cannot. I'm told I will manage it in time, and I believe it's true. I have an appointment for me and my daughter with a medium this week. I'm so afraid that nothing will happen.

Comment by PK on February 22, 2015 at 6:15pm

Greta would have been twenty today. 

I can't get out  of bed this morning.

I wish she was here.

Comment by Sharon on February 22, 2015 at 12:32pm

Thank you everyone for your kind words... I know that all of you have walked down this horrible journey.  Everynight I thank my son for giving me the strength to make it through one more day.  I may never go back to work.  I've worked for the past 35 years of my life. I'm only 57, but I'm tired.  I'll just have to see how I feel, and if my job is still there when I feel strong enough...  

Thank you Connie, I will read Proof of Heaven.  I've been reading every night since Troy died.  It keeps my sanity while I wait for my xanax to kick in!

Comment by Connie K on February 22, 2015 at 11:39am

Sharon my heart is with you. It took me 6 weeks to return to work. Honestly you need to give yourself time. but what helped me especially in those first weeks was walking, moving, reading  and allowing myself the time to grieve. Be gentle with yourself. I recommend Proof of Heaven by Ethan Alexander and Healing from Loss by Martha Whitaker (I still read it everyday). Hugs to everyone.

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