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Comment by Sharon on February 27, 2015 at 5:06pm

My son has sent me 3 signs... One being a pin that you pin on yourself that says Emmanuel. I walked in my backyard... And it was laying on the grass. I looked it up and Hebrew meaning is"with God". I'm not very religious, but It made me feel a little better...

Comment by Jill E on February 27, 2015 at 12:41pm

I too look for signs. Sometimes I feel like I am looking too hard. The couple I have seen my logical mind wants to pop in and tell me that I am just "imagining it", that it really could not be a sign. Then I look at it again and I think if I had not been there at that time and place at that moment I would not have seen it. Like the car driving by that looked like the car Josh and I bought for him over 10 years ago and it is not a really common car not common color. When I go to bed at night I want to feel his arms going around me and telling me "I love you Mommas" just like he use to. Right before they intubated him he said that to me but since that day I doubt myself...I know I wanted to hear that and I swear he looked me in the eye and said it before he could not speak any longer. I believe it was the last thing he spoke. To me his Mommas. Not to his wife but to me his Mommas. Then like I said I go doubting myself. Did I hear it because I "wanted" to hear it. Did it really happen??? I am so confused. If it really did happen I feel that was his way of saying he was sorry. I still can't believe he is gone. His smile, his laugh, his refusal to smile when a camera was around, his love. How could he be gone so quickly. How could he be gone so young. How can anyone survive a mother's pain like this . These last three months have seemed so long and yet it is all so fresh. How can it feel so long ago but also just yesterday? I lone you my Joshie and miss you everyday more than the one before. I pray to hold you once again in my arms. I pray there is somewhere we will be together. Peace

Comment by Maureen on February 27, 2015 at 11:53am

Sandy, what she told me is that sometimes we look too hard for these big signs that we miss the little signs that they show us all the time. If you're going to do it, make sure you check out the medium you choose. There are a lot of people out there who try to make money off of people who are vulnerable...like us. The reason I chose her is because of a dream I had of my son.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on February 27, 2015 at 11:42am

I like that too Teresa, sure is true. 

Today is 4 months for me and it's been a really hard week, I am so down and so sad and I miss my Randy more then words can express.

Maureen, that is very interesting and I'm so glad it went well for you.  Maybe I should try that, I don't have any signs and I need them so much.

Hugs to everybody.. x0

Comment by Maureen on February 27, 2015 at 11:24am

I like that Teresa. I know there's probably some of you out there that might think I'm crazy but I saw a medium yesterday. It went really well. She brought up things about what's been going on in mine and my daughters lives lately that she possibly couldn't know. All the things that have happened since my son passed that are like signs that he's still with me were validated. Some personal things that my son wanted us to know really helped and I feel like the healing can begin now.

Comment by Teresa D. on February 27, 2015 at 7:32am

Comment by Marie on February 25, 2015 at 1:30pm

Thank you, Connie for the ideas. I like the ballon idea. I think we may do that.

Sharon, I am sorry for your loss. It is just so hard. My son was a month away from turning 23 when he died. He had just returned to college that week and died from an accidental heroin overdose. I am still stunned.

Comment by Sharon on February 24, 2015 at 10:46pm

Marie... I know how you feel. I can't believe my son is gone too. I miss him sooooo much. It's hard to go on...

Comment by Connie K on February 24, 2015 at 4:46pm

I know Sharon the idea of no relief EVER is daunting...

Marie _ i understand that DAY. For me it's every Saturday night. He died at 8:20pm. I don;t ever want to do anything.

I have done different things to honor my son on special days. I have done a balloon release with 5 of his closest friends. we all wrote a message and attached it to the balloons and sent them up together. It was nice for them to be together again and express their feelings. The first birthday he was gone my husband got a tattoo that matched one Daniel had. Last year we did a African drum circle with friends and family and that was awesome. He was a drummer. It is just good to plan Something even if talking a walk in a beautiful place or doing something that your child loved to do. I loved the drum circle because I didn't have to lead anything or host, just participate. Everyone could feel that my Daniel was there with us and everyone enjoyed such a positive and fun activity. I think I want to do it again this year.

Comment by Sharon on February 24, 2015 at 3:52pm

Having such a bad day. One minute I feel horrible anxiety, and the next I'm exhausted and sleep. I don't know much longer I can take feeling like this.

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