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Comment by Teresa D. on May 8, 2015 at 4:39pm

Mother's Day! They say, "Embrace it", but I ask, "How?"

No matter what, we are all still Mom's.  That's a love and a bond that nothing can take, not even this.

For me I pulled out every Mother's Day card Michael ever gave me and I displayed them.  I read and re-read them because I know Michael each year looked for the right words.  Sunday I will be proud to tell anyone who will listen that I am the proud mother of the worlds greatest son, Michael Cristo Dimitri III. 

Mommy loves you Mike, I will never stop and you will always be my little Smurf!!!!!!!!!

I hope everyone one of you can find some peace on Mother's Day!

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on May 8, 2015 at 3:59pm

I agree Sharon, part of us is gone and it always will be.  I feel broken and will never be ok.  Mothers Day coming up is unbearable.  Also my Randys birthday would be this month, he missed so much, a car, a girlfriend, college.  I am lost without him.  I try to block out the painful thoughts, they just hurt so damn much.  He was so happy when he was growing up, I will never understand why he would turn to drugs, I torture myself thinking about why and I will never know. Hugs to everybody.

Comment by Sharon on May 8, 2015 at 3:35pm

Katherine,

This is my first Mother's Day without my beloved son Troy.  He was 24, my baby.  I don't think we will ever not be sad. We have lost part of us, part of our future... it's as if a piece of our heart has been yanked out.  Nothing will ever be able to fill that hole.

I read in your profile that you are a nurse. I am too.  Sadly, we have a few things in common. Hope you find a little peace this Sunday.

Sharon

Troy's mom

Comment by katherine foster on May 8, 2015 at 1:14pm

This will be my fifth year without Lesly and it seems that each year intensifies the loss around mothers day.  I just haven't figured out anything that helps ease the sadness around this day.  She was our only child

Comment by Jill E on May 8, 2015 at 1:00pm

This will be my first Mother's Day without my son. I have a younger son so I put in my "happy face" so he doesn't worry about me. I have no idea but I know I can't stay home...I have to go somewhere where I can keep my mind busy, so not to be able to think too much.
I read that you work with an animal rescue. My son Josh had 3 rescues and I was very close to the Rescue Group. I just moved to Arizona so plan on volunteering soon. With 4 dogs I don't have room to foster but I do want to work with animals.
This group is wonderful, so many kind and caring people that have so much to offer. I don't know what I would do without them.

Comment by katherine foster on May 8, 2015 at 12:50pm

I'm new to this group but I've been reading the posts about how very hard Mother, and then Fathers, day is.  I find that the few weeks prior to it I get increasingly emotional and anxious.  What do 'you' do to get through it?

Comment by Jill E on May 8, 2015 at 12:49pm

I have been so tempted to bury my life in alcohol. Make myself numb. I came from a family of functioning alcoholics and my son died from alcoholism at 33. I have never been a big drinker (my drug of choice is food which I have a severe addiction to) but let me tell you alcohol is calling my name, but I can't because of my son's addiction. An addiction that I never knew about he hid it so well. Please take care when using any form of drug as when it wears off the pain is still there and can make it worse. You could hurt those that love you.

Comment by Connie K on May 8, 2015 at 11:21am

Oh how i understand -I have a a couple of cocktails every night. It's  bad habit to have gotten into. But honestly, it gives me some relief for a short time. It just sucks trying to live through this. I want to try to schedule something during that "happy hour" time because by then I am lonely (my hubby doesn't get home til 8pm) and exhausted from "doing' all the things I need to do in life to feel like I am functioning. But I can't even get the energy to keep scheduling and keep doing. We all try to do the best we can today. Hugs

Comment by Dolly on May 7, 2015 at 10:26pm

RJ don't beat yourself up.... just be careful... some people take meds to help, and some of us use alcohol .. I do limit myself but on a really bad day I may not limit my self as much... I'm sick of judgmental people telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing... hateful people... just be careful and try not to hurt yourself ...

Comment by Sharon on May 7, 2015 at 9:09pm

Rj, I never drank more than wine with friends. Never at home alone. Since my son died, I've been having a glass of something at night... just one, but I know I shouldn't because I take the Xanax to sleep. I think we have to do what we have to do to survive the moment. If you need a drink, go for it. Moderation is the key. '

Connie, so awful. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son.  I have flashbacks too of finding my son dead.  I'm looking into EMDR. I really believe that we have PTSD.  What we have been through is truly traumatic!

With Mother's day approaching, pain is horrible. I had a day off today and spent it crying.

Yes RJ, I wished we all lived in the same city too.

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