Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on January 1, 2010 at 5:25pm

Hey guys - just wondering how everyone fared over the past couple of weeks. I know it's been tough for us all.
Sending a bunch of hugs and hopes for a brighter 2010
Gail x

Permalink Reply by Christy Pruett on January 7, 2010 at 5:41am

December 7th 2009 I Lost my 2 year old little boy He had Lissencephaly and was mentally and physically disabled. Although we knew we'd eventually lose him we never ever thought it'd be so soon. He was not sick at the time of his death, he aspirated his lunch(pediasure) during his nap and basically drowned. Having a hard time dealing with everything.

Permalink Reply by melissa whaley on January 7, 2010 at 10:30am

So sorry for you i know the first couple months seem impossible to survive. Being around and talking to others who have been through the same pain helps so you know you are not crazy.

Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on January 7, 2010 at 12:03pm

Christy - I'm so sorry for the loss of your son - bless his heart xx
My daughter was diagnosed with terminal illness at the age of 5 - she did live till she was almost 15 then she got pneumonia and her organs just gave up. It's so difficult to live with a 'terminal' diagnosis and my heart goes out to you - I know.
You are very, very early in your grief. I'm sorry to say that you have a long and difficult journey ahead of you but we are here to help you get through those times. This is a place to share and rant and rave whenever you need to - don't hold back. We've all been where you are and we understand.
Welcome to the group that no-one wants to be a part of.
Take care Gail x

Permalink Reply by paula ingalls on January 9, 2010 at 9:17am

hi gail, this is paula ,i am glad for everyones response. i feel so lost my world is so dark right now, i need to talk and carry on as if im crazy, yhat dont even make sense. why does this happen to us, i always prayed god would take care of my boys, and of course everyone. but this has took my meaning in life i almost feel like i dont want to go on. this world is so full of misery. i didnt feel this way before he died, i cant get over how he died and the wreck and how he felt at the time its driving me nuts i just ned for god to give me a sign of somekind that he is okay. i need to find yhat one person to whom i can express myself to. this site overwhelms me there are so many people i dont know where to start. i try to talk to my mom, but she always fells worst than me not a listener, but a loving mom ang grandmother, my sister the same they think they help but they make me feeel worse, my mother lost my sister at 16 yrs do to an auto accident 40yrs, ago i almost feel like she forgot what the beginning felt like she just says ill get better, i know this i lost my dadto sucide my sister to wreck, my aunt to murder, grandmothers and grandfathers to natural causes. bot this is so different. THANKS FOR READING THIS

Permalink Reply by Ken Ciolek on July 9, 2010 at 7:36pm

Hi Paula,
I will talk to you if you like, you can email me directly at kciolek@optonline.net. I can tell you about my daughter and tell me aboiut your tragedy

Permalink Reply by Connie Pharr on January 25, 2010 at 10:31am

hi...i too am new to this but not to the pain of the death of a child. i lost my son 5 years ago to a drug overdose. he had celebrated his 30th birthday in march and he died in may.
while i am not in the deep overwhelming grief that you experience when your loss in new i am still, at times knocked over. it comes when i least expect it. sometimes seeing a young man who reminds me of my son, sometimes hearing a song. i know the reality is that i will carry this loss to my grave. i guess what i am looking for is someone who understand. at the time of ryans death i was married to someone who couldn't or wouldn't allow me to just talk, or cry or scream. (this man was not ryans dad) my daughter lives far away and while she misses her brother she has lots of friends who love and support her for which i am thankful. ryans dad also lives far away and seems for the most part to have moved on with his life. i am not seeking to wallow in my loss or invite everyone over for a pity party. i just want to connect with people who sadly and for a terrible reason, understand.

Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on January 25, 2010 at 12:48pm

Hi Connie and welcome to the group no one wants to join. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Ryan and know only too well how those days come back and hit you right in the solar plexus, without warning! It can come upon you anytime can't it? My name is Gail - I've been walking this road for the last 8 1/2 years, my daughter Meshael died in 2001. She had a rare genetic disorder called Fanconi Anaemia and she sadly passed away two days before her 15th birthday. It just doesn't seem fair does it.
I'm so sorry that your ex wasn't able to help you through those early days - we need someone close to us to vent to sometimes. But, I have found groups like this invaluable over the years because no-one really understands except another bereaved parent. There are some lovely people here who will ready with some understanding hugs and a shoulder if you need it. Feel comfortable to vent whenever you feel like it - we understand.
Hugs
Gail x

Permalink Reply by Connie Pharr on January 25, 2010 at 7:04pm

Gail,
Thank you for your kind words. I think this website is literally going to be a Godsend for me. I've had no one to really talk to. People mean well but they have no idea and because they have no idea they just want us to grieve, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and go on. If only it were that easy.
I turned to journaling because no one knew what to do or say. What they don't realize is that there is often nothing to do or say...just be there for us and let us be what and who we need to be and don't turn away, no matter how many times we cry or ask why. They don't have to have all the answers, just a hug or a kiss or a phone call to say "I'm thinking of you today"
So thank you all in advance for being here for me. I hope to gain strength from you and hope to impart the same to you...With Love...Connie

Permalink Reply by Terrie B on August 28, 2011 at 9:09pm

Connie,

I am new to this group and am trying to make it day by day.  My daughter was murdered in her home on July 11, 2011.  I go to work everyday, and really have no one to talk to.  Some days are good, but some are bad, on occassion I will start crying for no reason............nobody knows what to do......so they do nothing.  I don't blame them because I don't think I would know what to do if I were in their place.

My daughters murder is still unsolved so I spend most of my free time writing in my journal.  Seems like there is never  a day where I don't have something to write.  It does ease the pain somewhat.....

but its always there....the heavy heart and the sadness.

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on August 28, 2011 at 10:04pm

Greetings Terrie, so sorry to learn of another parent's grief. I know your heart is broken. I am still suffering from the lost of my 21 yr old son, so I know, along with so many others, the pain you are feeling. My son passed away about 22 months ago and let me tell you, my pain has NOT eased one single bit nor has my anger, it's only gotten worse. I will never accept what has happened to my baby. Perhaps I will have a little bit of relief, as far as my anger, when justice is obtained for my son. My son's case is still under investigation. He was chased and rammed into another car while riding his friend's motorcycle on a residential street. He remained in ICU for 1 week until him and I were robbed of his young life.

I will NEVER be "OK" with this, how could this be ok? Thank goodness for  this site and all of the support that is available here. I encourage you to to navigate throughout this site for the many groups and forums that are available. As you read through the postings, you will see that you are not alone, yes that's sad but at least all of your thoughts and feelings will not be judged, only validated. Some of the groups I belong to are this one-please share your story, missing your son or daughter, sudden traumatic loss and Do you ever feel like your pain has only intensified and I'm sure there are some others that I didn't mention.

Once again I am so sorry, I cry with you!

Permalink Reply by Patti Meadows on August 28, 2011 at 10:14pm

Terry, I will pray for you tonight....My son Matt, went to heaven 5 years ago in June..He was 26.  I know this is all so raw and fresh for you, but God is big, and let Him get you through it.  I wasted a lot of time being angry with the Lord, but He hates death also.....I pray peace, and I hope that things are settled for You very soon.....You are very strong to even be able to post here.  I hope you know that we all love you here and bear your burden with you.  Love and Blessings, Patti Meadows

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