Comment

Comment by Kevin's Mom on August 9, 2019 at 8:38am

I lost my son, my only child last month in a motorcycle accident. He was 32 and a father of two children. I live in the States and he lives in Canada, when I received a call from his wife I didn't answer the phone, I knew something was very wrong. I got very upset and kept telling myself, please let it anyone else but my son, I could handle anything else, but not my son. My life will never be the same, he was part of my identity, his past, present and future was my life. How does a mother just stop being a mother when her child's story tragically ends. It's cruel.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on April 30, 2019 at 7:28pm

Connie, thanks for the response. You are welcome to share some of these poems from this post. They are from Dee, a friend of mine, who shares her poetry from loss publicly.

https://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/topic/6290-grief-poems-writi...

Comment by Connie K on April 30, 2019 at 6:12pm

Hi Jesse's Mom, Just wanted to send you hugs and prayers. You explained it all so well. I am immersed in TCF newsletter - I am editor for our chapter - but pretty much produce the whole thing. It's tough to do it because of all the sad stories and triggers. But it has helped me to get that newsletter and know i wasn't alone and that there is a community locally for me if I need it. So I try to pay it forward. Not sure how many more years I will but for now I will keep on doing it. If anyone ever wants to submit a poem or writing that would be awesome. I find that it is here that I have done most of my real true feelings wriing. I actually copy and paste my blogs into a word document so I can refer to them easiiy. You all have been an invaluable support. Thank you and big hugs to everyone.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on April 30, 2019 at 5:06pm

Connie, thanks for sharing the sign from your son.

Theresa, totally agree with your post. 

Comment by Jesse's Mom on April 30, 2019 at 5:03pm

I am now 6.5 years since my son's passing. Some things have improved to a degree, but mostly I have learned to hide my true feelings much better. 

I have also learned to do the "split-brain" thing, where one half of my thought processes stay in the present just to function here on this planet, and the other half resides off somewhere else, always seeking my adult son and also my infant son. 

There really has not been a healing --  rather just learning how to deal with a wound that only partially heals over, at times that thin covering rips off. I have learned how to hide real fast...people still exhaust me.

I have been able to de-sensitive to certain "triggers" which is some progress. I have been able to return to work, though not at the rate I was once able to perform at.

My dreams remain vivid and I am alert in them, and I am always searching for him there...

I try and stay focused in the present as I have a daughter and a grandson  who is very dependent on me yet. My adult daughter still gets extreme panic attacks...

So perhaps that is some healing, but there are some days, it still hurts so damn bad -- and I am still living the nightmare.

Comment by Lynn Williams on February 20, 2019 at 1:03pm

Thinking of everyone here with love

Comment by Connie K on February 20, 2019 at 12:08pm

It's been so long since I've been here. Somehow I don't get notifications anymore. And from November til after y sin' birthday March 31 I just want to run away and disengage with the world. But I think of you all and send you love and prayers for this difficult journey. I know I should say encouraging things but after 6 long years I feel I am going backwards. But I will go on... "Onward ever forward on the walk of Life..."

Comment by Teresa D. on October 12, 2018 at 9:54pm

Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 12, 2018 at 9:51pm

Connie forgive me if I screw this up but the line, "Don't cry for me, cause I live in eternity" runs through me head all the time.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 12, 2018 at 9:43pm

Connie what a beautiful gift!!!!! That was Daniel, letting you know he's there. 

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