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Comment by Connie K on March 10, 2015 at 1:08pm

Jill it is best to be busy and creative. The painting class would be great fro you I'm sure. I'd love to do it also. I love Sedona. Just a little far !

So it's good that you have the momentum to plan and do these things. I am sorry about you d-i-l. It must be very difficult not to have access to your son's things

Dolly glad you found a spiritual community to support you.  It is the only thing that keeps me sane. And it does take daily meditation and intention to keep our thoughts in a higher consciousness. It helps so much to nurture your spirit. That will keep you closer to Brandon's experience now and those signs will come even more

Comment by Jill E on March 10, 2015 at 12:30pm

My move has certainly kept me busy but the grief come in literally tremendous waves. I plug along then crash. I know you understand. Work will be good. I plain on getting my home all fixed up and have already decided to volunteer, join a gym, who knows I found this thing that talks about trying to do oil painting in Sedona. I am taking my Koshie with me on this new adventure, in my heart mind and soul. I love you my Joshie!

Comment by Dolly on March 10, 2015 at 12:27pm

all my sweet friends... I have just joined an online church that is helping me deal with all the things that have been happening to me since my husband was diagnosed and my precious Brandon died.... I have no church that I 'go to' around here and these people just started the online church recently.. I had been getting their "Daily Word" emails ever since I found them on another Christian site and reading their words has really affected me, so when they started the online church I decided to join... it seems to keep me turning to God to find relief when everything seems to be falling apart again.. and again...and again.. so maybe someone in here may be helped by this site:

http://www.refreshinghope.org

Comment by Sharon on March 10, 2015 at 12:10pm

Yes Jill, that was a sign from your Josh. I know how any tiny sign from our loved ones bring such joy to us.  I hope your daughter in law will come around and give up some of your sons belongings.  Sounds like she needs to get some help.  

Thank you for your kind words Jill.  I hope your move goes smoothly. 

Comment by Jill E on March 10, 2015 at 11:50am

Sharon- Big Hugs and sending you a ton of courage. I hope all the time for signs. The other day as I was in line at Marshalls a lady in front of me grabbed one of those reuse plastic handle bags covered in VW Bugs. Josh was a major VW Collector so once again I think and hope that was a sign. If I had not been at that Marshalls at that time, if the woman in front of me hadn't grabbed that bag so I would notice it??? Could that be a sign? Am I searching for things to make me feel better? Are they signs or just coincidences??? I guess I will never know, I hope and pray to see signs or feel his presence everyday

Comment by Jill E on March 10, 2015 at 11:36am

I totally agree about the post but she really blasted us for my husband's comment even though I tried to explain how very much it hurt us. She barely talks to us now. I did text her and asked her if she could give his brother, Derek a couple of jerseys and baseball caps, dress ties and really that about all. She never asked what we would like. Since we move next Wednesday I had to see if she would give in. I asked her if Derek could maybe have one of the Dallas Cowboys jersey and she answered back "she wasn't ready to give them up. She had only come across a couple of them". Kind of interesting because his brother, Derek has been giving Josh Cowboy jerseys for Christmas for years. At least the last 8 years or so. I just think she could possibly give up one. I have not asked for any of the Volkswagen collectables. Many many we have given him and he has hundreds of them. They have no children to pass anything to and I just don't think I was asking too much.

Comment by Connie K on March 10, 2015 at 11:26am

Jill

 your daughter-in-law very well could be a functioning alcoholic. What an incredibly insensitive thing to post inline!

Comment by Sharon on March 10, 2015 at 8:22am

My son has been gone a month. I will try and go back to work Monday. I still miss him so much. I'm hoping that working will be a good distraction. He sent me a few signs in the beginning. I hope he continues. I would be interested to know what signs your loved one has sent you...

Comment by Jill E on March 9, 2015 at 9:38pm

The last few days have been really bad. I almost physically get sick because absolutely everywhere I go alcohol is served, glorified, made to appear so appealing and irresistible. I still have such a hard time understanding my daughter-in-law. She placed a picture on FB showing a muli wine dispenser like a soda machine, with the comment "everyone needs one of these". Well my husband got so ticked he commented back "I know someone that doesn't need one". Well we were "unfriended by her and her mom, etc. I tried to explain that it really hurt dad to post that. She just blasted us!!! So now I am looking at "is she an alcoholic?" Is that why she didn't help Josh? Is my psychiatrist and therapist and others right that she does have a drinking problem? The house is a pig sty it is horrible, my son has been gone 3 months yesterday and a couple of weeks ago when I went by the house it was worse than before. I miss my Joshie. My boys are the lights of my life and one is gone. It is so hard to go on... I try to keep busy so as to not give myself too much time to think. The worst part of that is the grief does not go away it just builds up and builds up until the dam bursts. Peace

Comment by Connie K on March 9, 2015 at 12:55pm

Haniyyah

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost  3children. Two in the womb and my 17 year old son 2 years ago. One child was early in the pregnancy but I lost my daughter Emily Rose at 5 months during my pregnancy. It was devastating. There are specific grief support groups just for your sad experience. try to see if you have a local chapter of the Compassionate Friends. It is a national organization and they have a sub-group for pregnancy and infant loss. It is different and carries it 's own unique challenges. There may be one on this site also I'm not sure. Know this, your child is okay and their spirit lives on as does the love between you does. And though you will mourn him or her forever, you are so young that I hope you can go on to heal to the point that you can have other children when you feel ready. I know that horrible feeling of feeling so consumed with life during pregnancy and then to have that baby die inside you. I felt like a tomb. I would recommend getting counseling  also if you can. But we are here for you and understand how devastating it all is. You can express what ever you need to safely and know that you are not alone.

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