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Comment by Rj on June 2, 2015 at 6:50am

I agree Jane, it is comforting to know we are not alone or going crazy, i know it does help me. No matter what stage of grief we are in, the pain is so real. Every day i wake up and want to stay in bed so i guess it is good I went back to work because if not i can see me doing just that. I miss my son so much, as the days pass, seems like the pain gets deeper. I miss life with larry, hard to get thru the day but somehow for whatever reason we are all still here, managing to get thru, live with such pain and lonliness, sadness.

Comment by Jane P on June 1, 2015 at 7:32pm

Thank you all for sharing.

It helps all of us.

It helps to know there are others who live with this pain but are willing to help others.

You are good people.

Thank you.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on June 1, 2015 at 6:09pm

Teresa, what you wrote very much spoke to where I am/and was at. I have had my days too, that I just lay on the floor, too blindsided to move. Thanks for the note back. I feel like I am walking across a ice-slicked pond...

As far as people avoiding the bereaved mom, the worst offender for this in my life turned out to be my "supposed BFF" who was in my life for more than 35 years. When things turned real bad shortly after the first month, she told me in a text to "go back to my own family" for this. Her and I had shared a long history, including her living with my family for a couple of years when her own threw her out in the streets.

Also, thinking of VP Joe Biden today as he just lost his second son. (His first wife and young son died in a car crash). 

Comment by Sharon on June 1, 2015 at 4:57pm

My friend gave me a letter to email to all of my friends and family. It's entitled "what I need". I was scared to do it, but I sent it and so far most have said that it was helpful to them.  If anyone would like to read it, I will send it to them.

I hear you Jill and Rj. People are afraid of us. We might be contagious, and we make them sad. We are not the same people that they knew before and they don't understand why.

Comment by Jill E on June 1, 2015 at 4:35pm

That is why I have been a hermit because not only do people not know what to say to me I don't know what to say to them.

Comment by Rj on June 1, 2015 at 12:04pm

I have noticed that teresa. Some look at me like they have seen a ghost when i come around the corner, some just look down to the ground as if have become a complete stranger although have worked together for many years. I want to say its okay, my sons suicide is not contagious. I am broken but still standing, at least for this day.

Comment by Teresa D. on June 1, 2015 at 11:59am

It's very hard for us to face reality while those around us have a real hard time facing us.  It is really hard for some to look at the grieving mother.  Some avoid us because they don't know what to say or do without realizing they don't need to say or do anything.

Comment by Rj on June 1, 2015 at 11:32am

I feel like most of you all and appreciate those who are much farther along in the grieving process, sharing where you are now. Guves me some hope that there may come a day where i wont always feel so horrible, day in and day out

Comment by Jill E on June 1, 2015 at 10:43am

Teresa what you said makes me think I am not so "strange". I locked myself in my closet one day sobbing with a blanket and pillow because it was the only place that was dark, the way I feel everyday.
6 months is coming up...I am scared. My daughter/in/law is still not talking to me. I think she feels guilty maybe and she does not understand I am a grieving mother. She does not accept or respect my feelings. I don't understand. I am staying away from FB again. I do this quite often as I see too many hurtful reminders. This happy mask is So hard to wear. It falls off at unexpected times. The sick wrenching pain in my stomach comes on all of a sudden and then the visions of my Josh in his hospital bed. It hurts like no other pain I have ever experienced.. I love you my Joshie. WYWH

Comment by Dolly on June 1, 2015 at 9:52am

Let us all KNOW our children are ALIVE and with YOU God..... let us feel the love they have for us still.. I know they do...

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