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Comment by Rj on May 14, 2015 at 11:30am

Im sorry dolly, you have so much to deal with. Katherine its not anything we will get over is it. Im trying to manage each day but its only been 3 months for me since losing my only son. I have gut wrenching pain every day all day.

Comment by katherine foster on May 14, 2015 at 11:14am

I have yet to 'GET OVER' the death of my daughter.  And it's been a little over 5 years.  It's something I manage daily.  People have and will say things like that preatcher said,  thinking they are helping.  I just try not to think too hard or take them serious anymore. 

Comment by Dolly on May 14, 2015 at 10:51am

but I do believe that God is with us... and I do believe that Brandon is near to us always in some way... and I have to forgive the preacher but I'm not doing so well with that part yet... I'm still mad as spit at him..

Comment by Dolly on May 14, 2015 at 10:48am

these comments came from an online pastor.. or some of them... he told me I was wallowing in self pity and wanting to broadcast my grief all over the internet and that I was in danger of 'praying to the dead' by talking to my son.. I don't expect Brandon to talk back and I don't ask him to do favors for me in heaven or for him to ask God for anything on my behalf.. but nevertheless there are those who think just talking in your head to a love one who has passed on is a sin... and that wasn't even said to me about the 'signs' so much as just in reference to my sadness and heartache over losing my son.. I wasn't 'getting over' the past and 'moving on' fast enough to please the preacher I guess.. anyway it's not something that anyone should say to a grieving mother I don't think.. where is the compassion in that? How can you mourn with those who mourn like the Bible tells us to do if all we do is tell mourning people to get over it and move on and stop feeling sorry for themselves... that whole experience just happened with the preacher... right at a time when it was not only the time of year my son died, but mother's day was coming, and all sorts of other stresses were on this family... my husband's battle with prostate cancer, his surgery for goiters which we didn't know were benign until after the surgery.. a huge gas line trying to come right in front of our house in the woods and a huge reduction in funding ...to less than half what it is now.. the funding supports people like my son Bo who is totally physically disabled.. so they can stay in their own homes instead of in an institution.... then this preacher unloads on me ...

Comment by Rj on May 14, 2015 at 10:39am

How can people be so rude as to say those things to you..? I guess i have been very blessed, i have not had any inappropriate comments from relatives or friends. They are still very kind and gentle with my pain, they know how close my son and I were.

Comment by Dolly on May 14, 2015 at 8:30am

many people tell me the things that have happened are just wishful thinking, or I'm lying or they are from the devil or that I'm hallucinating.. but I know better... so just keep your eyes and ears open.. expect the unexpected... ask God to send you dreams of your loved one.. that is safe enough... or ask God to show you somehow that your loved one is with Him and still alive and more well than they ever were before... I pray He will allow you that peace too...

Comment by Jill E on May 13, 2015 at 1:38pm

I am so good at acting. I bury it as much as I can. My husband doesn't get it. I hide it from my son. I have so much anger for my daughter-in-law. I know I should let it go but I am just not able to, right now maybe never. Of course she isn't talking to me anyway so...I am mad at my ex husband and have so many unanswered questions for him.
I am trying to find happy things in life but my life is so horrible. I took it for granted that I would always have my sons. No one would take him from me.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on May 13, 2015 at 1:23pm

Me too Rj, I miss him so much and want him back so much, it's almost 7 months and I feel worse now then a month ago, nobody knows what to say, nobody knows except us how painful and awful this feels.

Comment by Rj on May 13, 2015 at 1:10pm

Love the stories dolly. Sandy i am still praying and waiting patiently for larry to reach out also. God i miss him so much. 3 1/2 months. I want him back!!

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on May 13, 2015 at 12:05pm

Dolly I love to hear of all your experiences, I don't feel I am having any and I want them so much.  My babys birthday is next week and I am falling apart, I don't know how to cope with this, I am crying all the time and feel like my heart is being ripped out of my body, last year he was 18, beautiful, clean and sober, I cant believe this painful life I am living now

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